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Original poster

Husbands Farting and What to Do

162 replies

CatchTheCulprit · 04/07/2020 23:41

I have reached the end of my tether and find my Husband's farting repulsive. I have moaned and nagged and begged him to stop forcing one out as I find it revolting. He finds it funny. The state of his pants and shorts tell the tale and the other week he farted and followed through on the sofa. I know farting is a natural bodily function but FFS enough is enough. I don't know what to do to get through to him that this is just not on anymore.
Has he no respect? Is this the way he's been brought up or does he simply not care about my feelings? And don't ask me about cleaning the skid marks off the toilet every day. What the fuck do I do?

OP posts:
Skysblue · 05/07/2020 23:22

Ugh. What everybody else said. Just wanted to add that stuff like gluten intolerance can cause frequent farting. Maybe buy him a load of gluten free food and tellhim you’re trying to help with his toilet problems.

Boredinthehouse · 05/07/2020 22:10

It’s all shits and giggles until someone shits and giggles

goose1964 · 05/07/2020 22:02

Skid marks on the loo means there's a lack of fibre in his diet, does he eat enough fruit and veg and drink enough water?

CityCommuter · 05/07/2020 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Russellbrandshair · 05/07/2020 21:17

Urgh OP no wonder you don’t feel attracted to him. Wtf is wrong with him? I can’t stand people who find farting hilarious, it’s such base pathetic humour.
Regarding the skid marks etc well that’s even worse, he’s a grown man who can’t sort out the most basic level of hygiene? I couldn’t stay with him, it would make me drier than the Sahara.

ErrmWTAF · 05/07/2020 21:16

Haven't RTFT yet, but my ex was perfectly capable of suppressing/minimising his farts, belches, etc, when his mother came to visit.

Btw: follow-through - gaaaahhh! No matter the circumstances, the offender does the cleaning-up (or, in the case of true illness, Owes The Other Guy Biggie-Style).

Original poster
CatchTheCulprit · 05/07/2020 21:13

An no I'm not sleeping with him. I'm in the back bedroom and haven't had sex for about 4 months now. I really do feel sick at the thought of 'sleeping' with him in any shape or form.

OP posts:
Original poster
CatchTheCulprit · 05/07/2020 21:11

Everything I have written is true unfortunately. Jut to clarify - he doesn't actually deliberately do a proper poo on the sofa it's farting and following through with runny stuff. I feel awful posting this and I don't mind if Mumsnet HQ want to go back through my posting history and clarify that I am not a Poo Troll. Yes there are constant skid marks in his pants and down the toilet. I've mentioned that he gives me the 'Ick' factor and I've told him I hate him farting all the time. It just doesn't seem to bother him although deep down it must do? But then I guess if it did bother him then he'd try to stop.

OP posts:
Khadernawazkhan · 05/07/2020 20:29

Is he getting any, OP? I hope not. Vile.

Someone1987 · 05/07/2020 20:12

OP, I feel really sorry for you. That has made my stomach turn.

CityCommuter · 05/07/2020 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 05/07/2020 19:50

@BlodwynBludd

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and.shits.
That did make me lol
Riv12345 · 05/07/2020 19:43

My hubby is cracking up when I read this thread to him

Dnt get any ideas I thought

Such a turn off when they pop!!

Reminds me of a fat lorry driver farting

Absolutely repulsive

BlodwynBludd · 05/07/2020 19:24

It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and.shits.

Wearywithteens · 05/07/2020 19:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

WellDoneBridge · 05/07/2020 19:24

Omfg this can't be a real post?

OrchidJewel · 05/07/2020 19:23

Disgusting behaviour. When he did that on the sofa what did you do/say? Enough is enough now I'd say. Have you a spare room?

TheVoiceOfReasonableness · 05/07/2020 19:17

I thought I was badly off. DH blows off (though not in front of the children).

Usually there’s no smell but occasionally there is. He says it hurts to keep it in and that when he’s at work or at a work dinner he’s often in agony until he can get to a toilet and release the trapped wind.

I think that’s a man thing, but it sounds like your DH has an extreme version of it. His behaviour around what is basically soiling himself is odd though.

Maybe he thinks it’s funny. I remember a lot of boys at school seemed to think that bodily functions were hilarious and loved to ask us (or rather shout at us in front of groups of their friends) if we were on our periods, if we had tampons in or if we were wearing a pad.

The other boys would all burst into howls of laughter. We girls just couldn’t understand it. They would also be making jokes about poo all the time. Maybe DH just hasn’t grown up?

Auridon4life · 05/07/2020 19:10

I can't even.

Wbeezer · 05/07/2020 19:02

Sex and laundry strike until he alters his behaviour.

MadameMeursault · 05/07/2020 18:55

I apologise OP I’d had a few drinks and it did sound a bit odd to post about this at that time on a Saturday night. It does sound horrible though, I couldn’t put up with it. It made me feel sick what you said about having to clean the loo. He isn’t showing you any respect I’m afraid. He would have to change or go if he was my DH.

HowzAboutThisThen · 05/07/2020 18:33

Me too @CharityDingle.

Crying real tears? what the hell is so funny @Glitteryone? A man sharting, leaving poo on toilet seats and soiling his pants? Ha bloddy ha Hmm

CharityDingle · 05/07/2020 18:06

@Glitteryone

I’m crying actual tears at this!!!!

Sorry OP I know it’s not funny for you.

Reading your comments about his mum and dad farting on your sofa too mid conversation, I suspect it’s just how he’s been brought up.

You need to tell him how it makes you feel and if he’s not willing to change you need to either put up with it or divorce him.

I'm genuinely puzzled that someone finds this funny. A grown man soiling himself Confused .

OP, nothing much to add but I certainly wouldn't be cleaning up after him. I would find him repulsive, tbh.

CodenameVillanelle · 05/07/2020 17:59

You married him knowing he shits his pants and finds it funny?!

I wouldn't live with someone like this. No way. If that meant divorce then so be it.

user1493494961 · 05/07/2020 17:57

Chuck his pants in the bin, he might stop if he's in danger of running out of pants.

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