Is being a SAHP really mind numbing?!

[grey12]

I was reading another thread here in MN that said this. It caught my eye and definitely it's not the first time I heard it. It seems to be a common thing to say.

I am a SAHM and mind numbing is the last adjective I would use to describe it!! Am I the only one?!

I am exhausted! Tired! Annoyed at times! I have no time for myself, I poop with the door open! I have little chance to pursue hobbies or go to the gym. But mind numb?! No. My toddlers keep on my toes. They change interests and development every few months. They are loving and easy to make laugh. They have the ability to make ME laugh which isn't super easy...

Most jobs became very routine. You have do the same boring tasks and deal with the same people every day.

What I mean is, there are downsides to SAHP but why pick this one?!

[Mummyofboys88]

I have been a SAHM for the last 5 years. I totally agree with you.

[SallyWD]

I remember when DD was a baby over 6 months and up to about 18 months sometimes finding it boring. I remember the days feeling very long and not being sure how to fill the hours/entertain her. We'd go to the park for an hour and then be at home and go from room to room trying to keep her amused. She was not the sort of child to let me get on with other stuff! I had to give my full attention at all times. I remember my cousin also telling me that she didn't know how to fill the days and was bored when her child was about 1. It's that particular age that's hard. When they're newborns they sleep a lot or go in a sling and you can get on with stuff, when they're 2 or 3 they can play with toys, play in the garden etc. When they're around 1 there's not much they can do and you have to spend a lot of time just sitting with them or pulling them away from dangerous situations.

[firstimemamma]

I love being a sahm and there is no time to be bored!

[superram]

I found being at home boring-sorry. I need my interactions to be a bit more high brow than nursery rhymes (but I wouldn’t say this in front of you because I’m not a knob). However, I’m not judging you but I’m sure you may be judging me for going back to work full time. Horses for courses, I can’t get worked up about it.

[emmaxlouise88xxxx]

Everyone is different aren't they? Nothing at all wrong with that. I love being a SAHM, but I completely understand others who need/want to go back to work full time.

[Somethingorotherorother]

I lasted 3 months - went from a rewarding, interesting job that made me think to endless rounds of Twinkle Twinkle, "but why mummy" and stopping her putting stuff in her mouth. It wasn't boring, i was too busy to be bored, but it absolutely was mind-numbing. It wasn't stimulating, i didn't think an interesting thought or have a complex conversation for months and it was maddening. I think maybe if you don't enjoy work, or don't need much intellectual stimulus, it's not so bad, but i got deeply depressed. Luckily my husband much prefers toddler convo to teaching, so we swapped.

[saraclara]

I loved the few years I was a SAHM. I managed to fill my week quite easily with social stuff, and I loved watching the development of my kids. But despite having a hugely stimulating and rewarding job in between, I also love retirement now. So I seem to be able to love both stimulating work and being home based, which is really fortunate.

I totally understand those mums who want to go back to work, so I don't know why the pp thinks that while she doesn't judge SAHMs, she assumes they judge her. Isn't it pretty much the norm to go back to work?

[UltimateWednesday]

Hmm, I knew I needed to go back to work the day I stood dithering in the supermarket over what colour washing up liquid to buy, like it was actual important decision.

I wasn't bored as a SAHM, I kept busy with activities and groups but I was missing intellectual stimulation.

I agree a lot of jobs also lack that though.

[eddiemairswife]

I enjoyed it. I had 3 under 4 years, and the oldest one was nearly 6 when the youngest was born. I liked watching how they developed at different stages, I used to read to them all the time. We had no car then, and lived miles away from both families, so no support network that people seem to rely on. The great blessing was that they were all great sleepers, both for naps and at night (once the night feeds were over). I don't think I read a book (apart from Doctor Spock} for several years, but managed the newspaper each day. Cloth nappies and no washing machine until expecting the 3rd.

[ExpectingToFly]

It was lovely when I had one but now I have three it is just so mind numbing exhausting, relentless and so so boring

[chunkyrun]

Works respite and uni I get to use a different part of my brain

[StuntCroissant]

I found it mind-numbing. Like some of the PP I had/have a mentally very challenging job and so I struggled swapping this for endless renditions of "say hello to the sun" and "baby shark". I wouldn't say I was bored because I was incredibly busy with three under three - but I definitely missed intellectual interactions.

