Is it horrible to make ds walk

It sounds like an excellent way to build exercise into a child’s day.

If he’s not getting too tired doing it then stick with it. It might be a mix turns out to be the best solution.

You can watch time pass forever -
the only way this will improve is graded exposure
go one stop
stick at that
then stay on bus for two stops

it doesn’t take time
it takes action
sorry if this is harsh

It's not going to be fun in the winter. You can't really expect him to sit in wet and cold clothes from a long walk to school.

Walk home by all means, get yourself some ear defenders or headphones for the actual trips. Doing 40 minutes walks 4 times a day in the winter will get old fast

40 mins is fine

It's probably ok normally but not if he has to carry a heavy bag, or if the weather is terrible, he will get soaked if it's raining , walking against wind and rain is a particularly horrible day to start the day

What is it about being near people that makes you anxious?

1.8 miles is a 10 minute cycle. He could cycle on the footpath you're planning to take. Quick, safe, and not a problem with agoraphobia. Adapted bikes exist if he needs one, good second hand prices.

That’s not a crazy distance to walk. I walk 1.4 miles to and from work every day, it’s as fast as any other option and unless the weather is extreme it’s enjoyable. A physically healthy 11 yo should have no difficulty with walking modest distances regularly and 40 mins for nearly 2 miles suggests it’s not too hilly. You having to also do the return journey makes it quite long but you say you’re fine with it. If the route is really rough or polluted or heavy traffic I’d potentially reconsider.

You both need good properly waterproof and warm shoes for the winter, and a good waterproof coat. Given all of that I’d say it’s fine unless he appears to be regularly struggling with the distance or complains about tiredness / pain. What does he think?

I hope you can make progress with your social anxiety and your world can get a bit less restricted over time.

Why do you need to be with him on the bus now he's 11?

He has Sen so assume he needs a bit longer

40 minutes isn't far at all, I'd imagine about 3 miles with a small child. It's no wonder we have such a problem with childhood obesity in this country when people think walking 3 miles to school is unthinkable and cruel.

He’s starting at SEN school. A lot of 11 year olds with SEN (especially severe enough to be granted a specialist school placement) will struggle with making their own way to school.

Just make yourself get on the bus. Walk home?

My youngest we have always had to take to school and pick up. Each child has different needs . Just because you have had one experience with raising children does not mean everyone should do it the same way.

It’s more that this parent is unable to use a bus due to their own anxieties and the child has NO option but to walk just under 2 miles each way to school and back regardless of weather or feeling tired / poorly whatever -

OP has said she can’t use a bus because she is anxious
and she has been to the doctors and is waiting for help re neurodivergences and mental health -
in the meantime, I would suggest that whatever the diagnoses are going to be, the remedy is the same -
start a graded exposure plan to using the bus
there will be no magic pill or wand
any help she is able to access - probably after significant waiting times will advise her to plan and implement a graded exposure plan -
she can do this maybe by going one stop on the bus on the way back from school drop off - so she is on her own and able to focus on breathing steady -
then build this up

Could he cycle? Or scoot? It's not very far at all to cycle.

Yes, they may have many heavy books to carry and sport kits ect.

One of the things the gp/specialists will mention at next appt (if they haven’t already) is basically doing the scary things, like going to the supermarket, getting on the bus.
i have the exact same combo of autism etc and one of the best things for social anxiety is doing the things. You can start slow, just journey there on the bus and walk back. But hiding from these situations and finding a million work arounds just ends up making the fear and anxiety worse and worse over time.

OP do you drive?

Means general public . He may not have to take stuff to and fro now but that may change in time. Could you manage bus partway?

" he chooses"

The key words that mean that this has nothing to do with the o.p's situation

This is awful.

Absolutely not.

I think what OP is proposing is more like 80 minutes walking a day though though - plus any sport at school or the general running round at break that dc tend to do.

I think it's ok, but pushing it when cold and miserable.

@BlueFahrenheit

why is walking awful? Do you find exercise in general aversive, or just walking?