It’s not you, it’s the holidays - why it’s OK to dread the chaos

Some parents love it. Some dread it. Most of us survive it. Either way, you shouldn’t feel guilty for counting down the days until school holidays are over. 

The truth is, for many of us, school holidays sound like a rest but feel like a marathon with added laundry. The time that’s supposed to be a break often ends up being the opposite - more noise, more mess and a to-do list that multiplies faster than a pack of hamsters. Especially at Christmas!

So, if you’re already feeling twitchy at the thought of another ‘family fun day’, here’s your permission slip to drop the guilt. You’re not a bad parent for finding it hard. You’re a normal one.

You’re not alone – Mumsnetters weigh in

Every parent has their breaking point, which is usually somewhere between the fourth snack request before 10am and the moment you realise you’ve been refereeing the same argument since Tuesday. 

This is where Mumsnet shines: the real talk, the solidarity, the humour that keeps you afloat. Here’s what parents on the forums have been saying about the rollercoaster that is the school holidays.

“I know IABU and should be treasuring this time to make memories but I’m fed up and it’s only Tuesday!” havetobecareful

“I absolutely share your feelings. It is so hard trying to keep everyone entertained and having to referee arguments every 10 minutes 😵‍💫 [...]” MsNevermore

“I have to say I don’t enjoy them either, especially when it has rained everyday since they broke up.” babystarsandmoon

Even just reading those is a reminder that it’s not you - it’s the school holidays.

Why the school holidays can feel so intense

It’s not just the noise or the constant snack requests. There are real reasons parents feel so frazzled by midweek:

• Broken routines: When bedtimes slide and mornings lose all shape, everyone’s fuse gets shorter.

• No childcare: Whether you’re working from home or trying to grab a moment’s peace, there’s no escape clause.

• Mental load: You’re the CEO of entertainment, catering and conflict resolution, all at once.

• Guilt: For working. For not doing enough. For secretly wanting a break.

• No time to yourself: Even a trip to the loo becomes a group outing.

All of this combined leads to something experts call ‘cognitive overload’ - that relentless mental work of keeping everything running.

Cognitive overload, often called the “mental load”, describes that invisible work of remembering, planning and anticipating family life. You’re not just doing things - you’re thinking about doing them, all the time. The British Psychological Society notes that around 63 per cent of women report carrying more than their fair share of this hidden workload, often alongside full-time jobs.

- Denny, Aqua Pura mascot

The Office for National Statistics found that women in the UK carry out around 60 per cent more unpaid work than men, including childcare, domestic admin and emotional support. It’s the unseen stuff - the “Did you pack your lunch?”, “When’s that birthday party?”, “What’s for tea?” chatter that never stops.

A University of Bath report backs this up, showing that mothers take on roughly seven in ten household tasks that require mental effort - things like remembering school dates, organising appointments and planning meals. Researchers describe it as “the mental effort of managing a household”, which grows heavier when routines fall apart (like during half terms and school holidays). 

Add in a week of disrupted schedules, bad weather, no childcare and children who need entertainment from dawn till dusk, and that mental load becomes overwhelming. It’s not laziness or poor organisation - it’s simply too much for one brain to juggle.

So if you’re snappy, spaced out or struggling to focus, that’s not failure - it’s cognitive overload doing its thing. And it’s completely normal.

Cognitive overload is a real thing and can get worse during school breaks

Things that actually help

Forget colour-coded timetables or Instagram-worthy craft sessions. The trick to surviving the holidays isn’t doing more - it’s expecting less. Here are a few tactics that might just make the week feel slightly more doable:

• Have a ‘do nothing’ day and make it sound intentional. (“We’re practising the art of rest.”)

• Let the kids binge-watch something harmless and rebrand it as “screen bonding”.

• Hide your best snacks somewhere they’ll never look, like behind the frozen peas or or in your gravy jug in the cupboard.

• Plan one ‘proper’ outing and make everything else optional.

• Lower the bar, then lower it again.

Denny’s note-to-self: “Hydration helps. So does hiding in the loo with your phone.”

And yes, drink some water. The smallest things - a quiet five minutes, a cup of tea, a cold bottle of Aqua Pura - can make the chaos feel a bit less like a storm.

Five moments to look out for (and bottle up)

Amid the bickering and boredom, there are always flashes of something softer. The moments that remind you why you keep quacking on.

1. That rare sibling hug that lasts longer than two seconds

2. A giggle fit over something completely daft

3. The kids finally playing with that toy you almost binned

4. Catching your reflection in the window and realising you’re… actually having fun

5. That little thought: “This is lovely, in a weird way.”

They’re fleeting, but they’re enough.

- Denny, Aqua Pura mascot

Parenting isn’t all sunshine and smiles, and brands like Aqua Pura get that. Think of them as your friendly northern cheerleader – here to help you keep paddling when the days feel long. Because sometimes the best way to cope isn’t to chase perfection, but just to stay afloat (with snacks and a sip of water within reach).

About Aqua Pura

Aqua Pura - Naturally filtered by Northern rocks

It’s better where it’s wetter – and our home in the Eden Valley, Cumbria, is the best. (Well, we like to think so.) Layers and layers of northern rock naturally filter our crisp, natural mineral water, giving Aqua Pura its purity. No nonsense and nothing added. Just wonderfully northern mineral water, bottled straight from the source!

About the author

Rebecca Roberts is a writer, editor, and content marketing expert hailing from Leeds. Here at Mumsnet, she commissions, writes, and edits to bring parents content designed to make life easier. After birthing and breastfeeding two babies in two years, Rebecca knows first-hand how hard it can be to prioritise yourself when you become a mother. 

Beyond her role as an editor here at Mumsnet, Rebecca can be found balancing life as a working mum of two toddlers and when she’s not at her desk, you’ll likely find her at a local playgroup, in a nearby coffee shop, or walking the dog up and down country lanes.