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maninism/mens rights!!

(311 Posts)
jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:12:01

why are good loving fathers not given equal rights, why are we forced to spend thousands and go through lengthy court battles for the right to be a father to our own children all because the mother is so selfish and self centered that she can decide to do this with no regard for her childs happiness and future well-being just because she can out of spite and nastiness towards her ex partner. Many thousands of men have not been allowed to see or speak to their children for weeks or years and many simply cannot afford to continue their legal pursuit and are forced to give up for this exact reason. And yet these women have the audacity to call them themselves mothers, its laughable they are barely human beings.
Fathers are EQUALY important as mothers yet the law and some women's attitudes do not seem to reflect this. I know of a man who did everything he could to be part of his childs life, paid 36,000 in csa payments and was forced to have little contact with that child,then 10 years after she was born, rumours came out that that child wasnt his, a dna test confirmed this! Her motive? GREED, it is an all to common story, so many "mums" do not even consider how keeping their childs father out of their lives affects them in the the short and long term without even mentioning its moraly wrong. Any mum who takes there children away from there dad. doesn't deserve the bloody title! OUR children is the only way you can hurt us, which is why you use them as weapons and pawns in your sick twisted games, so how about you grow up realise life is too short, and that your children's happiness is actually MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR OWN! you may have your children now when they are young but i promise you you'll lose them when they learn the truth they will NEVER forgive you for destroying their special relationship with their dad and ensuring they had a s**t childhood, and let that be on your conscience,not that you have one or a soul or a heart or brain.
So stop punishing your children let their dads have access to them as much as you do, that is called EQUALITY.
this rant is aimed at all the dead beat"mums", i realise and recognise that the majority of mums are amazing and do the right thing by their kids by letting their father play a prominent role in their lives, as it should be. And obviously not all dads are worthy of that title either but i'm not talking about them i have as much respect for them as i do for these women that my comments are directed at.
Il be here waiting for your comments i felt it necessary to voice these facts in the lion's den so to speak, we need to be heard, fathers NEED equal rights.

TiggyD Sun 21-Oct-12 00:18:18

In any group of people there is always going to be some nutters/unpleasant people.

Wetthemogwai Sun 21-Oct-12 00:21:39

I see what you're saying but I don't agree, sorry.

And as far as I know csa asks for a DNA test before they start the payment process don't they?

Yama Sun 21-Oct-12 00:28:52

Have you looked at the numbers my man? You and your chums may want to be a part of your children's lives but statistically many, many men don't.

It is your own gender who are letting you down my friend, not mine. So kindly stop with the insults, the snide anecdotes, the hatred and focus on turning males into proper fathers. You know, the kind children actually can depend on.

ConsiderCasey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:32:47

I'm sorry OP but I don't personally know any woman who has barred contact so I couldn't tell you what was going on in their minds I'm afraid.

SomersetONeil Sun 21-Oct-12 00:33:27

Take it up with all the men giving the rest of you a bad name, rather than us.

smile

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:41:01

no they certainly do not, when my ex never came home one day with my baby boy of 1 month, i received and letter two weeks later from csa i was never on the birth certificate because she wouldn't let me attend so legally iam not his father which is why i have NO rights at all, but the only organisation that calls me a father is surprise surprise the csa because they want my money and all they care about is my money, you must request a dna test.
and dont get me wrong i would spend most of my wages every week on my son if i was allowed to be his dad but i haven't seen or heard if he's well or sick for 8 months not even a pic, yet iam forced to fund "terroism" of my son by funding their life without me its wrong if you want me to pay like a dad then treat me like one!!
have you ever paid csa or is you comment a wild guess??
keep em coming im full of logical answers!

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:44:03

then i say to you take it up with all the women given you a bad name but then that would be a stupid childish thing to say though wouldn't it because then nothing would ever get resolved not to mention that is an incredibly sexist thing to say!

ConsiderCasey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:47:45

"yet iam forced to fund "terroism" of my son by funding their life without me its wrong if you want me to pay like a dad then treat me like one!!
have you ever paid csa or is you comment a wild guess??"

OP your posts are very confusing. Are you talking to your ex-girlfriend or to us?

ravenAK Sun 21-Oct-12 00:47:57

Have we been invaded by Fathers Against Coherency again?

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:48:50

again yama another weak argument there are as many shit father's as there are mother's so please stop making sexist generalisations iam not talking about entire genders iam talking about minoritys so try reading my orignal post all the way to the bottom and stop being so narrow minded!

