From MNHQ: The Home Office on how to get help for domestic abuse during the coronavirus crisis

[BojanaMumsnet]

Hello

You may have seen the Home Office’s #YouAreNotAlone campaign launch over the weekend. It includes some information on how to get help so we thought it would be useful to flag that up here.

Thanks

MNHQ

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Please note that the household isolation instruction as a result of COVID-19 does not apply if you need to leave your home to escape domestic abuse.

You can call the National Domestic Abuse Helpline for free and confidential advice, 24 hours a day on 0808 2000 247.

If you are in immediate danger, call 999 and ask for the police.
If you are in danger and unable to talk on the phone, call 999 and listen to the questions from the operator and if possible, respond by coughing or tapping the head set.

Calling 999 from a mobile, when prompted by an automated police message, press 55 to Make Yourself Heard and this will transfer your call to the police.
Pressing 55 only works on mobiles and does not allow police to track your location.

Calling 999 from a landline, if only background noise can be heard and operators cannot decide whether an emergency service is needed, then you will be connected to a police call handler.

If you replace the handset, the landline may remain connected for 45 seconds in case you pick up again.

When 999 calls are made from landlines, information about your location should be automatically available to the call handlers to help provide a response.

Where to get help

National Domestic Abuse Helpline
The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is run by Refuge and offers free, confidential support 24 hours a day to victims and those who are worried about friends and loved ones.
Telephone: 0808 2000 247

The Men’s Advice Line
The Men’s Advice Line is a confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them.
Telephone: 0808 801 0327

Galop -for members of the LGBT+ community
Galop runs the National LGBT+ domestic abuse helpline.
Telephone: 0800 999 5428
Email: [email protected]

Women’s Aid
Women’s Aid has a live chat service and an online survivor’s forum. You can also find your local domestic abuse service on their website.
The Survivor’s Handbook, created by Women’s Aid, provides information on housing, money, helping your children and your legal rights.

Karma Nirvana
Karma Nirvana runs a national honour-based abuse helpline.
Telephone: 0800 5999 247
Email: [email protected]

Hestia
Hestia provides a free mobile app, Bright Sky, which provides support and information to anyone who may be in an abusive relationship or those concerned about someone they know.

Chayn
Chayn provides online help and resources in a number of languages about identifying manipulative situations and how friends can support those being abused.

Imkaan
Imkaan are a women’s organisation addressing violence against black and minority women and girls.

Southall Black Sisters
Southall Black Sisters offer advocacy and information to Asian and Afro-Caribbean women suffering abuse.

Stay Safe East
Stay Safe East provides advocacy and support services to disabled victims and survivors of abuse.

SignHealth
SignHealth provides domestic abuse service support for deaf people in British Sign Language (BSL).
Telephone: 020 3947 2601
Email: [email protected]

Shelter
Shelter provide free confidential information, support and legal advice on all housing and homelessness issues.

Sexual Assault Referral Centres
Sexual Assault Referral Centres provide advice and support services to victims and survivors of sexual assault or abuse.

Wales Live Fear Free Helpline
The Wales Live Fear Free Helpline offers help and advice about violence against women, domestic abuse and sexual violence.
Telephone: 0808 8010 800

[Post edited by MNHQ for clarity]

[DidIMissSomething]

Great post @bojanaMumsnet - can you edit the silent 999 function part of the post as this has been badly publicised - it's really important that callers listen and follow the prompts as just pressing 55 will not alert the police - it has to be done at the right time. I see you linked the poster but many will miss this - thanks.

[BojanaMumsnet]

@DidIMissSomething

Great post *@bojanaMumsnet* - can you edit the silent 999 function part of the post as this has been badly publicised - it's really important that callers listen and follow the prompts as just pressing 55 will not alert the police - it has to be done at the right time. I see you linked the poster but many will miss this - thanks.

Hi, thanks for pointing this out - I've edited that line, hope it's clearer now.

