Captian chaos (the ex) blows winds of uncertainty again. Basically my ex left me and kids (girl 4 years and boy 13 months) to live with another man 100 miles away. After alot of work getting over it all and coming to terms with years of emotional abuse and minipulation i am now in a great place. The kids are very happy and settled. We have a great set up, a great house, surrounded by loving family. The devorce is nearly complete nice and easy. She agreed to adultery and signed. Anyway she come down for the weekend to stay and see the kids. I don't mind this as we get on fine despite everything and I want her to see the kids as much as possible (she don't see them alot). I know things are not going well with the man see left us for. In fact I think everyone could see what a loser he is and that it wouldn't last. Anyway she told me that she maybe looking to move back to where we live. On the face of it that would be good. The kids could see their mum more and maybe I could get a break now and then.
But here's the thing I don't see here plan working without her becoming reconised as the resident parent and all the money that comes with it. She said she was looking at getting a 3 bed next to the school. Rent is about 650-700 a month and she worksing minium wage 30 hours, but she did mention getting housing benefit. She has no education and never has held down a job. It never matter as I could afford to fund the family on my wages. I don't think she could aford it working min wage or on benifits as a lone person. I think she could if she became the residential parent getting child benefit and a hefty maintenance (about £750 a month) from me.
I am not sure to panic or not. She changes like the winds. Ever since I have known her she has never held a job for much more than 6 months. She gets board and leaves. I funded 4 home business she started, all of which she got board of and gave up with nothing to show. It was only the other week she told me that she was thinking about starting a new life in Manchester.
People have warned me before on here if it all goes sour with her fella she may want walk back in and start playing mum again.
There was definitely something different about her this time as if the penny had dropped and she realised her mistake. I think staying in our nice house thar be and the kids bought made her pine for the family life she walked out on. Or maybe not as she said to me we would probably still be together if it wasn't for the birth of our baby boy. how dare she Blame our little boy. We would probably still be together if she didn't drop her pants and move in with her aging overweight drug smoking dead beat step cousin . She never can see her own fault.
So would she need custody of the kids to fun the house and lifestyle she's talking about? Or could she afford it on benifits or min wage? Also if she needed custody of the kids to afford it is it a viable threat that she made be planning to make a play for having the kids full time? Is that why she wants to move next door to there school. We have no formal legal arrangements with the kids as I didn't think we needed it as we still get on. Do I panic and get to the solicitors or just ride it out as another one of her plans she never follows through.
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Relationships
Alarm bells. Is my ex making a play for full custody children.
1DAD2KIDS · 23/04/2016 19:05
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