To ask that if you don't work but your husband/partner does, do you get an allowance for clothes?

I don't have an allowance.

DH's salary goes into his account. There is a monthly standing order for roughly the amount of the bills/mortgage/petrol/shopping etc which goes into our joint account. The maintenance from my XH also goes into that account. There is always more in there than we need, and I spend it as I see fit.

He offered to set up a monthly standing order into a new account for me, as 'spending money', but I really don't need it.

He buys whatever he wants (usually computer stuff), whenever he wants, from his own account.

He works really hard and is paid well for it. He suggested I give up work last year because I loathed my job and it was making me stressed, depressed and physically unwell. My children are in secondary school and I can't honestly say that what I do at home is hard work.

So, controversially, I think he deserves all of the spending money he has. I wouldn't know what to do with it if I had it! But if I wanted anything at all, it would be mine.

my hubby is very 'i earn all the money' now that i am on ML and then will be working PT afterwards. He gets more fun money than me but whilst i stick to the amount he goes overdrawn which drives me mad. He claims £400 is too little for petrol, treats, clothes a month-is it?
It's really frustrating and I cannot seem to make him see it as our money. His answer to everything is I work!

I am not earning at the moment. That does not mean i am not working - I do full time babycare during DPs working hours. We have a joint account - if I want to buy myself something I just do it, within reason. Obviously if I wanted to make a large purchase we would talk about it but that works both ways. He manages the bank account, largely because it was his account before my name was added to it. I never closed my own account so it is handy when a separate account is needed - we are currently using it for wedding budget.
I hate the allowance idea - i'm an adult, I'm too old for pocket money.

DH works, i don't. Everything is paid out (mortgage/bills/savings/insurances/phone contracts/contact lenses for us both etc) and we each have a personal spends amount (usually £100, some months only £50 though) to spend on bits and bobs as we choose. We find this easier than just taking money out as and when because it helps us to budget better, to have 'pots' for everything. I do a big online shop at the beginning of the month to stock up then take out £40 a week for fresh stuff.

DH spends his money on a footy match, curry and beers with his mates once a month, the odd CD/DVD and occasionally clothes. I spend mine on clothes, fabric, yarn, magazines etc. We also have a 'family' pot which is used for days out, the odd takeaway, small treats for the kids, DD1's pocket money

I have an account where the child benefit & tax credits are paid into, this money pays for clothes/shoes/activities/school stuff etc for the kids. This account is just in my name because it's the same one i've had since i was a single parent to DD1, plus i deal with all the kids stuff.

EssexGurl - I think I have a similar attitude, I need to know what my total budget for me, whereas it's a general pot, it's not just yours. I guess I've always had my own money, so I still want that when not in paid work.

1st yr when I officially moved in the DP, we opened a joint account, so when is away, I can pay bills. Well, never happens. Unless I'm short on something and I feel I have to ask for money... HATE doing that!!

DP makes alot more than me. So, he pays the mortage, hydro, and some groceries. I get child support which goes to my kids clothes, activities, school lunch stuff, gas.. etc. (not his children)

At least this year no man at my door with a disconnection notice on hydro, etc!!!!

1st yr, my DP got about $5000 back from income tax and put only 750 into this "joint" account. Huge fight there if some remember...

This yr when income tax came in mail, I put half in his account and half in mine!!! PERIOD.

My DP also will come home with groceries as it is cheaper not to bring me...as I will grab more. Pisses me off, as he isn't home all week and has NO idea what we eat during the week!!

Back to bank accounts..

Not here... Joint incase of emergency, otherwise I think there is like 5.00 in it. His money, his account. My money, mine.

I always find it interesting how other people do things. I am not keen on the 'big pot' idea, not sure why just have never done it. It never occured to us to get one. DH and I don't have a joint account, never have, and don't suppose we ever will. DH works FT and earns far more than my PT wage, but we both have things we pay for - he pays the mortgage, all bills, food, cars etc, and pays a small amount into my account each month, and I pay my petrol, all kids stuff, like guides, cubs, clubs, clothing, school stuff. He has never paid for a birthday or Xmas present for the kids as i do all that. Oh we do have a joint credit card, but also our own too. I pay for my gym membership (which I use) and all my own clothes, pension, hair cut, etc.

It works for us. DH has been using 'spare' money to over pay the mortgae, and save, and i have some savings too, whcih we use for holidays. I wouldn't want a joint account, I am not sure why, just like my own account.

I have always worked, even when the kids were tiny, so I have always had my own money. DH is very frugal, he would cringe at the amount I spend on handbags and boots - best he doesn't know.

