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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it just my husband who can't...

132 replies

Silverbook · 09/04/2023 11:37

plan or organise anything. Literally anything. It's so f@cking infuriating. I plan and organise everything - house/life admin, food, all finances, shopping, DC childcare, holidays, day trips, vet, car, house & garden upkeep etc If it's relevant we both work FT. Financially we contribute equally.

I often wonder what his life would look like if i wasn't here. I asked him once and he said that he's plan things then but why do it when I was able to. Part of me want to just stop but I don't want DC (or me!) to miss out

Overall he is a caring, hands on and hard working dad. I'm not disputing that but he is so unintentionally selfish with his lack of thought it drives me up the wall. I'm actually not even sure it is selfishness, he just seems happy to coast along and have no experiences whereas I really value experiences.

So next weekend I've booked short city break just for me and DC. I am aware of how petty this is but I'm so hacked off with him benefitting from everything.

OP posts:
adulthumanfemalemum · 09/04/2023 11:54

Yours is not the only one, mine is similar. He's good at some stuff eg planning and doing house DIY, cleaning, furniture buying, computers, phones, switching energy supplier etc. But days out and holidays and stuff for the kids and food, he's useless, I do it all. It's occurred to me before now that if I wasn't here the kids wouldn't do any extra curricular activities and would never have an Easter egg hunt or similar. I don't think it's unusual for this to be the case though. I don't really mind as I enjoy doing that stuff and not the house and cleaning stuff.

A little girl I teach lives with just her dad because her mum is dead and when the class talked about Easter egg hunts in the garden she said "there's never been eggs in my garden " 😢

FreddiesTeeth · 09/04/2023 11:52

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 09/04/2023 11:47

U should use full words properly. Y don’t u?

Also U R talking bollocks. OP doesn’t have delusions of grandeur just because she wants to share the mental load.

Just because U R happy 2 B a slave 2 UR Nigel it doesn’t mean other women should.

Show quote history

🤣🤣🤣

Rantypanties · 09/04/2023 11:52

I don’t blame you, my husbands getting progressively worse for this to the point he’ll ask me if he should ‘park there’ when we’re arriving somewhere. He’s the driver! Who would he ask if I wasn’t in the car!!!

I completely understand your frustration and would have done the exact same thing as you.

and @Skybluepinky you sound thick- fucking delusions of grandeur. Do you even know what that means?

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 09/04/2023 11:47

Skybluepinky · 09/04/2023 11:45

U got with him knowing what he was like, and I doubt u would cope with someone who was as organised as u.
The post makes u look like u have delusions of grandeur and that u enjoy moaning.

U should use full words properly. Y don’t u?

Also U R talking bollocks. OP doesn’t have delusions of grandeur just because she wants to share the mental load.

Just because U R happy 2 B a slave 2 UR Nigel it doesn’t mean other women should.

Shoxfordian · 09/04/2023 11:46

He’s not really contributing but it sounds like he never has; not likely to change

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 09/04/2023 11:46

What I always notice with these lazy men is - they manage to hold down good jobs that involve planning. It miraculously can’t plan for dinner (because they have a woman to do it all for them)

Skybluepinky · 09/04/2023 11:45

U got with him knowing what he was like, and I doubt u would cope with someone who was as organised as u.
The post makes u look like u have delusions of grandeur and that u enjoy moaning.