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Original poster

My boyfriend gets mad if we don’t have sex

211 replies

Poppy23xx · 03/08/2023 01:48

I have been with my partner coming up to 4 years, are sex life used to be really good multiple times daily. Obviously a lot has changed and life has got much busier over the years and due to this we tend to have sex around 3-4 times a week mostly due to busy life’s being tired and I’ve been prescribed 150mg of sertraline.

I haven’t been on any medication for a few days due to running out and waiting on my prescription due to this I’ve been feeling unwell. I’ve been feeling crappy for the past two days, today I haven’t been able get out of bed. As soon as he gets home from work he just wants my absolute attention he has to be constantly in my space which I don’t mind but when I’m not we’ll and I’m sweating one minute and cold the next the last thing I want to be doing is being cuddled. after about an hour of cuddling I moved away to sit up because I felt sick and I told him I just need my own space for a minute he then said to me that I never show him any intimacy I never let him touch me that I never touch him that we never do anything. I told him that we had literally been cuddling and I needed some space as i feel Ill and he laughed at me like yeah okay then you feel ill.

so after a couple of hours doing our own thing we was chilling again cuddling and watching tv. He’s then trying to make a move on me sexually which I told him I don’t want to do as I do not feel well. He then proceeded to push me of him he told me that im boring that I never want to do anything. He said that he is a man and a man has needs, he went on to accuse me of cheating and fucking someone else and told me that he is leaving tomorrow to find someone who’ll have sex with him when ever he wants.

well I got up out of bed and went downstairs to sleep on the sofa, he was continuing to shout me and kept coming downstairs waking me up. I told him I wanted to be left alone and he just kept coming in and turning the lights off. He makes a lot of jokes about our sex life to people he’ll say things like “you must be mad if you think I get touched” , “ mines not been used in ages”. But I really don’t understand because it’s not like we don’t ever have sex we do have sex. I’ll name the days when we last had sex and he’ll tell me that I’m lying and it’s been longer than that.

i Really don’t know what to do should I be having more sex with him. I do try to as much as I can but I am tired a lot of the time

OP posts:
Hibiscrubbed · 03/08/2023 07:07

He should be in prison. What the fuck?

He is an abusive, dangerous piece of shit.

anon2022anon · 03/08/2023 07:07

Can you just open this thread as if it was a stranger posting it, and read every single post that you've put up? As if it's not you that has written them, but someone else?

This is horrifying. I actually believe there's a chance that he's going to move to sexually assaulting you if you decide you don't want sex. Are you on contraception? Please, please, please make sure it's something he can't interfere with, like the injection, coil, rod.

@Poppy23xx you really, really need to leave, and this time you need to be really strong, block him on everything, and phone the police if he turns up. He will only get worse if you stay with him. If he threatens suicide, call an ambulance for him, and let them deal with it. Please just go to your mum's, and think about changing all the locks at your house.

Donotshushme · 03/08/2023 07:02

Poppy23xx · 03/08/2023 01:58

I do feel really really crap I feel like I’m less of a woman because I can’t fulfill his needs but I am really struggling at the moment especially with my mental health I’m in the process of getting a medication change I’ve been so so depressed and he doesn’t even care. He’s more bothered about the sex, I do really want to go but I don’t even know where I would begin I have next to no one I depend on him for everything x

I wonder how fast your mental health would improve if you weren't living with a sex pest.

CaramelMac · 03/08/2023 07:02

Having sex multiple times a day is not normal, even multiple times a week, every week isn’t normal. If you don’t want to have sex that’s normal, that’s ok, you don’t need an excuse.

Leave by whatever means possible, he sounds awful and you’ll never be happy with a man like this, if he threatens suicide then let him, he’s an adult he’s not your responsibility.

WeeWillyWinkie9 · 03/08/2023 06:55

There is the reason for your medication. Get rid of him and your mental health will improve significantly.

Gh12345 · 03/08/2023 06:55

Sorry OP but I think it will probably get worse as the years go on. Very sex focused

blueorblack · 03/08/2023 06:55

I was married to a man like this. Absolutely leave. I feel for you

YukoandHiro · 03/08/2023 06:51

Do not under any circs have children with him

Buffypaws · 03/08/2023 06:50

Kill not kilt obviously

Buffypaws · 03/08/2023 06:50

Yep restraining order. When he breaks it call police. My uncle went to prison for breaking his even though his daughter asked him to go round. He won’t kilt himself but if he does the world will be a better place.

