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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to book a gender blood test at 6 weeks?

204 replies

Dorothyspeaks30 · 30/03/2023 22:55

I have 2 daughters who are 3 years apart and I am desperately wishing my third is a boy. I have no pressure around me but I never grew up with brothers so wish my daughters could have a brother. I would be grateful either way and would still be happy to have a girl of course. Now that I’m pregnant, I don’t feel like I can wait until a private scan at 16 weeks and found out about the gender blood test and booked it! I know I probably sound insane but this third baby is most likely my last chance at having another child and I’m truly grateful no matter what.

p.s nobody knows I’m pregnant yet. I have been cramping so part of me wonders if I’ll even make it to 12 weeks! Please be kind, I’m very emotional and just need reassurance or to hear other peoples opinions on doing this.

OP posts:
nahnahnahnahnahnah · 31/03/2023 07:54

Gilm0reGirl · 31/03/2023 07:45

That person wouldn’t be my friend anymore! I’d have put them in their place with some firm boundary reminders and cut contact to a minimum, telling you she was going to watch out for her, actually questioning your parenting!? How utterly rude! The brass on some people. We are expecting our very much wanted second girl and I had a couple of people suggest a boy would have been nice, they got quite the dressing down for it.

OP just a heads up it’s rare but a lady on my due in April group was told it was a girl from her NIPT test when it was actually a boy. She posted a few threads about it if you have a search. I believe she said the earlier you have it done the harder it is to pick up the boy dna so it can come back girl.

Show quote history

Oh, she was cut out from that day on. I don’t take that sort of bullshit from anyone.

underneaththeash · 31/03/2023 07:54

it's actually quite accurate, there's a few studies on here. Looks like around 91% at 6 weeks and 95% at 7 weeks. I preferred knowing the sex of my babies, DH preferred the surprise element. So I found out with DC1 and DC3 and didn't with DC2. I just prefer knowing things in general.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17089442/

Accuracy of fetal gender determination in maternal plasma at 5 and 6 weeks of pregnancy - PubMed

Quantitative real-time PCR and TaqMan MGB probes specific for the detection of fetal gender in maternal plasma starting at 5 weeks of gestation have good sensitivity and excellent specificity.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17089442

BigFatLiar · 31/03/2023 07:54

nobody knows I’m pregnant yet

Surely you've told your husband/partner.

Pipsquiggle · 31/03/2023 07:53

Monkeymonkeymoo · 31/03/2023 05:52

Just to clarify there are 2 different tests (there seems to be a bit of confusion)

-NIPT is primarily a medical screening test done at 10+ weeks. Its main job is to screen for chromosomal abnormalities, but there is an option to also find out the sex.
It tends to be fairly expensive (around £300) but is very accurate.
They are not offered before 10 weeks because there isn’t enough fetal DNA in the mother’s blood to give an accurate result and you risk getting a false negative for the chromosomal abnormalities (because it’s done for medical reasons it’s important that it’s as accurate as possible).

-The ‘sneak peak’’/‘meet your miracle’ etc tests can be done from 6 weeks. They’re only used to find out the sex of the baby. At 6 weeks they may be able to detect some fetal DNA but they are much more likely to give a false result than doing a test at 10 weeks (especially if you get a ‘girl’ result- it just means that they haven’t been able to detect male DNA, but this might just be because the levels aren’t high enough yet).
The ones done in a clinic are more accurate because the ones done at home carry a high risk of contamination or user error.
They tend to be a lot cheaper than NIPT (around £100-150). They won’t give you any information about your baby’s health, they are simply done for ‘fun’ for people who want to find out the sex as early as possible.
If you go on any of the pregnancy forums then you’ll come across lots of women who got a false result from using these sneak peak type tests.

For what it’s worth I don’t think there’s any harm in wanting to find out the sex of your baby as early as possible. I was really excited and really wanted to know (I’m not very patient!)
Personally, if you’ve booked a ‘sneak peak’ or ‘meet your miracle’ type test then I’d save your money and get the NIPT at 10 weeks instead. It’s much more accurate and will also screen for some health problems.

