AIBU to ask for urgent advice, is my neighbour a stalker.

l was stalked by a neighbour, the police were good in how they dealt with it, they arrested him and he was remanded in custody and found guilty at trial.
l cannot understand why the police are reluctant to get involved, it is very concerning. l would try and get as much evidence as you can, write everything down, tell your other neighbours to keep an eye out. l installed security cameras, but you need to be careful as police tried to put camera in my garden but couldn't due to some sort of breach of privacy. Thankfully he has moved now but l have seen him out and about a couple of times and it makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Bright outside motion lights?

As per previous poster I would suggest Paladin

www.paladinservice.co.uk/

Also do they own their house? If it is council or housing association, you could report the behaviour to them as it would be a breach of their tenancy due to being anti social behaviour.

They can then work with you and the police to address the issue and can also look at civil proceedings such as an injunction but wouldn't be at cost to you.

Also if you feel you reports are not being taken seriously by the police you can escalate this through their complaints process or you could contact the local council and ask to speak to their anti social behaviour team and ask them to review the actions taken through the community trigger process.

If you Google community trigger and the name of your local council, you will find more details of how this works I. Your area.

Stalking often escalates and there is a misconception that it is often between those known to each other or have been in a relationship but this is not always the case. Stalking is obsessive behaviour and anyone can be target for any number of reasons. Just because it's a neighbour not a partner doesn't mean you are any less at risk.

@Butterdishtea I'm wrong in your opinion 🤷🏼‍♀️

Merely pointing out facts and information to assist the OP in deciding her next steps as she has already said she will be financially worse off by moving.

No one said he would go to prison, but stalking protection orders are there for a reason. To protect victims of stalking.
And as I said, there are independent witness ie SS, the ice rink etc.
It's life changing for her so please don't minimise

injunction

If she contacts a solicitor (and she may at great personal expense and if she has video evidence get a civil injection which will be next to worthless unless the unlikely event of her recording a major breach) the police will use the civil action as a reason to withdraw. MP will simply ask the police what they're doing and perhaps inform op about a civil injunction. Bottom line this guy won't be going to prison at this level and he won't be stopping either.

You're just wrong justasmall. Perhaps it should be enough (I agree!) but it won't be. Even if it was, the effects would be questionable.

Sorry to disagree but there is more than sufficient there for a charge and conviction.
Stalking is not just for domestic abuse cases, indeed 50% of reported offences are not.
The poster is living in fear of this man and it's affecting her life.
He is making multiple calls to agencies about her which seems to be an escalation.

It is OP decision what she chooses to do and I am merely pointing out there are other places where she can get support from.

It is a crime of stalking and should be recorded as such. I suspect it's been written off by the cops as a neighbour dispute which it isn't

I would certainly contact the police again. If they fail to act you can lodge a complaint. You can also contact your MP. I would also advise contacting a solicitor who deals with harassment, and/or the CAB. Frankly, the more noise you make the more likely the police are to act.

Collect all evidence. Look at getting CCTV around your property, and floodlights. Make it an unattractive proposition for him.

Justasmallgless

Please don't encourage the poster to stay and fight her corner. There is a lot of talk about the evils of stalking but the reality is that a great deal of stalking is tolerated before it becomes something to press charges about (the op isn't near even if you think she should be) and even if convicted it's highly unlikely to be an effective deterrent with truly negative consequences. The charity you mentioned can't do much. There are women out there living in fear of their lives due to stalking exes and charities like this are more for them.

Another one echoing that I would probably move, it sounds very stressful for you all and I don't think this is something that will go away.

This is absolutely not acceptable by the police and they have not recognised it as stalking rather than a neighbour dispute.
Fixated
Obsessive
Unwanted
Repeated

The fact that SS are now treating it as a malicious complaint should raise warning flags for the police.

Paladin offer stalking advocacy services and will stick up for you with the police.
Stalking protection orders are available
The fact your behaviour has changed and it's affecting your MH cannot go on.
Please please seek help

Also the fact that he is savy re police and social services show that he's not the type who will be scared off and go back in his box if a light is shone on him. He's happy to lie, scheme deviously, play a game and he's obsessive. He's not going to stop. We don't have a legal system that can declaw him unless you're famous, he doesn't live next door and he's doing things that a judge would find criminal. This low level string of coincidences, loitering and the odd moment of intemperate language from a neighbour is never going to be seen for what it really is by the eyes of the law. It's not fair but you have to go because your presence is like oxygen for an addiction to him. If you're feeling like you need urgent help, it's rattling you to the point that you're desperate. Ok, that's bad. Fast forward and consider how you'll feel in exactly the same circumstances (but with a longer harassment diary) in twenty weeks. Because you will get there if you don't make a choice to leave.

Another one saying move. You absolutely shouldn't have to but unless you can get the police to offer some actual support there aren't many other options.

How old are your children, are they at the age of leaving/arriving home alone? If not you need to be away before that stage.

You need to tell your husband the extent of it, if you're worried he's going to go in all guns blazing, tell him when you're not at home.
Then you both need to speak to the police
It's sounds like you are really suffering. I hope the SL stalking line can offer you some good advice.
You are downplaying his behaviour as a protection mechanism which is entirely understandable.

We had this and we had to move, losing out financially but it was necessary. The police won't help you. An injunction is highly unlikely to help you because the threshold for a breach is so high, it's easy for him to make your lives hell without technically falling foul of it. There is no quick fix, I promise. The only thing you can do is sell up and hope you can get out of there before you start to become emotionally unwell. This will take a toll on your children's health and safety too. Honestly you have to leave.

You need to tell your husband but before you tell him brief him that he's going to be angry but he needs to think smart and not go and balls it up. Maybe if he has a brother, cousin or close friend get them round when you tell him so they can stop him doing anything rash.

The police saw straight through this but he insisted they came round for a chat which they did. The police gave us advice on how to deal with him but said it’s best not to aggravate the situation by reporting him formally and we should try and keep the peace.

FFS he's harassing you and the Police clearly recognise this but popped round to placate him and whilst the were there suggested you should try to keep the peace.

I'm furious for you and would make a formal complaint against your neighbour and the police if they continue to be absolutely fucking useless. Social Services have notified you not because they think they need to be involved but to make sure you have a complete record of his harassment.

I think you need to make a formal complaint to the Police about your neighbour and find out what your options are WRT legal action to make him stop. You may need an assertive friend to help advocate for you if you feel the police are brushing you off.

I'm really sorry you are being let down so badly by the police. Make no mistake, whatever they say they are being useless. Probably too busy on Twitter looking for thought criminals to harass.

What do you mean you haven't told your husband the extent of it?? It's the first thing I'd have done???

You shouldn't 'take matters into your own hands' or ask a husband/friend to go and threaten him. Don't give this man ammunition to use against you with the police.

If you want some good advice you could also listen to the podcast called 'the followers'.

I would say something to the wife, it could be she doesn't know.
Though in all honesty I would look to move. I couldn't live my life next to someone who kept doing that

Wtf?? You're meant to put up with his shit behaviour not to upset him? What about you being upset? Honestly, that's shit advice from the police.

Keep all evidence. Contact a charity that helps victims of stalking if the police are still useless.