‘Gender neutral’ toilets - first experience

[Womaninnit]

This morning went to the cafe of a well known theatre in central London. Now the toilets are ‘gender neutral’. I’ve seen so many threads on this. I’ve used these toilets before at performances and god knows the queues are horrendous at a performance but today there was only me in there - but, boy I could smell male wee! I hadn’t thought about this small aspect before. Not very nice and instinctively felt I was in the wrong place.

Sounds grim. Was the seat left up? I used one in starbucks and the man came out then I went in. It was smelly and I had to put the seat down. I felt grubby and a bit miserable.

I clean toilets used by the public and have done off and on for years. Men's loos stink and they never seem to bother to clean up after splattering their bodily fluids all over the place 🤮

I'd rather pee down a drain than use the men's toilets.

I was creeped out by the gender neutral (obviously repurposed m/f) loos at a central London venue last week. Both labelled 'with urinals and sanitary disposal bins'. Lots of studios with different things happening. Young teens and adults at various events. Prospect of young girls having to walk past blokes cock in hand at urinal to get to a cubicle. No. I went and loudly asked for directions to the ladies' - at least there was one downstairs.

Complain!!!! Enough people complained to a theatre in my local city that they backtracked.

It's so retrograde. Heading back to Victorian times, when public conveniences were always for gentlemen, as ladies would stay at home.

Did anyone see the “jokey” section on the one show about gender neutral changing rooms, it was so trite, like it was no biggie and the male presenter Ashley Banjo basically said we should just get used to it really irritated me, yeah I’m sure you will be happy Ashley for your teenage daughter sharing changing rooms with grown men, are people so really hard of thinking?

Glad to hear there are more gender neutral toilets! Shame about the wee smell.

What happened to the word unisex?

I use the one where I work because there is never a queue for it (there are three toilets, M/F and GN) unlike the others. It's always spotless.

Oh no is it the old Vic?

Went to pub with gender neutral/accessible toilet. Luckily on my own . But only wash basin was literally a few inches from a urinal which made me feel it was somewhat unhygenic

I don't mind unisex toilets that are self contained.

I visited somewhere the other day where it was "toilets with cubicles" and "toilets with cubicles and urinals". Cleanliness was fine, but all that has actually happened if that the number of loos men can use has doubled and the number women to use has stayed the same. Ultimately, the men use the urinal one and women the other one, so they're fine, but I would find it really annoying if that wasn't the case.

Self-contained cubicles, fine, cubicles with separate sinks, OK but feels weird. I would utterly kick off if there were urinals though. I would just ask for the ladies loos repeatedly.

The term "gender neutral" toilets is an ubfuscation and euphemism, trying to make them sound nice and "inclusive". Let's call them what they are: mixed sex toilets, and I really have to scratch my head about why this would be a good idea.
Complain, complain, complain. Boycott places that have them and stir up the public to also boycott those places and make the reason known. Money talks.

I had a horrible experience in a burger restaurant in Westfield. There are about 4 or 5 toilets with their own floor to ceiling doors and sinks inside. They all come off from quite a large corridor, with other utility doors and blind spots, through a door from the main restaurant- no orderly queuing was possible with the lay out, you just had to nab one when it became free, so it felt a bit confrontational to settle between you who went in where. It felt intimidating to step into that corridor and immediately catch eyes with a big bloke - who looked either like he was annoyed, up to something or something else a bit off, me with 2 kids. It was unwelcoming and I wanted to turn back. The kids needed to go to the toilet though.

I found it intimidating not knowing who was going to emerge from behind the door whilst under pressure to tell my kids to nab one that became free. One opened and I let my daughter in - PISS ALL OVER THE SEAT - so bad it looked deliberate. I had to wipe it, feeling guilty I didn't check for other dc. I went in with her and again, when it was time to get out, felt nervous opening the door because I had no idea who the hell would be standing outside - perhaps right outside the door when I opened it. I felt panicky because my other dc hadnt emerged because a perve inside a cubicle could easily pull an unsuspecting child in there with them. It was quite noisy so you wouldn't really hear anything if they did.

It was awful. I absolutely hated it. Please don't let this be the future.

@WeRiseUp: complain! Let the restaurant know how uncomfortable it was for you and your kids.

It was really clear to me that:

Mixed sex space (gender neutral) = men's space.

Men dominate it while women and children scurry around looking to get out and be somewhere safe, well-lit and public as soon as possible.

Lamaha I remember at the time I was sort of psyched to write in to complain but there are always so many things to do it fell by the wayside. My feeling was that they would need to remodel the whole area to provide single sex toilets, so I dont know what difference it would make.

I have always loathed the fact that men (usually) leave splatter all over the seats and the floor of their toilets, and never clean up after themselves. It's always the women who have to clean up after them, as in WeRiseUp's post above.

I lived in Germany for over 40 years and there is a movement there to raise boys to sit on the toilet to wee. Many do. I know my landlady's youngest son does it. However, it's not considered cool among men: they are derided as "Sitzpinkler" (Wee-sitters) and there was even a court case that ruled in their favour: www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-30937492

Then there's the "leaving the seat up" business which is also annoying. I taught my son to always put it down again, and he does.

Self contained unisex toilets are fine - not sure when unisex became gender neutral? The problem is users not the concept. Obviously in bigger places multiple sets of toilets are need but with smaller one with just a couple of toilets it's better anyone can use them

I frequently have a meetings in a government department that only has gender neutral toilets. They are what used to be the Ladies so have flimsy cubicles and communal wash basins. The other day I went in to brush my hair and touch up my make up. As I did a young man came out of one of the cubicles. He looked really embarrassed at having to wash in front of me. I asked him if I could ask him what he though of mixed sex toilets. He said he didn't like them. I said I agreed and then asked why he thought we needed them given that probably much of the work force felt the same. He went even more red and as he left just said 'I can't say anything. I'm very sorry. I know you need your privacy'. So women not the only sufferers?

In this same building my colleague who is in a wheel chair has to go to a different floor using two cranky old lifts and use the only disabled toilet in the building - but apparently that's ok because she doesn't need to feel included the way certain others have to be.

Self contained unisex toilets are fine

My experience with them wasn't at all fine. It was intimidating, unpleasant and unhygienic.

'I can't say anything. I'm very sorry. I know you need your privacy'

Decent blokes like this need to start saying something.

I work in a place with lots of young people and the loos are always busy. There is one building I go to with a mixed sex toilet and it is always empty. No-one, of either sex, seems to use it. In fact I have only ever seen women in there.

So I conclude men don't like them either.

There is one building I go to with a mixed sex toilet and it is always empty. No-one, of either sex, seems to use it. In fact I have only ever seen women in there.

It's like that with the one that I know as well, it seems very unpopular.

I find it infuriating when places have relabelled the accessible toilet as gender neutral. Why should somebody who needs an accessible space to accommodate a wheelchair or an invisible disability have to wait so somebody who has a choice of toilets to use can be pandered to. Why is the need of somebody who is trans more important than somebody in a wheelchair who has no choice about which toilet to use?