18 y/o son disputes having to pay keep

Oh and change the locks if he has a key. If you can't do that today just leave a key in the lock on the inside. His key won't work then.

Well done OP. I expect he'll resist and you'll get promises, tears and tantrums, but 100% out he goes to his Grandparents TODAY.

He's taking the piss and he bloody well knows it.

Don't cook for him.
Lock up the snack food.
Don't do his laundry.
If he leaves a mess anywhere in the house, pick it up and deposit the lot on his bed.

Change the wifi password and don't let him have it until he is a contributing member of the household and/or he's done his chores each day. Keep changing it if you have to.

You are right, two jobs in 5 months is not enough. Heck, even 2 jobs per week is probably not enough.

Time for a wake up call. Well done for standing firm.

@TheBarbieEffect Seriously? So if they decide not to leave home and you are retired and they are working full time, this would be acceptable?

Never heard so much rubbish in my life, you are clearly letting you offspring think life is free and they will have no concept of the cost of living, you are not helping them at all in the long run

YADNBU OP. Time to have the confidence to get firm with him. As well as food and energy costs, now he is over 18 I’m thinking that your single persons council tax discount has ended so he needs to cover that too.

Another point is that you need to show your younger DC that this sort of behaviour is unacceptable and has consequences. Do not rely on your DCs watching what your life is like and naturally understanding that they will have this to do. Tbh most teenagers are quite oblivious to it all. You need to spell everything out for them, set firm boundaries and enact consequences for them when they don’t follow the house rules. My DH was ever hopeful that his DCs would ‘know’ how to be adults from just watching him. He’s now realised that approach really didn’t work and is having to deal with the fallout from his DCs who are all in their 20s and still expecting financial support from him.

I generally agree with this bt not in these circumstances. He has been no help when needed so is unlikely to want to contribute in this way either. Take the £20 from him every week on a set day, otherwise there will be consequences! Ask him how he expects to travel etc when he puts in no effort to making some money to be able to afford it. i know you would pay bt he doesnt need to know this & doesnt deserve it. This will all serve him well when he does leave & has to fend for himself. I hope u look after yrself in this difficult time for you, take some evenings away from cooking for him & just dont be there. hes old enough to look after himself occasionally.

£420,000 for a two bed flat. I know cheap as chips.

Very funny. Try a Scottish City

I’m not in the north of England. It’s called saving.

That's absolutely not correct.

My mother in law never charged my sister in law a penny in rent. She lived at home until she was in her 30's and never did get her own home.

On the other hand she never contributed a penny towards dh's university living costs (he got a reduced grant based on their income). We saved for a deposit very early on and overpaid our mortgage.

I am 39 now and paid my parents money every month. I have now for seven years owned my own flat with no mortgage that my husband moved into after my mortgage was paid. Paying rent to my parents never held me back.

@TheBarbieEffect if that works for you fine, but we’re charging ours to live with us if they’re working. It gets them used to paying rent. They have to understand that if they want the heating on at home, around their shifts, we need to cover the cost. I’m keeping it in a separate account, aiming not to touch it but if the energy bills are enormous again, I will have to.

I looked at market rents locally and I’m well under those for full board and bills.

YANBU. But most on MN would keep their ADULT children at home free of charge until 40 if they could. No surprise then we have men in relationships doing nowt and expecting their partner to cover nursery fees.

I feel very sorry for any child brought up this way. It's doing your child no favours whatsoever to bring them up to believe Mum and Dad will always provide while they are living at home - getting them to contribute is a good way to begin to teach them to budget and begin to become independent and responsible.

What an entitled son you have. I loved at home through Uni (full time law degree) and worked 20 hours per week. I paid my parents £200 per month. I whinged at the time but I’m hindsight it was the right thing and still cheap. All my washing got done etc.

Maybe it is time to give him a breakdown of what he is actually costing you, line by line, so he can see £80 is nothing.

@TheBarbieEffect Oh sod off. You’re the epitome of toxic mum friend. We’ve all got one. The friend who has passive aggressive comments on all our decisions and makes us feel inferior. I’m making an assumption you don’t have one of those. There’s a reason; it’s you. You’re only on here to troll other mums and make them feel low in their worst moments. We’ll done you i hope you fall asleep every night feeling so proud of yourself.

OP you’re being very reasonable and your son needs to wake up and smell the cost of living crisis. He’s a loafer who needs to realise the world doesn’t turn if you don’t pay for it. Stop doing his stuff. No laundry, no meals, no housekeeping. Hell soon realise.

Mistake