LilyPark · 03/08/2023 06:49

Sorry only just read full thread. The police are extremely used to dealing with stuff like this and will sort it out. I am so sorry you have been going through this.

Totalwasteofpaper · 03/08/2023 06:49

What have i read?
Close your windows and leave them closed and break up with hom.

No wonder you are on sertraline... you may find you dont need it when he is gone

OvertiredandConfused · 03/08/2023 06:48

Poppy23xx · 03/08/2023 02:10

I have my own place where he stays but he refuses to leave when I ask and when we have broken up previously he has climbed into my windows and harassed me so if I was to break up I would need to move but at the moment I can’t afford anywhere as I am out of work.

As others have said, call the police. They will take it seriously and help. Do it every time. He’ll get the message. Get a restraining order of necessary.

And if he threatens suicide, call them for a welfare check. Every time. I’ll bet big money it’s a control issue and he’ll stop. If he means it, he’ll get professional help. He’s not your responsibility

NewCracker · 03/08/2023 06:48

This is abusive behaviour! Get out!

LilyPark · 03/08/2023 06:47

It's so sad to me that you would even ask if you should be having more sex with him. It's completely obvious that you should end it immediately, preferably yesterday. He sounds like a completely selfish, very unpleasant individual - you deserve much much much better.

fedup2010 · 03/08/2023 06:45

Please please please leave him. He sounds awful. You are young. Life can be so much better. Change the locks on the door, call the police if he tries to break in... Just re read your own posts...its shocking what you have put up with because of that man.

KTSl1964 · 03/08/2023 06:44

Report this fucker to the police - what an abusive bully. I feel for you. I’m sorry you’re isolated. If he threatens suicide call an ambulance. You have a right to have sex when YOU want. Four times a week is a lot!!! He’s possible a sex addict - that’s not your concern - you need to focus on you and how YOU feel - contact womens aid - look up the freedom programme.
If you came from a dysfunction family look up Adult Children of Alcoholics AND dysfunctional families. You need to separate from him - if he harasses you call the police - counselling too via your GP or your local MIND.
focus on your mental well being and getting the right meds for you - no wonder you need them with that turd being in your life.
🌺🌺

jeaux90 · 03/08/2023 06:41

I am willing to bet your mental health will improve when your life starts without him in it.

He is abusive OP and you deserve so much better.

Please bin him off and have a happy life.

HoppingPavlova · 03/08/2023 06:39

and told me that he is leaving tomorrow to find someone who’ll have sex with him when ever he wants

well, that is indeed excellent news. Only a day and you will be free from this disgraceful excuse for a human. Saves you binning him.

Daffodilsandtuplips · 03/08/2023 06:39

Show him the door, push him through it and lock it behind him. He’s a sex pest.

Howdoyouknowwhitney · 03/08/2023 06:38

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MariaVT65 · 03/08/2023 06:38

This is an abusive relationship, please call Women’s Aid.

C1N1C · 03/08/2023 06:36

You have sex than most people, even during your off weeks!

Normally I'd try to see his side, but there is no 'his side' here. He's an abusive child.

FlamingYam · 03/08/2023 06:30

Poppy23xx · 03/08/2023 01:58

I do feel really really crap I feel like I’m less of a woman because I can’t fulfill his needs but I am really struggling at the moment especially with my mental health I’m in the process of getting a medication change I’ve been so so depressed and he doesn’t even care. He’s more bothered about the sex, I do really want to go but I don’t even know where I would begin I have next to no one I depend on him for everything x

I bet he's not feeling less of a man because he has the maturity of a baby. Fuck this worm of a man. He's an absolute waste. 16 year olds threaten suicide and talk about needs they can't control. And even then it's only the shitty 16 year olds.

What will happen when you're recovering from having a baby and don't want sex?

He needs to grow up and you need to get out.

Hope you feel better soon.

Tangelablue · 03/08/2023 06:26

Go to your mum's, let him know it is over and he needs to move out. If he turns up at mum's call the police. Let them know the extent of the coercive control. Contact NCDV who will be able to support you with a non molestation order. If he threatens suicide let the police know, they can do a welfare check. The police in my area pass on the details of the victim to the local domestic abuse charity so they can offer support.
I'm sorry you are going through this, you deserve better. X