I was like you, loathe to spend the "family" money in the joint account. So DH gives me a monthly allowance for me to spend on me. He knows that is the only way I would spend money. Nothing to do with him but my odd attitude to money!!!

we have 3 main accounts, joint account for bills, food and things for DS, then DH and I have our own. When I go to being SAHM (from this week - yay!) what's left in DH's account after covering the increased payments into the joint account (as I'm not going to be putting anything in anymore) will be split 3 ways, one third goes into our savings account, one third DH will put in my account as my "fun" money (not allowance, I'm not 12!) and he keeps the final third for himself. This works best for us as we know we can spend that share without it impacting on family bills/costs and not have to worry about the other one seeing how much our hobbies (DH) or haircuts (me) cost. We both know that while one might spend it every month or the other save up to get big things, that over the year, we've had the same amount for ourselves each so I don't resent it when I realise there's yet another delivery from wiggle . Plus we both know what's being saved monthly and don't have to budget for that from "our" money.

oh, and a full time nanny would cost DH about 4 times what he gives me each month, that tends to focus the mind on the one working one spending crap - work out what 50% of a full time nanny would cost, (without even looking at what a cleaner costs if you do the bulk of that) if your 'allowance' is less than that, then your DH is "up on the deal".

All money into one account. All expenses paid - food clothes, fees, bills etc. including occasional 'fripperies'

Discuss large bills - car, windows, household appliances etc.

DH has what is left for putting in ISAs etc.

I am mindful of what is in the account and what needs to be spent so would not overspend

DH works full time, I am SAHM.
All monies paid into a joint account, bills and savings come out of this also an allowance of £100 each into our personal accounts.

I work full time, DH is SAHD.

We have a joint account which salary, TC and child benefit goes into. All direct debits and standing orders and other bills are paid for out of this account too.

We both have equal access, so if I need something, I'll buy it, ditto DH. If we want to buy something then we talk about it first. DH always asks me first (whatever it is he needs) as he is too lazy to look at the bank account first . I generally take care of the bills though, so he doesn't know if there is anything due out.

Works for us!

Larva - the way I see it is that now that you are married, it shouldn't be about your house/his house/your contribution/his contribution. So who paid what percentage of the house you share today should be irrelevant. Ditto, who earns what percentage of the money you have today should be irrelevant. If as a couple you're earning much, then of course, disposable incomes for both go down.

No my husband doesn't give me an allowance as i am his wife not his daughter

Everything that comes in is ours. We don't discuss what we buy, unless it's big purchases. DH is in 'charge' of the car and might say something like 'the road tax is coming out this month' so I know there will be a big payment going out, but that's just courtesy, not to ask permission or anything like that.

TBH I'm not going to give you a hard time - I remember feeling exactly the same way when I went on mat leave. You just have to discuss it and get on with it, really.

I spend what I like
He spends what he likes

Bling, it's bit more complicated than that. DH was taken very ill and was in hospital throughout my pregnancy. He's self-employed so income was pretty much zero for that time. He's still ill intermittently so takings from his business are pretty low at the moment and he doesn't have much left over at all. Also, I moved into his house when we married. I had enough savings at the time to pay off the remaining mortgage but it was a fraction of what he'd paid for it over the years. (Luckliy we live in a very cheap area too so the mortgage was tiny considering national house prices generally). At the moment it seems to be the fairest split.

one thing i think is unfair is when sahm get a pt job and say its just for them to have their own money to spend on what they want.why is that fair?would it be ok for a man to decide his money was for him only?

I am a SAHM, we have a joint account. DH's salary is paid into it.
I have a wonderful spreadsheet!, I use it every month to manage our finances and so I know exactly how much we will need to spend. If I need to I just use whatever I need for hair, clothes, etc.
DH knows that I am very responsible and organised with money and so doesn't worry about it.

we have 1 account and 1 savings account,dh pays himself a basic wage every moth which covers rent and council tax and then a dividend every 3 months,we save half of that and then we give ourselves a budget (mine is 500 a week his is 100)then the rest is just there for things we all do together.

the reason why mine is so much more is because it covers food,stuff the kids need,stuff for me,trips out and the cleaner,his just covers petrol buying lunch and snooker once a week.

Our tax credits of about £25 a week get paid to me and I'm allowed to keep them as 'my' money. The child benefit also gets paid to me but I hand that over to DH as soon as it comes in, as it's needed for bills and so on. DH is happy for things like shampoo and tampons to come out of our shopping budget but I have to pay for any other personal stuff myself.

Having said that, he does pay for clothes or for me to get my hair done now and then if I'm really skint and depressed about the way I look.
To be honest, it's never occurred to me that the money he earns is 'our' money rather than his. I have felt like a parasite ever since I stopped full time work when I was expecting DS. That was minimum wage and I could only cover my half of the rent with it, I couldn't afford to contribute to bills. Since then, I've had a couple of minimum wage part time jobs which have paid maybe one bill a month for us and I'm not working at all now.

Our tax credits of about £25 a week get paid to me and I'm allowed to keep them as 'my' money. The child benefit also gets paid to me but I hand that over to DH as soon as it comes in, as it's needed for bills and so on. DH is happy for things like shampoo and tampons to come out of our shopping budget but I have to pay for any other personal stuff myself.

Having said that, he does pay for clothes or for me to get my hair done now and then if I'm really skint and depressed about the way I l