To be so upset about our living situation?

I’ve got to tell you- I’m in a high rise. Two bedrooms for 6 people. I sleep on the sofa and haven’t slept in a bed for 4 years. It’s a struggle. Yours sounds idyllic but it’s all about perspective. I have the guilty feelings so I hear you but you have a job, a child, a husband and your own home. It sounds absolutely fantastic! I don’t mean to be mean. If you’re unhappy make a plan to move and work towards it.

justgiving.com/crowdfunding/broadwaterfarm

Have a read about the kids living in Broadwater Farm Estate in London. The article in the Times broke my heart - it will make you feel very lucky OP

Some of my friends live in tower blocks with no communal gardens. You sound very lucky. I'm sure, that in ten years time you'll be able to move and afford a home with a garden.

You sound very lucky.

Fwiw, my now 21 year old always had a garden, but I can count on the fingers of one hand the times she actually played in it!

houses can be incredibly cheap in Yorkshire you do know Yorkshire is huge? Houses can also be incredibly expensive in a lot of Yorkshire, with locals unable to buy there anymore and having to leave the area.
Anyway, OP I would hate not having anywhere to even hang washing or sit out on a bench, but as I’m sure you’re realising reading the replies, your dc really has a fantastic home.

We have a huge garden. DD never goes in it, she’s always at the park. As are her friends who never play in their gardens either.

I grew up in a flat without a garden (it was a very big old tenement in Glasgow so there was a communal garden but we barely used it). It's not something that I ever remember being that bothered about - there was a big park down the road and I was always out on my bike when I was a bit older anyway.

I think I would feel the same without a garden although when my dc’s were small we only had a tiny square of concrete as a garden and we managed by going to the park and for walks. I now have a large garden and me kids rarely go in it (though they are now teens), I use the garden to relax in and to grow veg, I would hate not to have it.

I think you need to accept that for now there’s not much you can do about it and make the most of all the other amazing things about where you live, getting an allotment plot as someone suggested would be good idea. Your ds will be fine for now enjoying the other things you have around you.

Do you have a yard or anything? Do you have an6 outside space even a drive? Could you take a picture and we could give you some ideas?

Your house and the surroundings sound absolutely lovely. Having a garden isn't everything, especially as there is a little park opposite. Make the most of what you have right now, it is yours after all; in a few years you'll be able to move but don't spend those years longing for what you can't have. What you do have is pretty good, well done for achieving that!

Remodelling might be the way to go. A space to dine as a family sounds like a huge priority for you, so changing the downstairs layout to achieve that will really improve how you think about your home. Is there space in the living room to make it a living/dining room? Try farmhouse style benches to minimise the room taken up - they can be tucked under the table when you’re not using it. Someone else mentioned you’re maybe worried about where to dry washing? Would it be possible to swap out a cupboard for a dryer unit in the kitchen? There are lots of ways to make efficient, neat use of cupboards to make up for the loss of one. Pinterest is a great way to productively use an afternoon for this one!

Ultimately, though, your post speaks to me about mental health. Having a child and a move at a similar time is a lot of upheaval. It sounds like you’re feeling very anxious, and unsettled, and perhaps missing home a bit too. Speak to someone, make connections. With your GP, but also with your community - it’ll give you an outlet, it’ll give you a network, and it’ll make you feel more comfortable in your new home. If it’s hard to do things for yourself, do it for your child - it’s his community too, and inroads will be valuable to him.

PS: We spend half our year in the Middle East. We don’t have a garden here, as it’s an apartment, and it’s too hot to be outside for most of the year. I’ve got one newborn and one 2.5yo and he’s thriving. We fly around a lot, it’s about as different from my upbringing as possible, but we make it work. You will find your way too, it’s okay for it to take a while to get to that. Hugs!

I had not garden growing up, i played outdoors all day in the summer, other people’s gardens, verges, common ground,,,your little one will find places to play,,,worry not :-)

We live in a 2 bedroom flat with four children. We’ve been here 10 years. We don’t even have a bedroom, let alone a garden! Eldest is 11, youngest is nearly 1. No it’s not ideal, but it is what it is. It’s what we can afford on our salaries. It’s in the middle of a built up Council estate. We do however have a playing field nearby. We spend time there when we can.
I just think myself lucky that we have a roof over our heads and we are together as a family.

Lots of children don't have a garden. We lived in a second floor flat until I was about 13 and I have never felt that I missed out

I would not like to live somewhere with no outdoor space. However, it sounds like there are lots of good things about where you live. You can't afford to move, so make the best of it.

I think your anxiety and depression are causing you to find problems where there really aren't any. You are catastrophising.

Your son won't miss what he's never had. With water so close, would you ever really have just let him play in the garden without keeping a close eye on him? If you're going to watch him, then you can watch him play up on the hills or elsewhere in the village. You can hang washing out of the windows on a hanger thingie or on a clothes horse outside the door. You can take picnics into the fields.

It will be fine, OP. Maybe mention to the doctor that you are feeling a bit 'low' though.

Hi OP

You said you think you made the wrong choice. But it sounds like you didn't have a choice. You couldn't afford a garden. So you chose what you could afford.

Millions and millions of people live in apartments and their kids are perfectly fine
Maybe your circumstances will change

But if they don't, ask anyone what they enjoyed about their good childhood and not many say a large garden

Look on the bright side you could live in a lovely house with a garden, but in a really bad area.

OP, do you get out the house a lot? Do you have a car? Can you drive?

There must be so many great areas around you to explore. Maybe it will require you doing a lot of the legwork but there is no reason that your son can’t spend lots of time outdoors. Garden are great but in the grand scheme of things they aren’t always used for that many years by kids. If you live in a safe area you lad might be able to go out with friends and play in the fields or the street fairly young.

I’m wondering if it’s you that has cabin fever at the moment? Can you open the front door and sit on a garden chair at the front of the house?

You sound like you have a lovely house in a beautiful area. I totally understand where you are coming from though it's being a mum it makes us feel guilty as hell.
Ive got a three bed house with two tiny bedrooms, one only fitting a bed in and a chest of draws. I feel this horrendous guilt and feelings of failure everyday, even though I know realistically I'm so bloody lucky compared to some.
It really is just Mum guilt your house sounds lovely and the area beautiful I would love to live in the countryside.

Friend lived outside Hebden Bridge your home sounds so similar to hers. My two used to love visiting, trees to climb, stream, amazing views, such a peaceful place. It is when they are teenagers and you have to ferry them around it can be a trial at times.

Sounds great, and you've nothing to feel guilty about. I think most under-45s in the UK feel that their housing situation is nowhere near as good as what they expected when they were growing up. So many families in insecure rented accommodation, and so many who just scraped on to the housing "ladder" worry about being stuck in a starter home indefinitely. It's a pretty endemic problem.

The house and area sound lovely, I’ve never known a terraced house to not even have a back door. Most at least had a yard and an old scullery. Especially industrial ones as the workers would come home filthy and wash in the scullery first.

@falafelaboutit An allotment is a great idea!