AIBU to be unsure about dating a 37 y.o. virgin man

Venger, (well named,) the opposite of what I said, which you disagreed with, would be to say that "no one has a right to a sex life" so that is what you mean is it?
Not even the right to wank off? On your own, doing no harm to anyone? Does having sex HAVE to cause others harm? Does it HAVE to be exploitative?
I did say "but OBVIOUSLY without hurting anyone else in the process." but of course you chose not to use this context? Why not quote accurately? Do you simply hate other people having a decent sex life that much? Or is yours crap and you wish it wasn't? It's your problem, not mine.

Personally I feel everyone on this planet has the right to a decent sexlife

No one has the right to a sex life and implying that sex is a right also implies that either party has rights over the body of the other. Let's not forget that until 1991 it was legal in the UK for a husband to exercise his sexual rights over his wife whether she wanted it or not.

And no doubt there were will be more along yet to tell the OP to be gentle/supportive of the bloke.

There are probably people who have read the update and will still think OP should be gentle or supportive of the man because, as per my previous post, the societal expectation is that women must tiptoe around men's feelings so as to avoid upsetting them.

Butchyrestingface, or is it "restingbrain", when I first posted it was after reading that she was going to discus the awaystay with the guy and BEFORE reading about the subsequent conversation which ended it all.

Yes, I know. I commented on it, you being the latest in a series of clowns posters who pitched and started talking mince. I gave you the benefit of the doubt of not having bothered to read the updates.

Are you really so hard of reading?

That from a poster who couldn’t be arsed to read the thread. 😂. And no doubt there were will be more along yet to tell the OP to be gentle/supportive of the bloke.

Butchyrestingface, or is it "restingbrain", when I first posted it was after reading that she was going to discus the awaystay with the guy and BEFORE reading about the subsequent conversation which ended it all.
Are you really so hard of reading?

Butchyrestingface, you are full of shit

Says the person who couldn’t be arsed to read the thread and so told the OP to go gently and be supportive with a guy who’d just verbally abused her.

Right you are. 👍

Butchyrestingface, you are full of shit. In the context of where she was at without actually having got near to getting around to having sex with him, I am convinced my remarks were totally reasonable. Knowing what actually happened when they had the discusssion has no impact on what your my or anyone's thought were BEFORE the fateful conversation took place. Hindsight had 20:20 vision. Don't try to be clever after the fact.

OP it is still possible that his shitty reaction was a misplaced defence mechanism.

I think the guy seriously needs to see a sex therapist. You are well out of it. But is the guy simply going to continue in this way for the rest of his life? The guy needs some form of therapy. He obviously has hang-ups and for all I know he is love with his mother.
Personally I feel everyone on this planet has the right to a decent sexlife, but OBVIOUSLY without hurting anyone else in the process.

and accused me of behaving like a princess despite having been "around the block" myself, with the children to show for it.

Good grief.
Been around the block?? Haven't we all.... well him excepted of course.
He's obviously got some deep-seated issues there regarding women. You said he wasn't religious but is there maybe a religious family background that might have caused issues - or is he homosexual but hasn't had sex with a man either due to being unable to accept this.

I totally did not see it coming and am seriously questioning now my judgment about people. I guess the spandex stays firmly on until it improves (if ever).
You maybe didn't see this particular reaction coming but you did seem to think something was "off" otherwise you wouldn't have been on here asking what others thought. I don't think your judgement is off at all.

Lucky escape. He sounds like a nightmare waiting to happen.

What a little fuck nut. Fuck him OP. You touched his little vile ego with an adult conversation and his Ape went crazy (chimp paradox theory). I would have stuck a knife in and twisted - though I am a BITCH.

Thank goodness! You deserve SO much more! I’ve been around the fucking UK if you’ve been around the block! Fuck him!

Thankyou, Ponoka.

Will now read it and comment as appropriate. but taken in the context of my having posted before (I thought) she hadn't met him, was my comment that inappropriate?

Yes!

WOW. Good job you found out now .

I personally didn't read the bit about him turning out to be an rsole.
Didn't read the whole thread by the looks of things, which is not like me as usually I am pretty good at doing so. Looks like I am not the only one!
Will now read it and comment as appropriate. but taken in the context of my having posted before (I thought) she hadn't met him, was my comment that inappropriate?

@Beaverdam and @StanleySteamer,

Did you both somehow miss what this prince said to OP this morning? Or do you think she should overlook it?

For those who haven't bothered to read the OP's updates - he turned out to be an arsehole.

READ THE THREAD.
READ THE THREAD.
READ THE THREAD.
READ THE THREAD.
🙄

He could quite simply have a very small todger and have never wanted to be ridiculed or feel he is going to somehow fail in bed. (This must happen a lot. He must feel very positive about you if this is the case and he feels he can "go" with you. I'd just urge you to be very gentle and supportive with him. And to point him very gently in the right direction. Best of luck with your time with him.

Head desk. RTFT

Ah please give him a chance. Maybe hes shy and unsure of himself or never had the opportunity. Its just sex.

Oh dear, well nothing to do with the virginity issue but that's shite!

Another one here who thinks you handled it just fine OP I'm sorry he wasn't who you thought he was but glad you've found out early on.

You did the right things by taking it fairly slowly, being open and upfront and kind... but then BINNING at the first sign of nonsense.

Agree with this. You’ve handled it really well. Nothing wrong with your instincts.

I know what it’s like trying to meet people as a single parent of little kids - it isn’t easy, but please don’t let this bloke knock you off your stride. Wishing you luck from the other side (having been in the same position and now happy with lovely kind DP)

^ This was sarcasm, in case it's not obvious!

Ah... come now, dongdingdong, it's hardly fair to expect a man to be non-misogynist ALL of the time, even when sex is on the cards!

Surely accusing the OP of having 'been around the block' is a forgivable slip up?

Could you not try again with sex firmly off the cards for a while?

Seriously?

I am sitting here now trying to dig through all previous conversations / exchanges to see if there were any red flags, but it does not look like there were. Or I was feeling so lonely and unloved that I subconsciously chose to ignore them. Feels a bit weird, like I cannot even trust myself to make any good choices at the moment.

OP I wouldn't be too hard on yourself! Red flags sometimes don't show instantly - the cleverer/more borderline normal blokes can easily take a while to show their true colours.

You did the right things by taking it fairly slowly, being open and upfront and kind... but then BINNING at the first sign of nonsense.

Seriously, there isn't much else you can do! The only wrong move to make is ignoring warning signs when they are clearly there - you didn't.