Also, you mentioned in passing that you weren’t sure you’d get to 12 weeks because you’ve been having cramping. I had loads of cramps (some were worse than early labour) and went on to have a totally normal pregnancy and healthy baby. Cramps are really normal in early pregnancy.

@Monkeymonkeymoo thanks for this info.

@Dorothyspeaks30 - this is the best post, please read it

CallintheClownies · 31/03/2023 07:52

Oh and for good measure, when I had my DCs, there was no 'sex' scan available- they weren't accurate. I didnt know the sex of mine till they popped out.

Trixiefirecracker · 31/03/2023 07:51

VWHoliday · 31/03/2023 06:31

Also the gender/sex argument 🙄

It isn’t an argument, it’s the correct terminology. Not tricky. 🙄

CallintheClownies · 31/03/2023 07:50

This is bonkers.

You're coming at this on the basis your daughters 'need' a brother.

What nonsense is this?

I have a brother and can hardly stand him! We are chalk and cheese.

You're living in a fantasy world.

And a test won't change anything.

I know you have said otherwise, but at the same time it could appear you are thinking of a termination if your baby isn't the sex you want.

Briallen · 31/03/2023 07:50

My friend had one of these where you do it at home but it got it wrong

LaDamaDeElche · 31/03/2023 07:48

Precipice · 30/03/2023 23:36

Why do you want your daughters to have a brother???

She explained that in the opening post.

Noicant · 31/03/2023 07:48

Gincan · 31/03/2023 07:46

I can understand the desperation to find out. For me, I found being pregnant a really surreal experience in the first few weeks. Finding out the sex really helped me connect to the baby and get my head around it. I didn't have a preference either way but really felt that I needed to know what I was having. It's absolutely fine to want to know and it doesn't matter if other people don't understand it. That said I would try and wait as long as possible to make sure it's accurate, good luck x

Yeah this was me too. I’m also sure I had ante-natal depression so visualising DD and thinking about names helped me a bit with that.

Gincan · 31/03/2023 07:46

I can understand the desperation to find out. For me, I found being pregnant a really surreal experience in the first few weeks. Finding out the sex really helped me connect to the baby and get my head around it. I didn't have a preference either way but really felt that I needed to know what I was having. It's absolutely fine to want to know and it doesn't matter if other people don't understand it. That said I would try and wait as long as possible to make sure it's accurate, good luck x

GordonBennett345 · 31/03/2023 07:45

Sex, not gender

Gilm0reGirl · 31/03/2023 07:45

nahnahnahnahnahnah · 31/03/2023 07:23

I had the NIPT in my last pregnancy (3rd), for a few reasons, and it was nice to find out the sex rather than wait until a 20 week scan.

One friend lost their shit at me when I told her the sex and started having a go at me as it was a second girl, telling me that she would be watching out for her incase she was treated as a disappointment. I had never, ever expressed an opinion either way and always said I didn’t care about the sex.

I already had a boy and a girl so it didn’t natter in that sense and wouldn’t have mattered anyway, I was more concerned about health but I was the devil for being curious about the sex early.

Some people are really bloody odd about these things and project their own issues onto it.

That person wouldn’t be my friend anymore! I’d have put them in their place with some firm boundary reminders and cut contact to a minimum, telling you she was going to watch out for her, actually questioning your parenting!? How utterly rude! The brass on some people. We are expecting our very much wanted second girl and I had a couple of people suggest a boy would have been nice, they got quite the dressing down for it.

OP just a heads up it’s rare but a lady on my due in April group was told it was a girl from her NIPT test when it was actually a boy. She posted a few threads about it if you have a search. I believe she said the earlier you have it done the harder it is to pick up the boy dna so it can come back girl.

Noicant · 31/03/2023 07:44

I had an NIPT and ticked the sex box I don’t see what the big deal is. I was delighted to find out, tbh it wouldn’t have made a difference if DD had been a boy but it’s good we had a long time as we basically argued about her name for 8 months and only named her in the few days before she was born. OP just wants to know.

