trans social contagion more likely in single sex school?

(84 Posts)
Twistiesandshout Thu 28-Jan-21 22:09:38

Inspired by another thread.

We have to choose between single or mixed sex senior school for DD. DD is not "girly' at all, and actively rejects stereotypical girl behaviour etc.

Lately with all the social contagion trans things I am reading I am getting worried about sending her to a single sex school. The girls school is my/our preferred choice and proudly states it is empowering young women of the future which I love.

So I thought I would ask here do you think social contagion is more or less likely in single sex school?

OP’s posts: |
PopperUppleton Thu 28-Jan-21 22:21:49

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Twistiesandshout Thu 28-Jan-21 22:34:32

shamefully, I honestly think I am too scared to ask! what if I am labelled as "that transphobic Mum" We will be moving counties and nobody will know us. Would hate for that to be the first thoughts people had about us.

OP’s posts: |
PopperUppleton Thu 28-Jan-21 23:08:36

You need to decide what is more important, your social standing or your daughter's health. Sorry to be brutal, but this ideology can be brutal on teenage girls' health.

ChestnutStuffing Thu 28-Jan-21 23:13:26

My gut feeling is that t is less likely in an all girls school. But I'm not sure that would be the most important factor - the leadership and the students themselves would be more relevant, I think.

I might be asking what they teach about the topic.

notyourhandmaid Thu 28-Jan-21 23:18:08

Ask if you can speak to any parents who have girls in the school (about everything) - data protection might limit their ability to give out info, but you can ask that your own info be passed onto people.

Asking about what happens if/when 'girls come out as gay or bi or trans' is a valid question, and the answers will be telling. One of the ugliest aspects of transgender ideology is its targeting of young lesbians, and if there aren't examples of young women being accepted in the school as gay - but there are tales of how inclusive the school is towards trans men - that will tell you a lot.

ArchbishopOfBanterbury Thu 28-Jan-21 23:26:04

I was at an all girl's school, and I think it was far less likely there. All subjects were female dominated so there wasn't so much comparison with stereotypical male and female "traits".

Ask the school. Those questions aren't transphobic, if your daughter became trans you'd want her to be in the right place.

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LiterallyProblematic Thu 28-Jan-21 23:49:32

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jeaux90 Thu 28-Jan-21 23:55:30

My DD 11 just started an all girls school in September.

I asked the question of the headmistress before final decision was made whether they had plans to cover gender identity and if so how as I was worried about that too.

Nothing wrong with having the conversation.

FifteenToes Fri 29-Jan-21 00:30:21

What exactly are you afraid is going to happen?

I would have thought the way a teenager makes sense of gender issues as they grow up is always going to be influenced by a complex mix of experiences and contacts in and out of school, their family, the media and the hours they spend on YouTube etc. unrelated to whatever school they're at.

notyourhandmaid Fri 29-Jan-21 01:50:44

FifteenToes

What exactly are you afraid is going to happen?

I would have thought the way a teenager makes sense of gender issues as they grow up is always going to be influenced by a complex mix of experiences and contacts in and out of school, their family, the media and the hours they spend on YouTube etc. unrelated to whatever school they're at.

Many, many schools follow (deliberately) misleading guidance from Stonewall et al and do things like:
- hosting talks from Stonewall speakers, including beardy 'lesbians'
- teaching gender ideology as fact
- changing a child's gender and name on a school register while keeping this secret from parents (the most concerning)

fastwigglylines Fri 29-Jan-21 02:00:52

Twistiesandshout

shamefully, I honestly think I am too scared to ask! what if I am labelled as "that transphobic Mum" We will be moving counties and nobody will know us. Would hate for that to be the first thoughts people had about us.

There are ways to ask the question that don't give away which angle you're coming from.

When my DS was little, I wanted to make sure we weren't sending him to an overly religious school (not everyone realises, all UK state schools are supposed to provide an act of worship.that's broadly Christian in nature. Or at least that used to be the case 7 years ago, no idea if it's changed).

I didn't want to bias the responses so I asked "how does the school approach with the government requirement to provide religious worship?" as neutrally as I could and the answers they gave showed me the two local schools had a very different approach.

Similarly, think how a patent who supported transitioning children might ask the question and try to come up with something in the middle of theirs and yours, that doesn't give your views away.

e.g. "how does the school support children who identify as boys" (for the girls school) or "Does the school have a policy on gender identity?" Or similar

yaboo Fri 29-Jan-21 02:25:11

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peak2021 Fri 29-Jan-21 07:21:45

I have my doubts it would be, but all my nieces attended mixed schools and the youngest is now 21- the world has changed.

