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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be unsure about dating a 37 y.o. virgin man

268 replies

Puzzledbyart · 29/09/2019 20:56

I just started seeing someone with serious intentions for the first time in 5 years (single mother, no support, so no major opportunity to develop romantic relationships). Feeling a little bit out of my depth and awkward. It is an ex-colleague, we met at someone's leaving drinks and just hit it off.
We had a couple of dates so far, and had a very nice quick lunch today too (while my children were attending their sunday classes). I really like the guy, he seems genuine, funny and sweet, only painfully shy. Today he told me that he is also a virgin - and he is 37 (I am a few years younger).
AIBU to be a bit alarmed by this? I cannot put my finger on what exactly is bothering me, but the more I think about it, the more unsure I feel. Or am I overthinking this?

OP posts:
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OneLoudPoster · 19/05/2026 20:53

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OneLoudPoster · 19/05/2026 20:51

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seb345 · 05/04/2020 21:35

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Sometimeswinning · 03/04/2020 09:25

@RoseGoldEagle me to! Sunday school? Arranging a night away!!?? Ah 2019. The world makes sense again.

AllTheseThingsThatIHaveNotDone · 03/04/2020 05:21

Man ended up being a twunt on p9 flippy No shit Sherlock. Just like the twat posing under a female name who revived this to flog a dodgy dating app.

ZOMBIEZOMBIEZOMBIEZOMBIEZOMBIEZOMBIEZOMBIEZOMBIE

Flippyflo · 03/04/2020 03:37

Allthesethingsihavenotdone and Rosegoldeagle

Regardless of Zombie.. I need to know what happened !!!

Did she or didn’t she ?!??

RoseGoldEagle · 03/04/2020 03:13

Just started reading this thread not realising it was a zombie and my first thought was outrage- you met him for lunch!!! God how life has changed

AllTheseThingsThatIHaveNotDone · 03/04/2020 01:11

zombie
wtaf Is MNHQ reviving under socks because of slow thread/anything other than Corona pls Confused

h3av3n · 03/04/2020 01:01

For me it would be a red flag for him having issues, also the sex probably wouldn't be good

Sonichu · 03/04/2020 01:01

What's in your heeeeeead,
In your heeeeeead,
Zombie.... zombie...

abby2020 · 03/04/2020 00:36

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StanleySteamer · 09/10/2019 09:18

@Mummybares,
Stan i hardly think sex with ones hand is whats commonly known as sex life...which is not a human right much as incels would love it to be hmm article 69 perhaps...

If this was true, then the people who make and sell vibrators and other sex toys would have gone bust ages ago. Sadly, the only sex life many people have is with themselves. I have a male married friend who told me, about eleven years ago, that he had not had sex for the last ten years THEN, and they are still married. A cleaning lady we once had told me that her only sex life was with her "toys" and that "it wasn't the same". I could give further examples. not everybody "gets it" or "gets it regular". Sad but true.

Supersimkin2 · 04/10/2019 23:32

Silly little man. Well done OP, maximum dignity from you. It must be a bit annoying if you feel you have wasted time on him - you haven't, that's life, and you made your exit at precisely the right moment.

Awful people do take time to show their true colours, otherwise they would function even less than they do. Phew to no awful sex, what a massive relief for you.

Queenest · 04/10/2019 23:20

He’s a creep. Lucky escape OP

Andysbestadventure · 04/10/2019 09:31

Always trust your gut! And this is why. He's probably a future serial killer with an attitude like that.

StarlightLady · 04/10/2019 07:09

OP, it just shows your gut instinct was right all along, but you know this. When l first read your thread, l opted to keep schtum as l realky was not sure what to think.

I hope you meet someone who you can enjoy time and bodies with soon. I always think it’s best in a new friendship to enjoy the sex together but without the overnight stay.

Binforky · 04/10/2019 06:10

You've had a lucky escape op just don't do what I did and give him another chance. I had only slept with one person who was my oldest father and my ex said something similar about me he called me a "cum bucket". He then pleaded forgiveness and because I was in a bad place anyway have him a second chance. Worse mistake of my life I wouldn't change my 2 other children for the world but what he's done to my mental health and I said earlier he has made me never want to have sex again. He was a nasty abusive bastard who believed all women are slags and I owed him sex. He even on our fist time made me feel like I looked disgusting. Looking back I have no idea why I stayed with him and why I felt like I owed him sex. He seemed such a nice guy before it all as we had known each other for years.

Mummybares · 04/10/2019 03:13

What a dickhead. And oh yuck at the words he used.

Stan i hardly think sex with ones hand is whats commonly known as sex life...which is not a human right much as incels would love it to be Hmm article 69 perhaps...

Branster · 03/10/2019 15:08

Puzzlebyart that as a lucky escape for you.
At least you’ve proven to yourself that your intuition was correct.
This man has some really unhealthy and insulting opinions about women, he probably dislikes all women very much.
I even wonder if he made up the being a virgin story thinking it might be somewhat endearing to manipulate you for sexual favours.

Venger · 03/10/2019 10:06

Yes, if this is his attitude now then imagine how much worse he would be after you'd had sex with him. Lucky escape, OP!

pinksparkleunicorns · 03/10/2019 09:54

Oh dear. It all makes sense now Confused what an idiot he is. At least you found out now, before potentially popping his cherry

MyOtherProfile · 03/10/2019 05:41

No wonder he's a virgin.

Looks like the thread got derailed anyway but OP if you come back I hope you meet a nice guy soon who doesn't turn out to be a weirdo!

Hazardd · 03/10/2019 00:51

My conclusion is your judgement is pretty fine tuned OP!

-You dated lots, no rushing, very sensible
-identified he was shy and that's not something to judge someone over so carried on dating
-he revealed a slightly unusual thing about himself and you thought hmmm and spoke to him in a very understanding and mature way

-he went TA-DAH! I'M A FUCKING KNOBHEAD

  • you successfully ran for the hills

Your only slip up is you thinking you need to question your judgement. Your fine.

Venger · 03/10/2019 00:10

I meant exactly what I wrote but then again only a certain type of man would believe that everyone has the right to a sex life.

Venger · 03/10/2019 00:08

@StanleySteamer you alright there, Ranty?