[Thelnebriati]

You can also set up EmergencySMS, but you have to do it in advance of needing to send a 999 text;

www.emergencysms.net

www.emergencysms.net/files/3649_esms_6.pdf

1. Send the word ‘register’ in an SMS message to 999
2. You will then receive SMS messages about the service
3. When you have read these SMS messages reply by sending ‘yes’ in an SMS message to 999
4. You will receive a SMS message telling you that your mobile phone is registered or if there is a problem with your registration.

If you are deaf, hard of hearing, or speech-impaired use EmergencySMS or Relay UK (BT app)
www.relayuk.bt.com/how-to-use-relay-uk/contact-999-using-relay-uk.html

[elQuintoConyo]

Giving a

[Caro321]

I'm fed up of partner always moaning .I never can do anything right .we've been together 22 years .fed up .he's like an overgrown schoolboy sometimes

[RainMinusBow]

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is virtually impossible to get through on. I'm heavily pregnant and have ongoing issues with my ex-husband-have been trying to get through at all times of the day and night for days. Eventually you just get put through to an answer machine facility, nobody ever answers your call

[20mum]

Did you know domestic abuse is not defined by happening in the place of living? It is defined by being carried out by a correctly defined abuser.
Nor is the ease or difficulty of immediate unaided escape taken into account.

The victim may be elderly or disabled, may be in a shared flat or sofa surfing, may be in a care home or hospital or hostel, may be in her own private home but with carers having access, may be officially or unofficially renting or subrenting. In all such circumstances the place she lives is the only place she can call home, with nowhere else to go.

Anyone or any group can choose to abuse her, in one or all of the ways listed as domestic abuse, but unless the assailant fits a tick box list, it is not 'correct ' domestic abuse and she can get no help or escape or redress, nor dare she notify the police, because her sole escape from abuse in her home is to run away and sleep in the street. The tick box list includes a narrow version of officially permitted relationships. Attack inside the home by fellow residents, carers, landlords or even the 'wrong' family members is deemed non domestic.. or non existent...or not worthy of consideration. Many cram into flat shares and sofa surfing and even live in attics or sheds or basements. Many are abused by landlords or sub landlords, by the 'wrong 'carers or family members or cohabitees.

The 'right' relationship of partner or ex partner is broadly defined to include, at the extreme, abuse in the form of shouting from the street by someone never resident, without any prospect of entry to the home or any threat, but correctly involved in a 'personal relationship ' by having in the distant past a one night stand.


Presumably the wives of Phillip Green or Bill Gates could immediately leave home and settle comfortably into a luxurious place of safety, with their own security guards. However the inflexible tramline processing would seek to give them priority for council housing, and teams of people to steer them through claiming benefits and legal aid and going to court and getting a social worker and special police treatment.

[Caro321]

Partner nags and moans critical of everything I do . Just trying to react differently .keeping a log. Fed up

[LgSm2006]

@Caro321 I’m in the same position I’ve asked him to look online to address his stress which he doesn’t manage well and he talks down to me for example we were in Asda and he shouted ‘will you just do as your told’ and I want him to look online for anger management too... it’s so hard

[Caro321]

Try and write everything down and keep in safe place. I'm logging everything even if it's just to clarify things for yourself. I've started texting him to avoid arguments even though we live in same house !

[Clairerichy]

My partner of 4 years, started sexting a colleague back in Dec, I found out in Feb they were still seeing each other, our relationship ended, I found out he moved in with here for a week and they were still seeing each other. He has now ended it and moved back home, he says he will quit his job, and that he loves me so much, and has blocked all contact with here, he suffers from depression and was drinking too much, he says he wasn't thinking clearly because of this, and she boosted his ego. We are financially tied, and he had no were to live due to money and no family local. I still love him. Should we try and make it work?

[Caro321]

Just keep talking and maybe get marital guidance therapist in involved . In my situation partner can be great can pay bills etc but emotionally cut off from me since he found out I had brief relationship with someone else .I was looking for affection and attention but the other person used me. We get on but massive divide nos .I now it's my fault it realise on my part why as looking for affection etc. Its hard to leave as got teenagers at home