Is it horrible to make ds walk

Check if your local council has travel training for SEN.

Our trainer rocked up 7.30 each morning, and got them to school, then brought them home.

They were fully trained in a few weeks.

They were calm, friendly and professional...it was actually life changing for me to not be tied to doing the school run!

If it's nearly the same time, walking is actually cheaper and you could speed it up by both of you using a scooter (just a normal kick scooter, not electric ones).

Or you could both cycle too.

I think most posters compare it to one bus ride.

Yes

Not familiar with the route
Well, that's why we practised in the school holidays before they started.
This is the 'straight' route, but if you want you can go down this road.
We looked at a map, we cycled and walked around the area a lot so got used to cut throughs and what happened if they walked with a new friend who lived in this road or that.
not particularly used to walking to school on his own
Again, this is why we built up towards it, gradually in Yrs 5 and 6
Difficult crossing / busy road
Presumably where they live anyway? OP hasn't said she just moved into a City from somewhere remote / rural, so presumably have been using these roads for years, and again, building up their independence bit by bit. Any particularly odd crossings near the school they haven't used before would get practised on the walkabouts in the weeks before they start

I mean, presumably 'getting the bus' on their own is going to be a whole new experience and something new to learn, if they chose that option.

OP has said that their child's SEN doesn't affect their physical ability. Obviously, as it is such a coverall term we can't know which would be less stressful, but I am presuming the OP knows him best.

Why not play it by ear? Walk sometimes bus sometimes. You can decide based on how you're both feeling, what the weather is doing etc.
I dont think thats an unreasonable distance to walk. I walk about that far to work and back. Most 11 year olds ought to be more spritely than me.

I think 40 minutes each way is too long. You should at least walk half way and get the bus the rest of the way. I had a 25 minute walk to school at that age and that was definitely long enough.

Maybe just aim to do it on really miserable days then give yourself a break when it is fine. The problem is bad weather tends to set in for a stretch...

I also went on to say that the majority of children from our estate walk. I can’t imagine they all choose to walk, more that a 40-50 walk or a 20minute cycle in the morning is not that far and many families possibly can’t afford the £3 per day bus fair for multiple children…

40 mins is a long time. In the dark and cold when there is another option and a child with SEN doesn't want to do it.

The MN competitive Olympics of 'my child walks seven miles every day and still goes swimming afterwards' isn't relevant here.

Why would you type out that question, OP, without giving your son’s age? 🤔

OP says that he doesn't - which you'd know if you could be arsed to read her posts

realistically it’s probably 35 minutes each way, which is fine. Maybe he could catch public transport if it’s raining heavily? Or icey

Do people really think 1.8miles is too far for secondary kids to walk? Its what I would consider a perfectly normal distance to walk personally, so i am surprised.
A bit of exercise before school is beneficial anyway.

Research says kids need to take about 11k -15k steps a day

Sorry OP, scrap that pp of mine as your updates were obscured by ads.

I was walking those distances from 13 yrs so I think it’s quite a lot for 11 but it does depend on other things. My school commute was in an Islamic country where I didn’t initially speak the language and the men preyed on young girls. I think without those hazards I would have been fine with the distance even at an earlier age. Hard to call though.

Why do you have to take him, can he not go on the bus himself?

@ALovelyPinkUnicorn

a child’s life is hardly “fucked over” because they need to walk to school! Come on now, don’t be dramatic 🤣 walking is good for you! 🚶‍♀️

People seem to think walking is forcing children to do a triathlon before school. My commute is 80 minutes and 40 of that is walking (20 mins train, 20 mins tube in between) and it’s absolutely fine even in winter. It’s a walk and humans are meant to walk it’s not a day down the mines.

@ChampagneProblemsTS The OP says that he doesn't have any physical issues though, he's a physically healthy 11-year-old. She also hasn't said that he doesn't want to do it- although I agree that in bad weather, he should go on the bus.

It's not about being competitive about exercise - see the World Health Organization guidelines for his age group

Children and adolescents aged 5-17 years

• Should do at least 60 minutes of moderate to vigorous-intensity physical activity daily.
• Physical activity of amounts more than 60 minutes daily provides additional health benefits.
• Should include activities that strengthen muscle and bone, at least 3 times per week.

Physical activity

I had to take 2 buses to and from school from age 11 and my first day was the first time I’d ever been on a bus, to a town I had never seen before to change buses to another town I’d never been in before and then ask directions to the school, which I’d never seen before ..1st year secondary in another county to my catchment area.

Why can’t you take him once on the bus so he can do it by himself thereafter on rainy / cold windy days and walk the days of better weather? Later I often used to walk to save my bus fares, or cycle.

Exactly @Sunbringer, it's good for humans to do daily moderate exercise! Yes, he shouldn't be walking in rainy or excessively cold weather, but otherwise it's fine.

I do take @bettyrubble99 's point though about the walking to and from the school taking up almost three of her day though, that's alot of time. Perhaps the best solution is walk one way and bus the other? They can switch it up depending on the weather.

Fucked over because a parent lets her anxiety impact her DC’s lives instead of tackling it in a timely manner. Untreated mental illness is bad for DC. Anxiety gets passed on to children and screws up their lives (and is harder to tackle when it’s multigenerational like this). And giving sufferers an excuse to give in to their anxiety instead of challenging it makes it more likely they won’t actually tackle it at all.

So tell that to the mum who won’t walk with her dc!

Could you and DS get a bike each? That would dramatically reduce the journey time. If you don’t have a bike there’s often some really good ones on Facebook marketplace.

On the positive side, you and your DS will get to spend lots of time together chatting.

I think I remember your other thread OP. It’s similar to my agorophobia type illness. I’m ok sometimes, other times not at all.

you are doing great OP. It’s fine to walk him there and back. Plus you’ve spoken to a GP. Flipping fantastic stuff x

days when you are up to it maybe get the bus with him and walk home after. Be kind to yourself.

The people saying you will pass it on are wrong it’s not an infection. When I became really ill and had a massive breakdown (I was later diagnosed with CPTSD agorophobia and so on) I was literally treated like I was contagious, made me so sad.

and to everyone else until you wake up one day and suddenly feel like this it’s literally beyond comprehension. I used to work in massive buildings, night clubs, around hundreds of people, be fine in shopping centres, on the tube. I went from that to not even being able to step on to my own drive if there were people around.