Asking the questions as suggested by others above seems a sensible option. The lack of the possibility of someone born male going into the girls toilets is something to consider.

Helmetbymidnight Fri 29-Jan-21 07:49:44

anecdotally, id say yes but have no stats

personally, i know several 'n-b' girls at the girls grammar and only 1 at the mixed comp.

whiteroseredrose Fri 29-Jan-21 08:11:06

DD is at an all girls school and last time we talked about it there were three 'boys' there and one male teacher who came back after the summer hols as a trans woman.

They've stopped saying 'good morning girls' in assembly and refer to the 'boys' by their male names. No efforts to make them change schools. One of them made the odd decision to go into the girls sixth form instead of the boys equivalent and was accepted there. (According to DS that was a good move as they wouldn't have been socially accepted at the boy's school).

Unfortunately they're very woke and the girls are lead to believe that these trans boys really are boys (God knows how biology deal with it) which has lead to interesting discussions with DD over the past few years! Not sure if this is because it's a girls school and girls are expected to be 'nice' or whether it would be the same in a mixed school.

RoyalCorgi Fri 29-Jan-21 08:17:39

You've raised a very interesting question, OP. I don't know the answer when it comes to social contagion of trans ideas, but it seems that anorexia is more prevalent in single-sex girls' schools:

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/04/20/pupils-at-all-girls-schools-far-more-likely-to-suffer-from-anore/

PeterPandemic Fri 29-Jan-21 08:18:31

My friend's DD goes to an all girls private secondary and the head made a point to say that they only had girls changing rooms, and girls there could have their hair in whatever style and wear trousers if they liked and wouldn't be asked to leave, but that they would not be accepting actual boys. She's left now - the head, so I dont know if the ethos had changed but I got the impression she was a very old school woman who had seen it all.

Sheleg Fri 29-Jan-21 08:19:45

Utter madness. I'm actually seriously thinking of sending my DD to a strictly Orthodox girls school (we're Jewish) to escape the ideology that seems to have infiltrated education. I would honestly rather have her in a school that teaches women to be homemakers and mothers than one which tells them they can be male if they feel like it. Talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place.

UrsulaVdL Fri 29-Jan-21 08:28:19

I went to a single sex school, and now live in a place where only mixed sex is available for my daughters.

Given the choice, I would pick single sex. The inoculation against gender ideology, and the sexism + homophobia underpinning it, takes place at home.

The older sister of a classmate is (or maybe was) Trans-identifying. My kids know that it is not possible to change sex, and we talked about whether it is actually nice and kind to pretend that she is a boy.

By the time the boys are 11, the sexism is quite open from them generally.
So I would pick single sex, unhesitatingly.

fastwigglylines Fri 29-Jan-21 08:31:25

I think what matters most is the school ethos, not whether it's single sex or not tbh and you can only find they out by asking.

We have some very woke schools in the woke town down the road, with loads of trans kids. And very few in the town I live in.

RoyalCorgi Fri 29-Jan-21 08:40:49

At least at a single-sex school, the girls won't have boys grabbing their tits and calling them sluts which, as well as being an advantage in itself, removes one of the pressures for identifying as trans.

persistentwoman Fri 29-Jan-21 08:44:16

Take a look at their website OP. If they're a Stonewall champion then that's a problem as they've signed up to mangling of the law and being anti science & anti women and girls. Look at how their equality / safeguarding and Sex Relationships policies are worded and see if there's a trans policy.
If trans issues are sympathetic but balanced, it's likely that this is a school that focuses on the needs of children. If it's full of trans training, ideology and language then it's a clue that they are following the demands of adult lobby groups that are not child friendly or safeguarding compliant.

bourbonne Fri 29-Jan-21 08:51:17

There are definitely all-girls' schools with clusters of this. Friendship groups of largely (what would be) lesbian or bi girls.

Yamayo Fri 29-Jan-21 08:59:00

My 14 year old goes to a single sex school.

According to her there is a particular clique of girls who are either pan or n-b, they use they pronouns and have cancelled JK Rowling and all her supporters.
We did get a vague message a couple of years ago about being tolerant and accepting of trans girls too.
I might be cynical but it feels like the whole thing is half-hearted.
DD is rather bemused by it all.

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