My boyfriend gets mad if we don’t have sex

Rip the bandaid off love, life will improve dramatically.

You are in such an abusive relationship. You are not a lesser woman if you don’t want sex. In fact completely the opposite and you should leave him. Contact Women’s Aid. They are used to this.

@Poppy23xx - he sounds suffocating. He’s a sex pest and stifling you. You’re in an abusive relationship. I think it’s very likely that your mental health will improve when you’re no longer with him.

No adult should ever depend fully on another adult. You can rebuild your life without him in it. Start to do so now. Move back in with your mum, claim benefits, get a job which suits you. Do what you need to do because life with this man will destroy you.

If he threatens suicide (and by the way, that’s what abusers do), ring the police to carry out a welfare check. If he comes and bangs on the door to be let in, call the police. His behaviour is criminal behaviour and you need to be free of him.

told me that he is leaving tomorrow to find someone who’ll have sex with him when ever he wants

well there's your problem solved! Jesus what an arsehole. You deserve so much better

OP he doesn’t have ‘needs’, they are desires. He isn’t going to keel over if he doesn’t have sex.

Also, he sounds completely horrible. Find someone who appreciates you, this is not normal behaviour at all.

There's nothing you've done to deserve his abuse. It's not your fault.

Please contact Women's Aid for support. You can also take to a pharmacist, GP, police officer or your local council/housing association for help.

When you are safe please consider completing the Freedom Programme: https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

A man has needs! Twat. Does he not know that women have needs too? A ridiculous argument. He is not a good person and would go as far as saying he is abusive in his behaviour towards you. Please leave him.

Dump him.

Leave. When he comes round crying suicide tell him to go to the go for help and shut the door

what he is doing is abuse. He is putting himself first all the time, he does not care about you

Speak to your local domestic abuse service - his breaking in, his verbal insults, his sexual demands and refusing to let you rest - it’s abuse. He’s not a man, he’s immature and narcissistic and he will escalate this behaviour. You don’t have a future with someone like this, certainly not a happy one.

Leave him. My ex threatened suicide. Messaged me to say he was doing it then turned his phone off. Rang police they went round and as they were trying to break the door down he opened it. It's all mouth. His life is not your responsibility. You deserve so much more than this crap.

DSis's ex used to threaten suicide if she left him. He's still alive and horrible five years after she did in fact leave him, and left her alone after she reported him to the police.

Bloody hell op. Don't wait to call the police. Call them now and tell them everything. He's full on.

There is zero chance of you having a happy life with this man. The only question is how much of your life (and fertile years) you allow him to waste. That’s time you could be spending finding your actual future husband.

A man who loved you would care when you are ill, not harass you. A man who loved you wouod not cheat. A man who loved you would accept your decisions, even if that’s to break up, not emotionally blackmail you with threats of suicide and break into your home!! This man does not love you, he just likes controlling you, fucking you and bullying you.

(And, most couples do not have sex 4 times a week!)

How to end it practically I’m unsure, in your situation I’d probably book him a hotel room, move his stuff in there while he’s at work, change the locks and go on holiday / to stay with friends, then send him an email with what I had done and that we were never meeting again. Then block him on everything.

You need to tell the police all of this. You need to be rid of this cock lodger for once and for all!!!

Just adding my voice to the others.

If at any point he tells you that he is suicidal then ring 999 and let them know. Every single time.

He will either get the help he needs, or will stop doing it. Absolutely no need for you to get involved.

Please leave this awful person!

He is vile!

Get rid of him NOW. "Men have needs" is a fucking lie. They have desires, wants, lusts. Nobody needs sexual intercourse. This piece of shit scrote is an abuser and will rape you (if he hasn't done so already).

This is quite horrific to read. What ever you do please don't get pregnant by this twatwaffle or you be tied to him for life in one way or another.
Leave him and if he doesn't leave you alone, get a harassment order out against him.
Do you have friend/family support?

I would agree with him that you can't fulfill his needs so you're letting him go & find someone who wants sex multiple times daily.
Turn it back on him - he's right, you should definitely break up & then RUN.

If he threatens you, your family or his own life, CALL THE POLICE. Don't feel guilty - he needs professional help and this is a way for him to get it.

Speak to women's Aid today.
Speak to your mum, your friends...
You're going to need help & support to do this.

This is horrible abusive behaviour

He does not love or care for you

I bet your depression would lift when you leave him

He is an abusive, cheating, sex pest. There is no question that you need to end this. Go back to your mums and tell him that if he turns up at your mum's you will call the police. Then call the police. Every. Single. Time. He threatens to commit suicide to emotionally manipulate you, it is just more abuse. You cannot be responsible for his mental health even if he was genuinely suicidal which I very much doubt. He's just an abusive arsehole.

Also I think he took your birth certificate. It will new a way to control you. No passport - no job, no travel.

Agree this is abusive. It's sad you have been putting up with this. Please please get rid of him by any means, including involving the police. You are 100% entitled to speak to women's aid as well.

You deserve peace. Do not put everyone else's peace before your own. You can not tolerate this for the rest of your life.

He's a monster.

What happened there? I certainly didn't intend to post yet!

feel like I’m less of a woman because I can’t fulfill his needs
You aren't obliged to 'fulfil needs' for any man. At all. Ever. Sex isn't about you fulfilling his needs. It's about two people sharing pleasure. Both of them, willingly, when they really want to. You are entitled to that. You aren't his sex doll.
i Really don’t know what to do
Split from him, today, forever.
Get some therapy to boost your self esteem.
should I be having more sex with him.
Absolutely not. That bastard doesn't deserve to have sex with anyone.
Every time I do try to leave him he’ll come round to my house and harass me or cry suicide.
If he comes round, don't answer or tell him to go.
If harasses, call the police.
If he says he's suicidal, ignore it. That's his choice, it's not down to you. A man threw himself under a train and died - his mother told everyone it was my fault. I hardly knew him. It can be upsetting. But don't waste your life on someone who is so manipulating.
I feel so ashamed the amount of things that I’ve put up with he cheated on me twice
Don't be ashamed. Leave shame behind. To quote Bowie 'The shame was on the other side.' You did then what you could do then. Now can be different.
I did actually leave him. I ended up back at my mums house
Good. Will she have you back? If so, go.
I left him in charge of my birth certificate and his birth certificate for sending our passports for recorded delievery. My documents were all lost but they have received him so at the moment I have no birth certificate
Go to your mum's and sort this out from there.

Don't worry about the past. You are entitled to a better future - take it. Good luck.