The most laughable thing your ex ever said to you?

Ooh, I felt that one. I was taking medication for depression and doctor said it was OK to continue through pregnancy. But I felt my mood dip, so they linked me in with MIMHS for support. Two months after the birth he said "probably best you end stuff with MIMHS now, I dont want it to reflect badly on us".

as much as I know it’s crap dealing with it, it’s always nice getting some solidarity! I was never supportive enough either, even when my needs were always second place. Easier to keep him happy and not worry about myself which says something doesn’t it!

I know this is a zombie thread but I'm enjoying it very much.

I bought and wrapped up his family's presents, for Christmas, birthdays, and any other presents necessary, and I still wasn't supportive enough, so good on you for having him sort out presents for his own family

I know this is an old thread, but doing some thinking and I often come to MN for a sanity check!
Here are mine;

When he was bent emotionally awful towards me, he quoted Marilyn Monroe at me and said ‘if you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my best’.

That I need to date someone who is a pushover and who is monotone because I asked not to be shouted and sworn at

That I am not a supportive enough partner because I didn’t buy and wrap his family’s Christmas presents for him (we both worked full time, and obviously I did all of my own)

When he was awful to me, I said I sometimes questioned what sort of person he is. His response was ‘what sort of partner insinuates their partner is a bad person’

Ultimately, when I realised marrying him would be a massive mistake and called it off, he threatened to sue me for damages.

Phew! I may be typing into the abyss and don’t expect anyone to have gotten this far, but today it feels cathartic!!

'I didn't forget. I would have remembered if I forgot'
Ok, genius.

“You’ll never find anyone else like me”
Good!!!!!

To clarify. By rings ex crying I mean rings my partner crying 🙈

Mine is my partners ex:

Rings ex crying “our (6 year old) son just doesn’t seem to want to see me, he cries for you and is crying for you now even though I’m trying to see him”

Errrrrrrrm it’s probably because you left when he was 1 and haven’t fucking bothered with him since!

"No way, I would never sleep with her, we're close but she's like my sister!"

About his house mate...

He was of course, sleeping with her!

He didn't tell me because he liked me too and hoped I would understand that he couldn't choose!

I made that one very easy for him.

''Your personality detracts from your looks.'' we split up shortly after.

'' I will really miss your minestrone soup. '' After i had split up, on friendly terms with another ex. Erm, Thanks,

KeepYourGinUpHigh that reminds me of my ex so much.

I used to get asked if I was retarded, stupid, did my parents not teach me anything etc etc if I disagreed with him. The patronising, it's not your fault your parents didn't teach you properly he's a classic 'thinks he's smarter than everyone' prick.

Also the selfish if I didn't do something with him. Selfish for going out with friends when he didn't have any money (because he'd spent it all on weed), even though I was the one paying all the bills because he'd sit on his arse all day playing computer games and getting high.

He'd call me all the names under the sun, throw things at me, shove me, get in my face to the point I had to lock myself in the bathroom whilst he was headbutting the door trying to get in and then as if nothing had happened, tell me he needed a lift to wherever (because he couldn't drive).

Absolute tosser.

‘Have you got special needs?’ This was repeated any time I disagreed with him. ‘You are the most selfish person I’ve ever known’ when I deigned to go out with my friends without him. And when I did go out he’d text me asking me to come home to him. Thank goodness he’s well and truly in the past!

‘I’d fancy you a lot more if you lost some weight and then I’d be able to get it up’. Nothing to do with being an alcoholic then?! Same Ex has since messaged more than once to inform me I was the best shag he’s ever had

Latest one, following a row where he said he was leaving ‘can you find me a hotel to go to?’

No I’m not married, whatever made you think that. Turned out he was married with twin DD’s. Best liar I’ve ever encountered.

Are you going to dress like that for the rest of your life? (on mat leave with new baby, Miles from friends and family)

"If you go away to university I don't know if I will be able to stay faithful"

I graduated 3 years later. Fuck that shit.

Not sure this is laugh out loud material it’s more but when reconciling with my dp he said he needed to move some stuff out of a house share into his new flat and asked for my help. I thought nothing of it and we went straight upstairs to collect his stuff, he grabbed his jumper and he wrestled me on the bed and we had sex and then we left. Transpired it wasn’t a house share it was his exes house and her bed. I found this out a long time after.

He has since made up for this cataclysmic fuck up but it was truly awful.

When e was taking some if his stuff he complained that I'd not given him a drink of coffee or anything to eat, completely forgetting that he'd accused me of putting ground glass ín some food and drink I'd offered him last time he was taking things. I found some cans of pop and things wrapped up and left them out for him so he couldn't accuse me. I have subsequently discovered that ground glass us pretty inert and in small quantities at least would do oi harm, but I have never used it as an ingredient in anything and don't intend to at any point in the future

When I was 16 my first proper BF was a little bit possessive. He was 18. I was stupid, 'in love' and thought I knew best. Looking back there was lots of little things he said/did that were horrible. Including cheating on me with another - very aggressive - girl. The one that really stayed with me tho was;
"Dont wear your hair up, it makes you look ugly; like a man"

Even now; at 31 I hate to wear my hair up and often have it cut into a very short style so I cant actually put it up. My DH loves me to bits and doesn't care how I wear my hair but that comment really shook me.

He accused me (screaming and ranting) of having an affair with a total stranger who was decorating our house. I was resting in bed following discharge from hospital for threatened miscarriage.

Fucker never even apologised.

@BenWillbondsPants was his name Draco Malfoy?

"I will train you to apologise as you really struggle with that"

She’s just a friend ( Oh right )

I only ever wanted to be friends with her but you wouldn't have accepted that so I had to have a relationship with her ( WTF )

Aren’t we silly (that we are still apart) (no, I am not silly not to want you back, f off) 😀

After a massive row, he told me he was going to tell his dad on me. 😂

spidersonmyceiling what a fucking knob!!