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AIBU?

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Original poster

Sister announces wedding just before mine

136 replies

Finallygettingmarried · 18/09/2023 20:31

Due to get married in Feb next year, has been planned almost a year.
Nothing big and flashy, but a small do with family and friends, very low key and rustic, in quaint little village hall.

Sister called to let me know she's getting married just before Xmas (this year), she's been married before and they're planning a small ceremony too.

I'm normally very laid back and really don't have much of an ego about stealing thunder. And of course, I'm really happy for them.

But it just made me feel a bit..funny?! Am I being stupid?

For a bit of background, we get on okay, we've had our ups and downs, but we get on fine now. Very different people - she's quite 'showy' and materialistic I guess, very competitive and I prefer a more quiet life. But she's a nice person and can be caring (sometimes!).

What do you think?

OP posts:
Justmuddlingalong · 18/09/2023 20:36

I think you need to explain why you feel funny about it before I can vote.

minipeony · 18/09/2023 20:36

Absolutely fine. She might want to just get it over and done with and christmas is a popular time so its either do it quick or wait a year. Not everyone wants to wait ages.

Etiquette does usually dictate that this is poor form but unless you move in those circles it's irrelevant.

cruffinsmuffin · 18/09/2023 20:35

I think it depends - if they're doing a small ceremony 2+ months before, then it's Christmas, NYE and the whole of jan + some Feb - no one will be linking the weddings at all or comparing imo. It's not as if they've booked a 5 star hotel wedding the week before!

If they've been married before (have you, or is this your first?) perhaps they're not thinking the same way you are?

BMW6 · 18/09/2023 20:34

It's not really JUST before yours is it, that would be the day or week before yours!

Just enjoy your wedding - better yet, your marriage.

Happiestonthebeach · 18/09/2023 20:34

Don’t overthink it and put a downer on your own day.

MartinChuzzlewit · 18/09/2023 20:34

OP you will be told YABU and a Bridezilla but actually I totally 100% get where you’re coming from. There’s an etiquette about these things with close family IMO

DutchTeenyPixie · 18/09/2023 20:34

2 months is a long time and with Christmas/New Year in the mix. It's really not too close Flowers

gogomoto · 18/09/2023 20:34

So 2 months ahead? Yabu, it's not her fault you booked so far ahead. What are you suggesting, if 2 months isn't enough of a gap!

GreenhouseGarden · 18/09/2023 20:33

It’s not “just before” your wedding it’s months before your wedding.

strawberryjeans · 18/09/2023 20:32

People will tell you YABU but you really are not being unreasonable, at all. If it’s in her nature she’s probably happy thinking she got there first. All you can do is smile and wish her well. It won’t matter in the grand scheme of things x

SherbetLemonn · 18/09/2023 20:32

I think you’re really overthinking this. It isn’t even in the same year. I can’t see what difference you think this makes?