I don't judge anyone who feels differently though. We are all so different it stands to reason that we enjoy different things.

[Tardigrade001]

I was SAHM for a long time. It's only mind-numbing if you allow it to be. We went out a lot and did tons of stuff. Many jobs are way more mind-numbing than that. Obvious downsides are not being paid (obviously) and possibly struggling financially, the uncertainty of future job opportunities and low status. Plus lack of free time, because the job is 24/7.

[user135664323455]

Defensive much?

[Viviennemary]

It's not for me. Unless I had a full time nanny. Then it might be OK.

[user135664323455]

Most jobs became very routine. You have do the same boring tasks and deal with the same people every day.

By doing this, you are no different or better than the posters who have irritated you so much.

[527040minutes]

I'm in the process of looking for work as I feel a bit brain dead. DS is 21 months now, and at the point of trying to climb and stick stuff in his mouth that he shouldn't. I do find it mind numbing and monotonous. I'd have gone back earlier if not for issues with childcare and both of my children's health that needed dealing with first.

[InkieNecro]

I did find it mind numbing. I think I would enjoy it more if they were older so we could play properly rather than me constantly doing up a lid for them to unscrew or putting endless velcro fruits back together.

Definitely happier once I went back to work!

[FrugiFan]

I dont find it mind numbing but it is less exhausting and stressful than working (in my experience of work anyway).
I do have time for hobbies and I volunteer once a week in normal times. I do work in a self employed capacity 2 evenings a week so I dont know if I "count" as a SAHM but I find that little bit of work keeps me on my toes.

[InkieNecro]

@Tardigrade001

I was SAHM for a long time. It's only mind-numbing if you allow it to be. We went out a lot and did tons of stuff. Many jobs are way more mind-numbing than that. Obvious downsides are not being paid (obviously) and possibly struggling financially, the uncertainty of future job opportunities and low status. Plus lack of free time, because the job is 24/7.

But you still get the lack of free time after work, you work and then jump straight into childcare with no break.

Pre-virus I did take them out a lot as I work part time, play groups, park, friends, sea life centre, walks, etc. I still find it mind numbing.

[FrugiFan]

Plus lack of free time, because the job is 24/7.
If you're a single parent yes but surely if you're in a couple you should have as much free time as your partner on evenings/weekends. Being a working parent is also 24/7 - working for 8 hours a day and parenting the other 16.

[Ginnymweasley]

Different people like different things. My friend went back to work after 5 months I am a sahm. It works for her this works for me. Im not better than her and she isnt better than me. Why do other women feel the need to judge others on their life choices. It's like the driving thread, loads of women slagging off other women for making different choices. And this was judging OP just done in a flowery "look how interesting my kids are when jobs are so boring" way.

[Cauterize]

I was a SAHM for three years and I wouldn't say it was mind numbing but I found it incredibly stressful and isolating.

Also trying desperately to fill the days as mine was a whirlwind and difficult to contain in the house all day.

I was chomping at the bit to get back to work in the end. They are now at school and I went part time so best of both worlds! I get a bit of time to myself in the week and can be around for them in the holidays.

[grey12]

@user135664323455 Sorry you didn't seem to understand. It was just a comment on the choice of words of some people. I had a job I enjoyed and was interesting and in my field. But tbh after 2/3 months I could do it with my eyes closed.

For other posters, I have a PhD. Yes, talks at uni with my colleagues were great! And also better than at work.

I suppose personalities are different. I never thought I would be a SAHM but I do enjoy it.

[LonginesPrime]

What I mean is, there are downsides to SAHP but why pick this one?

Everyone has different interests, motivations and boredom thresholds.

IME, the people who describe their experience of being a SAHP as mind-numbing have either decided to do something that interests them more (which explains why being a SAHP was comparatively less interesting to them) or they feel they have done more interesting things before or intend to in the future.

I don't think it's anything specific about SAHP though - I know heaps of people who describe working in an office as mind-numbing too!