DuelingFanjo Sun 21-Oct-12 00:52:07

wy do you call mmsnet 'the lion's den'? or do you mean the feminism part of mumsnet?

Do you think this is a feminist issue in particular?

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:53:07

iam not really seeing any constructive comments here ladies just immature defensive remarks that are avoiding the issue i have raised, or are you simply proving my point. this IS NOT about men vs women THIS IS ABOUT WHAT IS RIGHT FOR OUR CHILDREN

DuelingFanjo Sun 21-Oct-12 00:54:53

" i would spend most of my wages every week on my son if i was allowed to be his dad but i haven't seen or heard if he's well or sick for 8 months not even a pic"

surely the mot important thing is that you provide for your flesh and blood? you can't have a go at women and tell them their kids are going to hate them for messing up their lives but then say you refuse to contribute financially to your child's keep. Man up and do the right thing, are you putting any money away in an account for him at least?

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 00:55:35

mumsnet not femininsm iam not sexist this post is about rights! and its a lion's den because its me up against all of you.

DuelingFanjo Sun 21-Oct-12 00:58:30

" and its a lion's den because its me up against all of you" wouldn't it be more constructive for you to spend your time and energy trying to see your son, through the courts? If your ex is asing the CSA to get money off you then surely she is claiming you are the father and so you will have rights to see your son?

What advice are you seeking? The best thing you can do is work towards seeing your son and being in his life, by working with his mother and the courts. Paying towards his upkeep would give you more chance of this happening.

ConsiderCasey Sun 21-Oct-12 01:00:36

Jiveturkey, I think you are being hypocritical in accusing others of generalising when you are calling upon feminists to take responsibility for the actions of other women we don't even know.

Your tone is very accusatory. I'm sure that is because you are hurt but it really doesn't do to push people on the defensive, especially people who are very supportive of men who want to be good fathers, as evidenced by the support on this forum for fathers to have more family friendly workplace policies.

Why don't you have a look at that first?

Aspiemum2 Sun 21-Oct-12 01:00:41

I'm having a tough time trying to decipher your posts confused

You are clearly very angry at your ex, you may or may not have reason to be. It's sort of hard to tell.

It is really irrelevant though as when it comes to contact it's the child's right rather than the man or woman's so your title is misleading

confused think I'll leave this to experienced MNers, I prefer light and fluffy anyway

HanSolo Sun 21-Oct-12 01:01:16

Why do you assume all MNers are women?

Did you love, respect, and support the mother of your child? She obviously didn't think so...

peanutMD Sun 21-Oct-12 01:04:39

There is no clear answer to your OP, each individual has their own motives be they right or wrong and unless we know the full facts we cannot judge.

I assume by your post that you are currently in this situation?
Have you spoke to citizens advice regarding the CSA?

I only ask as based on my experience (well more my mothers) men are entitled to a DNA test before any payments can commence, perhaps you should pressure this route and freeze payments if that us what you want.

As fat as I am concerned, through personal knowledge there are estranged parents of both genders who face issues with child contact because of an ex so its not just 'dead beat mums'who are capable of causing problems.

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 01:04:42

i pay csa every week as i always have done and we continue to do so but it doesnt mean i agree with it whilst iam not part of his life. and i completely agree with you being there flesh and blood for a child is more important so why are we denied this right, iam still waiting for my court date to get pr and contact order its taken 7 months so far i have tried everything in my power and will continue to do so until iam reunited with my beautiful baby boy. my ex is autistic i stood by her for ten years iam 25 now but she has fallen out with every member of her family my family and myself cutting all contact due to her condition.

ConsiderCasey Sun 21-Oct-12 01:07:10

Instead of ranting at us and calling us immature (which is a more accurate description of your original post) why don't you tell us more about your individual case. We might be able to help you.

I will start by asking on what grounds your ex is refusing you access?

DuelingFanjo Sun 21-Oct-12 01:07:16

what does her autism have to do with anything?

Wetthemogwai Sun 21-Oct-12 01:08:37

Call Jezza, he'll sort it

jiveturkey Sun 21-Oct-12 01:09:19

thankyou peanut for your constructive post, the trouble is with getting a dna test is it looks very bad in court if you are trying to establish contact with said child so your shooting yourself in the foot if it turns out to be your child, the csa do not ask you, either the mother or father must request a dna test if they have doubts

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