Lwrenagain · 31/03/2023 07:43

I found out via sneak peak, had no skin in the game of what sex I wanted, I just wanted to know.
I've had a ectopic where it was quite late on for an ectopic to be discovered.
They asked me did I want to see what they'd recovered from surgery and I said no.
It haunted me not knowing who I was saying bye too, so out of fear of obsessing over that again, I took the test.
Losing a wanted pregnancy can make people go a bit mental, I just desperately wanted to know who I was grieving.
I felt stupid, like I should have known and whilst totally not logical, grief it appears shows very little logic.

I'd only consider doing it if you have no really desire for either sex, there's fb groups of people absolutely crushed with gender disappointment and it breaks my heart. Baby's are so precious 💔

SmallbutMighty1 · 31/03/2023 07:37

I am pregnant with 3rd and wanted a girl as have 2 boys.

I considered the test but decided I want to wait for 12wks - if anything was wrong at that scan it would have been worse I felt. I'd wait. I waited for private scan and did that instead.

ThanksItHasPockets · 31/03/2023 07:27

Sneak peek isn’t very accurate at six weeks and, with kindness, you don’t sound like someone who would just shrug off an incorrect result. Tell yourself you can wait for an NIPT. It’s only another four weeks and with a bit of luck this hyperfixation will have eased by then.

CamoFlamingo · 31/03/2023 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

I agree, the replies on this thread are insane.

OP to be blunt I wouldn't waste money on it this early while there is still a higher chance of miscarriage but it's up to you.

nahnahnahnahnahnah · 31/03/2023 07:23

I had the NIPT in my last pregnancy (3rd), for a few reasons, and it was nice to find out the sex rather than wait until a 20 week scan.

One friend lost their shit at me when I told her the sex and started having a go at me as it was a second girl, telling me that she would be watching out for her incase she was treated as a disappointment. I had never, ever expressed an opinion either way and always said I didn’t care about the sex.

I already had a boy and a girl so it didn’t natter in that sense and wouldn’t have mattered anyway, I was more concerned about health but I was the devil for being curious about the sex early.

Some people are really bloody odd about these things and project their own issues onto it.

Timshortforthalia · 31/03/2023 07:22

Brokendaughter · 31/03/2023 01:23

You can find out what biological sex your child is perhaps, but they haven't been groomed yet into believing in the toxic ideology that surrounds gender so they are still innocent enough not to consider that safeguarding issue.

There is no test for something that is based on feelings rather than biology.

And another one. Slow hand clap for casual use of the word groomed.

shivawn · 31/03/2023 07:18

Is it the Harmony Test? I was told by my GP that it couldn't be done until 10 weeks? I'm also 6 weeks pregnant and plan on doing it when I can, partly for abnormalities because I'm a slightly older mum at 35 and also because it's exciting to find out the sex. I feel like I can picture the baby better once I know if it's a boy or a girl.

Timshortforthalia · 31/03/2023 07:17

L1ttledrummergirl · 30/03/2023 23:48

They may tell you the babies sex, but I'd be amazed if they tell you the gender.

FFS Hmm

anotherscroller · 31/03/2023 07:15

EarringsandLipstick · 31/03/2023 06:41

Great post.

I wasn't aware of the 6 week test. I think the key point is its accuracy. It sounds given you are anxious already, the chances of this test being inaccurate are likely to enhance, rather than reduce, that anxiety.

Good luck with your pregnancy OP

Show quote history

This is the best, most informed, kindest post on this thread.
Op just read this one and move on, I would.

HistoryFanatic · 31/03/2023 07:11

Kittens98 · 31/03/2023 03:12

They're not accurate.

An absolutely bonkers ex friend had it done, was told boy (5th child, all boys) and booked an abortion (yes really, she wanted a girl that badly 😱)

Couldn't go through with it and found out at 16 weeks it was a girl anyways.

They shouldn't be allowed.

WTF. I would have dumped that friend.

anotherscroller · 31/03/2023 07:11

Kittens98 · 31/03/2023 03:12

They're not accurate.

An absolutely bonkers ex friend had it done, was told boy (5th child, all boys) and booked an abortion (yes really, she wanted a girl that badly 😱)

Couldn't go through with it and found out at 16 weeks it was a girl anyways.

They shouldn't be allowed.

😱
should be banned