Is a wedding day worth it?

Honeymoon was worth every penny, wish we'd spent all the money on that

I only spent 5k on my wedding, and with hindsight I'd probably spend less if I was to marry DH again. It was a lovely day, but We went traditional and parts just didn't fit us. E.g. We had a disco, but our families And friends were probably better suited to tea and chatting.

My SIL will be getting married at 36 (next year) and will have spent 2 years planning for it and it’s going to cost about £10k. They’re in their first little flat and have made it clear they want kids. I think they are crazy to:

• waste 2 years when they could be trying for a baby
• throw away money they could spend on their home or use as a buffer if they do become parents.

You can have a really lovely day without spending crazy money just to show off. A high street dress (Phase 8 have gorgeous ones), minimal flowers/decorations etc in the church, normal taxis, buffet food etc etc. None of the stuff people get carried away with spending on is worth it, but a nice day with people who want to celebrate with you, definitely is.

We got married abroad with 10 or so close family guests. It cost us around 6k including a ten day holiday, definitely better than 25k for 12 hours!

@WhatsInAName19 I totally agree with you, it depends on family size. 16 siblings across two families meant a guest list of 175 at the minimum. We spent £18k back in 2005, (equivalent to £27k now), but we didn't get into debt for it, and already had a property. As for the people suggesting 'putting the money towards paying off your mortgage' - Christ almighty, couldn't imagine anything more dull! When you are lying there on your deathbed, I'm sure you'll look back on those extra mortgage payments with such fondness...

Anyway, one point that hasn't been mentioned is that you're usually on a 'circuit' of weddings with friends / family and so on, and we went to some fairly expensive weddings, one was 3x what we'd paid. At least we could hold our heads up and say we'd thrown a good party. Would have felt a bit guilty throwing a £1,500 wedding and then turning up to a £75k one.

Given the type of people me and my DP are, I think when we do get married it will be low key, probably just close family. Whether we do it at home or abroad will determine the budget! My sister had a big wedding, country hotel, 100+ guests and it was a lovely day, but all the bits of decoration they bought for it are still cluttering up the house unused 5 years later which to me seems a massive waste.

The best wedding I've ever been to was my cousin's. She got married in the local registry office with just immediate family, then we extended family all met up at her favourite beach (risky in the North of England even in July!) We all took a picnic, deckchairs, games for the kids and spent the evening together until the sun came down. She wore a dress she already had, picked wildflowers from her garden and made cupcakes for the wedding cake. Simple, but beautiful, and very her.

I don’t feel like it is, but we’re on limited budgets and would rather save for a house deposit. We’re getting married just the two of us and our DD on a weekend away in Edinburgh

Well @HoldMyLobster that's your choice and I wouldn't criticise someone for it.

But I think I just find it shocking when someone spends more than my annual salary on one day!

We had a lovely wedding , and have been married 25 years now , I still think the wedding day was one of the happiest days of my life

Not big and flash , but a lovely ceremony in a local church , flowers by a local florist who we’d known for ages , cake made by a local lady , my dress and the one bridesmaids dress made by a local dressmaker

The church grounds was decorated with flowers from friends in the village , who bought them down in wheelbarrows

About 60 in the church and for a sit down meal , then more for a party later

Worth every penny , and it wasn’t a huge amount

I don't understand people who spend thousands of pounds on what is essentially a party

Just to really baffle you, we spent thousands on DH's 50th too.

I am not married but I'm not going to lie, every wedding I have ever been to has made me not want to bother.

It just seems like a huge waste of money for what is, quite frankly, quite a long and boring day.

I can't remember anything in particular from anyone's weddings and if I am honest would rather not be invited.

We spent £500 including our outfits and that was plenty enough!

I don't understand people who spend thousands of pounds on what is essentially a party

do 'most' girls always dream of their wedding day from childhood?

another memo missed...

do what you can afford and want. I haven't been to that many weddings but the only really enjoyable one was where two dear friends got married and there were lots of other friends there. If you don't know many people a wedding is just a day-long bore.

No, it's a silly bit of pageantry that you get sucked into. Spend your money on travel or buying property.

