Is a wedding day worth it?

No its not we spent a huge amount caused no end of stress and worry. I did not enjoy the day at all invited random family and parents friends through pressure.
I do have some beautiful pictures and we are still together. Having said that I was the only GC my DG saw get married (church so big fuss) she loved it my memories of her on that day are very special now she has passed.
Go for a small ceremony big party lovely extra special honeymoon for you. Oh and don't feed people 😂

My friends had a big wedding - big enough that I flew back to the UK for it. All our shared friends were there, and it was absolutely wonderful. We all went and stayed at a stately home together. It was probably the last time we've all got together like that.

That was 20 years ago. My friend is now dying of cancer, and I'm thinking how wonderful that weekend was, and how lovely it was to see all of those people together.

I wonder if he's looking back on it and wishing they'd spent less, or if he's quite pleased to have such a lovely memory.

No it's not. The only thing that is important is you and your FP saying I do after someone has read out a paragraph. Everything else is just window dressing.

Having done a very lavish wedding (ex-FIL very well off) and subsequently gotten divorced, I will never advise spending much more than is strictly necessary, and will not contribute excessive amounts for my own children's weddings. I will happily put the equivalent amount into a deposit for a home (which is what I wish we had done now, as it would have saved a lot of the hassle which contributed to the divorce) at a time when they require it.

Have you been to NYC before?

Yes, totally worth every penny, still the best day of my life. I was very fortunate though and my parents paid for it, I think most people enjoy their wedding and I don’t know of anybody who regrets a big ceremony but I do know a few who regret not having a big wedding.

What time are you getting there Friday? You need the extended license for the UK. If you get yourselves over to City Hall Friday to file the paperwork, having done it online before you go you could then do it Monday and all the paperwork in the afternoon if you got there early Monday morning.

I decided not to get married, or have a wedding, and it doesn’t make me feel sad. I still might do it for inheritance tax reasons and it’d be a party celebrating being together however many years, rather than a promise to spend those years. I like it better that way round, and I wouldn’t mind spending a bit later on toward the end of my career and when I have more disposable income.

@M0nsterpumpk1n we really want to do this we go in a few weeks but I feel like because we're only there Friday -Tuesday it's too rushed 😥

We were incredibly lucky to have help from my husbands parents and a bit off my mum so I think in total we paid 5k

We absolutely fell in love with the venue, could both imagine getting married there and choose the cheapest date/month
My dress was too expensive new so I got it new unused off ebay and paid alterations to get it taken in 3 sizes but ended up lovely..

The day was definitely worth it to us, much more so as our daughter was there and still talks about it now and loves the photos

In hindsight.. I'd not invite uncles/aunts we aren't close to and not in touch with but that's the common parents inviting on our behalf etc etc
Neither of our families would have been happy had we done it smaller which I'd have still loved but it was a wonderful day

It's not worth borrowing over, or getting in debt and it's the marriage that counts not a wedding day.. but you can have your dream day doing things cheaper or a bit later on when you have more savings

@Sparklingbrook

Sorry, I'm getting confused (!) I thought I'd quoted cptartapp in my post.

I know what you mean about people not being with us any more. I was looking through our wedding pics the other day and, while it did make me smile, it was quite sad in some ways.

I would be appalled if my dcs had expensive weddings and certainly wouldn't contribute

But would you if they had cheap weddings?

@ConFusion360, sorry if I misunderstood, I guess you were referring to keeping in touch with people?
Five of our 18 are no longer with us but we see the others regularly.

That said if I was to get married now I would have trouble choosing just 18 as our life has really changed since.

I certainly never dreamt of my wed ding day since I was a little girl!. Got married at 35...11 guests. Cost £500.
2nd time my dh and I went away on our own. No one else there.
I would be appalled if my dcs had expensive weddings and certainly wouldn't contribute.

Nope.

Yes it was worth it !! Most wonderful day ever

The only thing I regret is not being able to eat the amazing food as was so much adrenaline in my body !

We were married 10 years ago and I would do it all again tomorrow.

We had 65 of our nearest and dearest at a lovely venue that we all thoroughly enjoyed.

I would do it again because I have absolutely no doubt in each other. This is it.

It cost approximately 12-13k and left us without debt.

Do what feels right and doesn’t leave you feeling deflated. X

I was lucky enough to have mine paid for by a very generous parent, so it was definitely worth it for me

$35

60 people is quite a big wedding and not at all 'sad'

Just as well my sad comment wasn't referring to the size of the wedding then!

I don’t think so. Each to their own but I just don’t get it. I do understand that we all differ though and that what would be my idea of hell and a waste of money would make others happy.

We got married in City Hall NYC with our teens. 4 mins in shorts,done and dusted. Running round Manhattan in the heat to sort paperwork after before offices shut, grabbing a flower from a stall, kind people who helped us,people watching other couples and the lovely meal after made it a day I’ll never forget. I’m guessing others would feel cheated though.

Ours was so worth it. Cost just over £9k in March this year. We got married in an old 1920s cinema in our city, around 120 guest, pie and mash for food and a big old party. It was honestly the best day and I'm constantly saying to my husband how I want to do it all over again just to take it all in. We wouldn't do anything differently and loads of guests commented on how unusual it was.
We both didn't want a 'weddingy' wedding if that makes sense, so it was completely different and personal and very 'us'. I'd do it again in a heartbeat

The trick is not to spend lots of money. The trick is to make it personal to you. It's a big party and a big dress at the end of the day. It's not necessary to have a sit down meal, three piece band and all the trimmings. Grab a marquee and get a local chip van to turn up. Get married on the beach or in the woods. Spend the money on a glamorous elopement instead! Honestly, the more you stray from the wedding day template, the more fun you will have.

We spent 4.5k, with over 80 guests. Some of that was down to family pressure but I still got the day I wanted and I look back fondly on it. I also got married in red and the dress has seen two outings as a normal ballgown since then!

60 people is quite a big wedding and not at all 'sad'. We had 18 people. It was great.