Sister announces wedding just before mine

newlandnewbie

The post you've replied to is 3 years old!!!!!!!

Its ages before yours. Other people are allowed to get married.it will spoil your day only if you let it

I just saw your post and it’s very obvious she was jealous of your day and wanted to get in before you. Same thing happened to a family member of mine but many people saw through what the other couple did, it's still incredibly hurtful and below the belt. As she’s trying to take the limelight from you.

I totally get you on this - my sil did the same. It's not okay esp when she knew yours was already booked

I get how upsetting it is, OP

I had similar happen to me many years ago before I married my first husband, but with my group of friends.

I'd had my wedding booked for over a year and then about two months before my wedding another friend decided to have her wedding the weekend before mine.

Which then meant that all my friends were very focussed on her wedding, getting outfits to wear etc, and although they were all invited to my wedding a few dropped out as they'd 'been to X's wedding the weekend before'

I dropped the friends that dropped out of my wedding but it was so upsetting at the time

I think you are being a bit unreasonable. It's not as if it's just the week before, and you say she is also planning a small celebration, so it doesn't look as if she is trying to out-wedding you.

You don't get to monopolise this year. Her wedding isn't even the same year as your wedding 🙄🙄🙄

@Cudjoe
As a rule, how long do you think about the weddings that you attend? Why would any be thinking about someone else's wedding weeks later.

The bride will be the center of attention on her wedding day. There is only so much interest anyone has in the build up to a wedding. There are certain activities in which you may engage, but that is essentially pro forma. I suspect not many people are excited about attending yet another shower or hens event. Those are things that you do out of a well developed sense of obligation.

Chances are there will be enough of a "lime light" to go around. Family will be all smiles and happy on both days.

Only if you're a certain type of person!

If my sis announced she was getting married 2 months before me I'd just be happy for her and excited for her wedding as well as mine. We are very close though.

@2chocolateoranges puts glasses on

Sorry read wrong year

I agree with your approach, OP. Sounds like you will come to peace with it.

But when you're killing her with kindness, don't be too kind. If you come across something really nice for the wedding, there's no need to share it with her.

I get this totally - we'd had our wedding planned for a while, then my DH's 2 brothers announced they were getting married - one 2 weeks before and the other 6 weeks after our wedding - yup BOTH of them! so all 3 weddings within 2 months of one another. And because both were abroad one had a 'party' the weekend before our wedding because they were coming over for ours anyway so thought it would be great to tag a wedding party for those who couldn't attend their's while they were over. To be fair whilst I thought it was wonderful and a bit funny, it did kind of take my breath away a bit when I first found out (not least of which because hubster had to go to the 'do' the weekend before, right across the country, leaving me with all the last minute appointments and me not being able to go because of the last minute appointments!) Anyway, now many years on its an interesting story to tell people so I can see it differently but yeah, umm its a tough one not to seem like a bridezilla but it's well..... lol!! Oh and we all had our babies within 6 weeks of one another too ;-)

We got married in 2000, so been married 23 years.

This baffles me. Do people actually think wedding guests give such a significant amount of thought to upcoming weddings that they won’t be able to think simultaneously ‘X’s wedding in December’ and ‘Y’s wedding in February’, and that their thought processes will still be grappling with the December wedding two months later?

One summer I had six weddings between May and the end of October without it frazzling my mental processes.

Personally I think she's a selfish bitch to do that. The lime light is gone from your day all focus will be on the closest wedding and people will still be thinkin of hers in the little time yours comes around. I agree with you.

My brother got married about 6 weeks after us, they'd only just met and got engaged very quickly whereas we've been together 10 years. I was a bit miffed but just focused on our wedding (which was much more fun than theirs).

It's 8 weeks before yours with Christmas and NY in between. People will feel you are first wedding in the new year and it's a totally different vibe.
A close friend arranged hers 3 weeks before mine in the summer at last minute. I was a bit like really¿ but truth be told it didn't matter one jot

Reading the thread title and I was inclined to agree. But two small weddings, separated by months and also Christmas and New Year. I think it is fine.

