Is a wedding day worth it?

Z O M B I E T H R E A D

We had a 180-guest wedding, bit different from most people these days as we're Jewish and our parents still paid for most of it. I somehow had no idea before we got married that most people paid most themselves these days, despite the fact I barely had any Jewish friends before I married, I just didn't know much about weddings.

As per Jewish tradition, a lot of the guest were our parents' friends but TBH as that's what we'd both grown up expecting, it's just normal and I honestly didn't mind seeing as parents were paying and I liked that we were confirming our commitment in front of a chain of people connected with us and our families. Would have been something smaller and less ambitious had we been paying ourselves, but I'm happy with what we had. The size was less stress that it being 2 hours from home, as DH was very set on a rural wedding (I'd have just had something in London were it just up to me!)

This sounds so lovely.

I opted for a quiet registry office wedding and a small party. Arranged in 10 days. Never regretted it. I hate all that stress and being the centre of attention. Horses for courses though. If you enjoy all that fuss and have a lovely day, then good for you. Hopefully rich parents too.

My wedding was brilliant. Cost around £12k but was in an amazing venue, great food and just a lovely, fun day with all our family and friends. It was a lot of money to spend on 1 day but my parents and MIL chipped in, we could afford it and we didn’t go overboard on extras (eg my entire outfit was

We had a lovely small wedding...it cost 3k. And even now I think that something even less would have been nice... like a hotel and spa or a weekend away with just our parents and siblings
So glad I didn't spend thousands

We got married abroad with 10 or so close family guests. It cost us around 6k including a ten day holiday, definitely better than 25k for 12 hours!

Whereas I think having all our family and close friends there made the huge spend totally worthwhile. Couldn't think of anything worse than having to exclude people I care about and then essentially spending my honeymoon on holiday with my in-laws. Horses for courses 🤷🏽‍♀️

I had a big expensive wedding having said I would never do that. It was amazing. One if the best days of my life. Definitely worth it.

We spent more on my ring than the wedding (3.5k for ring about. 500 for wedding ). Big events just aren’t us and being the centre of attention would be horrible for me. We had a great meal with close friends and had a lovely time. There are no rules, people think that much for a ring is disgusting but I love my ring and I think it was money well spent

Ours was worth it. Really was once in a lifetime and the memories are fantastic.

Yes it is worth it.

Our wedding cost a few hundred pounds and I don't regret it at all.

Registry office, meal for 8 of us, night in a nice hotel. I don't feel any less married because we didn't have a big day. I wouldn't want to spend thousands on one day.

It's a personal choice, I'm sure plenty of people would tell you their wedding day was the best day of their life.

But then I've never been one of those people who dreamt about my wedding day in fact the whole idea stresses me out.

It's always worth getting married, if that's what you both feel is right for you!

My first wedding was in a church, very traditional but not overly expensive as we were still quite young. Lots of family made things for it.

My second wedding was a smaller ceremony but cost more because dh and 8 of our friends/family all travelled abroad so we could marry on a warm beach. This one also included a two week holiday/honeymoon as most countries have a minimum residency period before you're allowed to get married. We then had a huge party/bbq in a friend's garden when we were back - we bought everything from the local market and budget supermarkets, friends lent us a big bbq to use so this wasn't too expensive either.

I think it entirely depends on what you see the wedding as meaning. We had a lovely day celebrating our lifelong commitment to each other before friends and family. For us, it’s a sacrament made before God and with vows that we intend to stand by until we die. There is no bigger reason to celebrate in our world.

Our eldest daughter is marrying next year and feels as we did before the wedding. This is it for life. We are helping them plan a very special day that will cost a lot but then we want it marked as something extraordinary, a once in a lifetime occasion. That means family and friends travelling from afar and joining us for the weekend with the wedding ceremony itself being the highlight, rather than the party afterwards.

Ours was 10k and totally worth it. We were earning good money and it didn't break the bank, and it was exactly what we wanted with everyone there. However we did get about 13k in presents from parents/grandparents, so we actually profited.....

The honeymoon was totally shite though and a complete waste of time!

I won't be having even half as much as most people do.

We will be getting married at the local Register Office, and then having an evening party (speeches, buffets and dancing) to get everyone together and celebrate the day. That will be all. Nothing fancy. We don't want bridesmaids, best man etc. Just us for the ceremony.

@ConFusion360 I’m not sure my 90 year old granny would’ve liked camping in a field 🤣 but yes, weddings where everyone is welcome and there’s a real feeling of caring that the guests have a good time, rather than wanting to look good on Instagram, are the most enjoyable weddings (in my humble opinion anyway)

We invited children and made it as easy as possible for our guests to attend, we picked a venue near a premier inn as quite a few guest had to travel to us, so it didn’t cost too much for them to come.

We went one better than that and provided a field for people to camp in. It was a surprisingly popular option. Some guests arrived a couple of days before the ceremony and left a couple of days after it.

We got married last week and spent a small fortune on it. Yes there were plenty of other things that money could have been spent on, but we had an absolutely perfect day with all our friends and family and have such wonderful memories that we absolutely don't regret the amount we spent, even if it was a lot for just one day.

We spent £450 total (for legal fees, dress and rings) and it was totally 100% worth it. Would have been £650 but parents kindly paid for the lunch afterwards.

Was an amazing day, worth every penny.

Big wedding equals pain and stress and very often is a waste of cash as divorced a year or two later.

Can you provide any back up evidence for that ?

I've never seen anything to suggest any correlation between amount spent on wedding and length of marriage.

I'm not sure what you would class as a 'big' wedding, but mine was a fair size, and didn't cause me any pain nor stress.
I've just been to my niece's wedding, and it was a wonderful, lovely occasion which she and her (now) dh enjoyed immensely. Again, no pain. No stress.

I have been to about a dozen weddings and to be honest they all kind of blur into each other. I struggle to recall specific details from each. Of course, when asked by the couple I gush about how wonderful the day was.
In reality most wedding days are too long, especially if distance means staying overnight, food is mediocre and the entertainment standard party fare. It’s lovely seeing the ceremony, catching up with people and having a party, but most weddings are much of a muchness.

Big wedding equals pain and stress and very often is a waste of cash as divorced a year or two later. I never dreamt of a white wedding as I already know that I am a fairy princess and don’t have to pretend for a day.

I mustn’t be like most girls because I never thought about my wedding day until I started planning it, I went in with a very much “that’ll do” attitude and thoroughly enjoyed the whole day from beginning to end, much more than I thought I would.

We invited children and made it as easy as possible for our guests to attend, we picked a venue near a premier inn as quite a few guest had to travel to us, so it didn’t cost too much for them to come.

I think if you try and plan a “perfect” wedding then you’ll be disappointed if it’s not how you imagined.

Spent less than £1k on our wedding day and it was absolutely lovely.

I honestly don't understand why people spend many thousands on a party. Dreadful waste of money.