Absolutely definitely worth it!!

We got married five months after the proposal and it was so so exciting organising everything in such a short time frame. I was happy and excited every day for 5 months straight

We probably spent about £14’000 and it was worth every penny.

I hated my wedding. Couldn’t afford the posh do I wanted and DH wouldn’t agree to elope because his mummy would be disappointed. So we had a shitty cheap wedding and invited loads of people. Haven’t seen most of them since.

I was bored, but I don’t really Like parties much anyway. I wasn’t one of the little girls who dreamed of a wedding day. I love being married though.
I think dh would say it was worth it but he’s a social butterfly and he had a weight of expectation from his side of the family that I just don’t have.

We had a medium wedding (~160 people) with a generous budget nearly ten years ago, and I've never regretted a penny of it.

We had almost all the people who we cared about most in the world together, and it felt like the most fantastic, warm, generous, open dinner party I could imagine. And then we danced together all night long.

It has made golden memories not just for me but for friends and family (no one's walking around cooing about it, but it gets brought up warmly and fondly a few times a year). My family is dispersed and my friends even more so, and having the chance to have them all together was a dream.

The chance that I got to make my vows in front of them only made it better. We made our own ceremony and it was sweet and sincere and smart and warm and funny and unsappy/ungooey/unwoo-y but full of good ritual, and I'm so glad we got to do it surrounded by people we loved.

Wouldn't trade it for the world.

Totally worth it. We were older and had had DD1 by the time we got married. We spent money on food, drink and a 10 piece live band. Everything else was done on a tiny budget of not a lot. No fancy cars, no decorations on tables, no favours, my dress was hand made and cost less than £200, I baked cakes. We basically just threw a massive party for family and friends. Everyone still talks about it. Having the people you love most in the world all in the one place having fun was worth every penny.

@WhatsInAName19 your wedding sounds just like mine 🥰

We spent around £18k and it was honestly worth every single penny. We had the most fantastic day and threw the best party I’ve ever been to everyone had a brilliant time and we loved bringing all our family and friends together.

I’m not sure it’s a very useful question tbh. A wedding doesn’t have an intrinsic value. It’s worth what someone feels it’s worth to them. Some might say our wedding was a waste of money, but it wasn’t to us. DH and I still talk about it all the time and how glad we are that we had a big celebration. Also “£20k wedding” tells you nothing. A £20k wedding with 50 guests is a totally different kettle of fish to a £20k wedding with 175 guests. And £20k to a couple with one person on minimum wage, the other a SAHP and with 2 kids between them, is very different to the same £20k for a couple both earning six figures and with no dependents.

DH and I spent over £20k. We did not have a flashy wedding. It was very low key and relaxed. We have enormous families (10 siblings between us, most with partners and children) and only invited family and close friends. That still came to 120 people. We spent absolutely loads on the best band we could find, an ace photographer, awesome food and loads of booze. We had a marquee in a friend’s paddock and decorated it ourselves. It was incredible and we loved every minute. If we’d spent less we would have had to compromise on something that we felt was important, and we thought “sod it, we’re doing this once so let’s do it exactly how we want to”. So glad we did. BUT we would never have jeopardised our ability to buy a home or got ourselves in debt for it, I definitely think that’s unwise.

It’s a bit wanky when people say stuff about “losing sight of why you’re getting married in the first place”. Like it’s impossible to remember what a wedding actually is or whether you love your partner because you’ve been distracted by a nice frock and a knees up 🙄

Registry office and a meal with close family - 16 people altogether. Just what I wanted and no regrets. We had a small pub party a couple of months later for friends and extended family. Never wanted a big wedding. It was perfect for us

Oh and don't feed people 😂

What kind of host doesn't provide food (and drink) for their guests?

As has been said many times, there is no need to spend the ridiculous amounts some people spend.
I had a 'traditional' wedding (Church, then sit down meal for about 80 then more guests to party in evening) and I look back with fond memories 25 years later. I hope my dc do similar, but obviously that is up to them.
Ultimately, it will depend 'where you are in life' with your finances though, and what your future earnings and security look like. So many things to factor in.