Wasn't yours cancelled in May due to covid if 2020

Ours was 🥲

Twice

OP I get it. We got married in 2016 & my cousin (we have a very close relationship) was getting married in 2017. She had reservations that the 2 weddings would be compared by guests (we
have a HUGE family), but in the end we both had such unique amazing & special days.

we couldn’t of been happier for each other & bringing the family together was what mattered the most. A lot of people will say YABU, but I understand how my cousin felt, hosting her own only a year later. You will have the most amazing day no matter what & each wedding will be remembered for their own merits.

My sister did this. It was 20 years ago now though. I was getting married in the May had booked it months in advance, big Catholic thing, church, country house reception etc. Was so excited. Utterly focussed on ‘the wedding’. Had been dress shopping with her etc. she obv got the bug as she announced in the Nov they had booked theirs for the Feb before our planned May wedding. 3 months notice. I was so upset and felt completely upstaged. She could see no harm and was practically minded they’d gone for a bargain package at a posh venue as it was closing down. In the end I moved our wedding to August of the same year so there was a decent gap for family etc. at the time it was a major issue, lots of tears from me. I felt betrayed to be honest. There is a plot twist….I was far too focussed on my stupid wedding I nearly fell out with her. I only ended up married 15 months then had to leave him as his jealously got even worse and turned abusive. She’s been married 20 years now. I’m now 12 years into my second marriage which was a registry office and party after organised in two months. We’re thankfully still close as I didn’t let it come between us. Could have easily gone Bridezilla at the time. Moral of the story, the wedding is not as important as the marriage itself…. I know how upsetting it feels now but honestly you’re doing the right thing just letting it slide. You have your day she has hers, enjoy them both xx

No I understand how you feel. Me and my partner got engaged ages ago in January and our wedding is booked for May. Both my partners best friends got engaged only a month or so ago and their weddings are now in April and July and ours is sandwiched in the middle and it makes me feel ‘funny’ too. And by that I mean, it’s fine, I get it, people can do whatever they like, and I won’t have any beef , but…. It just kinda makes mine feel that tad bit less special I guess.
Feel how you feel and then put it quickly in a box and forget about it is how I’m going x

OP, I agree with @myfaceismyown that you need to let it wash over you, and have a good laugh about it if there are any more "thunder-stealing" moments.

My SIL was always competing with DH over everything, whereas he just ignored her efforts at oneupmanship.

When we announced our engagement, she announced one about 10 days later, which surprised everyone as she'd only been seeing the guy for a month. She kept asking me if we'd set a date, then when we did (having booked it all), she announced her date for the week before. MIL begged her not to, but she was determined, only she couldn't get booked anywhere. Ended up two months after us. The marriage didn't last the year.

When we announced I was pregnant, she announced an engagement to her next new boyfriend. She then arranged this wedding for the week before my due date, in another town. They weren't happy that DH and I weren't prepared to travel so close to the due date, and even more so when ILs said they would stay here to be around for the birth of the first grandchildren (twins). DC turned up the day before their wedding.

She was pregnant very quickly afterwards and by this time some of their family was taking bets on whether she'd produce triplets, because they knew she always had to trump DH,

I guess the moral of the story is that if she is doing this to upstage you, sit back and see if it all to backfires, and enjoy the entertainment. Others will notice!

If it's a one-off then just be happy for her.

I don't think it really matters;a huge congratulations to you both on your forthcoming weddings;it'll be a lovely positive few months for your family to enjoy these happy happy occasions with two people they love celebrating their respective marriages.

When you have a sibling and his wife who wants the same as you it gets a bit awkward.

we got married, they chose the same venue, wedding was almost identical.
we had a baby, they wanted a baby.
we got a new car, they wanted a new car.
we moved house, they wanted to move house.
so on and so on,

they chose to get their baby baptised just after our baby’s due date( sil didn’t want us stealing her baby’s thunder- her words.)

it gets a bit tiresome.

it may not seem much to you but life at the time seemed like a competition on their behalf, gone no contact and life is so much better.