Sorry, this is long. NC as last posts could out me. But to give background, I lost my mum last month and it has hit me hard.
I've done the majority of organising the funeral and wake on my own (My brother attended one meeting at undertakers, didn't help me set up the function room for the wake, or clear up afterwards), I've been clearing her flat, again my brother hasn't helped at all. Extended family lives too far away to help.
I'm signed off work with stress and anxiety at the moment, I feel sick every day and can't face food. I've lost nearly a stone in a month.
Anyway, I would not have got through the last month without my amazing DP and friends. I've had friends come to mum's flat to help me as my brother wasn't helping, then my brother's friends rocked up to wake venue the morning of funeral to help me, as they knew I was setting the room up on my own, while also vomiting all morning.
Then I've had other friends making me food to try and get me to eat, or taking me down the pub for a chat and to get out of the house, plus loads of friends calling every few days to see how I am coping. Two friends sent flowers too.
Despite all of this amazing support, I'm oddly just totally focused on the fact that one of my best friends (let's call her Pippa) has not called me, or even attempted to arrange to see me.
I hang out with Pippa and another best friend (let's call her Lauren) as a threesome, we meet about once a month for food, or drinks, we would like to meet more, but all work FT and have hobbies and lots of other friends. Plus Lauren lives nearly 20 miles away.
Since my mum died, they've both texted often and I've shared that I'm really struggling. Lauren has tried 4 times in the last month for us all to meet up, but Pippa has been non-committal, or cancels last minute and says Lauren should go ahead and see me without her. Which we have done. Lauren has kindly made the nearly 40 mile round trip just to see me for a couple of hours.
Pippa didn't attend my mum's funeral due it clashing with other plans, which I understood. I also understand that she's busy, but if she lost a parent and implied she was struggling, I would be there in a heartbeat for her.
I met Lauren again this week, Pippa had pulled out of meeting us last minute as she had a hobby that night and wouldn't have much time after work and before the hobby to meet us.
While with Lauren, I said that I feel like a bitch for saying it (as I'm not a gossip, or back stabber), but I'm incredibly hurt by Pippa's lack of support. We are all straight down the line kind of women, we are always honest with each other and we've never fallen out. I asked Lauren if I should mention how I feel to Pippa.
Lauren was like, "God mate, I'm glad you said it out loud, I've been really saddened by Pippa's behaviour too, but didn't say anything in case you were fine with it. But I agree, she's let you down."
We didn't talk about it too long, because it felt like we were betraying Pippa talking about her behind her back. But Lauren is 50/50 whether I should mention to Pippa how hurt I am. I'm the same, part of me thinks, I don't have the RIGHT to make demands of her time, but at the same time, I need my friends more than ever right now.
So there's more. Pippa is pregnant with her first child, a little boy. Lauren and I don't have kids yet. The pregnancy is going really well thankfully and we've been so happy to see Pippa so happy. Lauren thinks maybe I shouldn't broach it as she might just be wrapped up in her pregnancy and has not realised that she's not been supportive, plus me broaching it might cause her undue stress. Which I wouldn't want. Pippa is very calm person, doesn't do drama, which is part of her appeal, I hate drama too.
So, my question is AIBU to expect more? Does pregnancy make you less aware of close friends feelings? Should I broach it?
I know I sound self-pitying, I'm lucky to have such supportive mates, but for one of my best friends to not even pick up the phone? I'm so upset. Guess I'm just licking my wounds right now.