Is it horrible to make ds walk

I meant three hours of the OP's day, of course.

I walked to secondary school it ended up being easier and quicker than buses plus less stressful.

40 minutes is fine unless it’s torrential rain. Just get the bus those days. Download some good podcasts for your walk back.

Not your question OP but I just want to reassure you that I used to have similar level social anxiety and it did get better eventually. Lots of people go through similar - ignore the people blaming you or saying this will mess up your son. Best of luck to you. X

Walking is good for both physical and mental health.

Surely at 11 he's ok on the bus on his own. Perhaps you could walk with him to the bus stop to make sure he's ok?

What happens when you take the bus?

what happens if you take it twice a week? What about 3 times? Or 4? What is too much and what happens when it’s too much?

You’ve been to the GP and are waiting for next steps, but this is the next step. Doing the things that cause anxiety. Realizing it hasn’t been the disaster you fear, and then doing it again. Work out what your current limit is, stick to making yourself do that and in a few weeks try and increase.

There are also calming techniques you could look up online - tools to slow the physical symptoms and to distract you from thinking about your fears. Try some out, maybe write them on a card you can take with you and check it over at the bus stop so you can use them to make it more manageable.

OP you can do this. Millions of people suffer from anxiety and millions get over it using exactly this approach. It’s exhausting work at first, but it will make your life and your DC’s so much better.

Op, are you sure it's social anxiety you struggle with? If your son has autism you might do too, which could be why you struggle with buses.

I have autism and buses are an overstimulating nightmare for me

My 9yo and 12yo have a 30 walk or it turns into 20mins if they scoot. Could you both scoot?

I would have killed for a 40 minute walk to secondary school rather than the hell of school time buses 😂

My 11 year old daughter walks half an hour to school every day (hour round trip) and she loves it. She’s not very sporty so it’s a great way to get exercise in for her. It just depends on whether you think he’s confident and capable enough with directions, crossing roads and the distance.

Make sure you do right to choose so you don't have to wait years to be assessed.

And be careful about the advice in this thread, if you're autistic instead of anxious, exposure therapy will actually make you feel worse, not better, and will push you in to burnout. Ask me how I know!

You've said that your DS doesn't have any physical disabilities, but do you have any physical challenges that would make it difficult for you to walk more than two and a half hours a day (since you'll have to walk twice as much as your son)? Would you struggle to walk that far each day?

I’m really sorry people treated you badly when you were suffering, but I can’t let the claim that OP shouldn’t be concerned about passing this on to stand.

Unfortunately you absolutely can pass on anxiety to your children. Children of mothers with untreated anxiety are two - seven times (depending on a bunch of different factors) as likely to develop anxiety themselves. It is a huge risk factor.

Not necessarily. That may be true in your case but it isn't true for all people with autism.

Kids should be walking as much as possible. Ive only read the first page and predictably people are shocked at the very idea of children using their legs. Even very young kids should be walking, problem with young kids is they obviously take their time so you'll just need to build this into your timings.

OP, 2 buses and a wait makes my skin crawl, but that much walking twice a day is going to wear thin fast, especially when you’re both pelted by rain or sliding on ice. I’d go for one of the buses. Go to the first stop, see how busy the bus is - if it’s ok, take it, if not keep walking. See if the following bus is better and so on and do it like that every day. I’ve walked 40min before because I couldn’t be bothered to wait for a bus and just kept walking along the route, so it can work, but it can be utterly miserable November through March.

There is tons of research that says that walking before work/school is hugely beneficial to MH/emotional wellbeing, the 'left/right/left/right' rhythm and motion of the body and brain chemistry to keep repeating the motion is really good for all of us but in particular people who are ND.

This is an good example of a post where it's impossible to give a good answer due to insufficient information from the O.P.

How old is the child? What's the objection to the bus? How about car-pooling?

Oh Ive just seen the child is 11. Absolutely right he should be walking. My walk to work is 45 mins because I try to do 3 miles a day

Waterproof jacket, hood, waterproof trousers that he can then pack away once at school if raining.

It will pay off long term in terms of his physical and mental health.

OP has given all that information. Her child is 11, he has SEN and he goes to a special school he can't travel alone. OP has anxiety, crowded spaces like the bus make it more difficult.

I wish posters would read the OP's updates before posting. I remember her other thread and how much she struggles with social interaction. I suspect she is ND as well.

You don't need to say anything – children are sponges, and they pick up far more than you realise. He already knows something is wrong. If you make him walk for 40 minutes every single day when there is an available bus, you are making him suffer for your own issues. And may well pass it on to him.

That's not her child's fault.