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Original poster

To think my DM is very unpractical?

106 replies

mrlistersgelfbride · 16/06/2023 19:43

I know I'm being unreasonable and probably horrible but my DM can't do anything practical.

A few examples: she can't open a car boot no matter how many times I show her. I gave her a pack of baby wipes to wipe DDs face for me and she said she couldn't open them 😐 I've shown her before and she can't do it.
She can't clip a car seat, I've shown her loads of times. Said she never did it with me and my brother. She can't work a coffee machine, air fryer or even a different oven even after being shown. If she puts something in the oven it has to have an alarm as she'll forget otherwise that's it's there.
She put a drink for DD in her bag with no lid and obviously it tipped up and soaked everything in the bag. I warned her beforehand but she said she didn't think it would tip up.
I asked her to watch DD's baked beans today whilst I did something else and I found her stirring them with the metal spoon I had put on the side (for DD to eat them with once cooked) . There are wooden spoons in the drawer, she knows and she's been to the house hundreds of times. I can't be sure but I think she was going to give DD the hot metal spoon, which she placed back on the plate, I checked it before I served DDs tea and nearly burnt my hand.
She said she doesn't know how I do things. Surely making beans is the same in every house?
I could do with tips on how to deal with it nicely as it's really getting to me. I'm certainly not the world's most practical person but I can't believe how she struggles with simple tasks.
She's not senile by the way, she's only mid 60s and when I think about it she's always been similar.

For context, we don't see my parents much as they are often busy and like to be left to themselves. Today was a rarity, she doesn't see DD that much. I'm starting to think we should distance ourselves, I know I sound horrible but I'm starting to loose my temper with her about these kind of things and I feel bad. She's a lovely person but I find this hard to comprehend.
How do I deal with it ..does this sound familiar to anyone?

OP posts:
Wenfy · 16/06/2023 19:58

People with arthritis in their hands often can’t open packets of wipes or clip car seats. My sil can’t even press buttons on machinery hard enough. So it’s possible she’s got an illness and doesn’t want to tell you. As for metal spoons / drinks ups - those things happen and even I’ve made that mistake when my mind has been elsewhere.

Triflenot · 16/06/2023 19:58

Was she like this when you were growing up?
My Mum was a bit like this, and I realised she’d always had her own way of doing things ( as we all do) but she was very resistant to change.

StarryNightSunnyDays · 16/06/2023 19:57

I ended up pulling back when I found out that my mother had nearly let my young daughter drown and didn't even tell me about it. Another woman waded into the sea fully clothed to pull my daughter out of the riptide, while my mother apparently sat on the beach a few metres away oblivious to it happening.

I realised then that regardless of her motives, she wasn't safe with my DC. They were far, far more precious to me than her and whatever the fuck passes for what goes on in her head.

I feel guilty it took something that big to make me realise that she wasn't safe.

Watchinghurling · 16/06/2023 19:54

Impractical

HeadNorth · 16/06/2023 19:53

It sounds like strategic incompetence to me. She doesn’t want to help you out so makes sure she is utterly useless when asked to do anything. If she prefers to be left to herself then leave her to it.

Neolara · 16/06/2023 19:49

Does she have learning difficulties? Or is it just practical things she has problems with?

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