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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Emergency help needed right now.

161 replies

Soggybananas · 13/12/2015 11:13

My dc 16 has just told me that my dc 18 (who has a 25yo dp) last night asked them if they'd join in a 3some!!!!! It was a serious ask apparently. Dc 16 said 'no way' & is very disturbed. This happened while I was next door having a chat with a neighbour. WTAF?????? My head is screaming. Obvs words are needed. Help me.

OP posts:

Report

forumdonkey · 13/12/2015 11:15

You need to get all three sat down together and talk to them.

DragonsCanHop · 13/12/2015 11:17

Are you DC males or females? Not that it matters. It's a strange request which ever way round!

The plus side is that your 16yr old confided in you, you are going to need to have a frank conversation with your 18 year old, are you close?

AuntieStella · 13/12/2015 11:18

Incest is illegal.

I don't see there's anything you can do, unless you are prepared to talk to both your DC about this (I wouldn't include the DP).

I hope it was just a rotten failure of a 'joke'.

Soggybananas · 13/12/2015 11:20

I could never have imagined this. I'm horrified. There is no chance of the dp being present. Not sure I want them in the house ever again. Does the sex of my dcs matter?

OP posts:

rumred · 13/12/2015 11:20

Talk to your 18 yo not all 3. Soon. Get their version. Then decide how to handle. Horrible situation for you to be in.

StoptheRavelry · 13/12/2015 11:21

Sounds like maybe the DP fancies the 16yo too

yuk

I don't imagine the 18yo would be into it with the 16yo if that makes sense

magoria · 13/12/2015 11:21

The sex of your DC doesn't matter.

Your 18 year old needs some form of help if they thought this was ok ask.

Soggybananas · 13/12/2015 11:22

I am assured by the 16yo it was no joke. Personally I think it's no laughing matter. It wasn't couched in a general conversation. One approached the other to specifically make this request. I'm deeply disturbed my 18yo could consider such a suggestion.

OP posts:

Soggybananas · 13/12/2015 11:24

Anyone else before I go downstairs & confront?

OP posts:

magoria · 13/12/2015 11:24

It suggests the 18 year old is in a rotten relationship if they would go here to keep an older partner who may fancy their younger sibling.

It shouldn't even cross the 25 year old mind either.

Soggybananas · 13/12/2015 11:26

Right. I'm going to confront now.

OP posts:

forumdonkey · 13/12/2015 11:27

Why wouldnt you include the do?! Seriously?! A 25 yr old has propositioned your 16 yr old for sex with them and their sibling too right ID be having fucking words

StoptheRavelry · 13/12/2015 11:27

I hope it is just that the 18yo's DP wants to do it with both of them?

Not that they will be doing it with each other, too?

it's still vile but at least it's not illegal

ImperialBlether · 13/12/2015 11:27

Yes, it shows the 18 year old is in a terrible relationship, your 16 year old trusts you and the 25 year old ought to be chased off the premises with a gun.

StuffandBother · 13/12/2015 11:30

Goodness me, what a horrible situation .. Would the NSPCC helpline be any good?

fidel1ne · 13/12/2015 11:36

It suggests the 18 year old is in a rotten relationship if they would go here to keep an older partner who may fancy their younger sibling.

This.

maddening · 13/12/2015 11:40

I would be telling the police about the 25 yo partner!

Soggybananas · 13/12/2015 11:40

Well I've confronted. The 18yo is insisting it was a joke & that my 16yo took it as such. I said 'no way'. I said it was 'out of the ball park unacceptable' even as a joke & that the 25yo dp is no longer welcome in the house. I said it's clear you've made a gross error of judgement if you thought it was acceptable to 'make a joke' of such stuff. Their face betrayed guilt when I pointed out it's illegal. I am beyond shocked & very dismayed that the 18yo I was so proud of could be so fucking stupid. I've said the issue is finished now & I want us to move on but I can see the 18yo is going to be smarting for some time. It hurts me but I had to correct them didn't I? There was no choice but to have words.

OP posts:

FellOffMyUnicorn · 13/12/2015 11:41

jesus fucking christ!

i think that sums it up!!!

ImperialBlether · 13/12/2015 11:43

Is there a reason you've disguised their sex, OP? Did you think that might have an influence on our answers?

magoria · 13/12/2015 11:44

It is only a joke if all find it funny (and know it is a joke).

You 16 year old clearly did not consider it a joke or they would not have come to you.

Well done.

Do you think the 18 year old is bring pressurised?

ARV1981 · 13/12/2015 11:44

Yuk yuk and more yuk.

I'm an identical twin, and men have often asked for a threesome with me and my twin. Our response has always been "hell no. And no again. And fuck off and die"

Not sure what you should do, but it does sound like the 25 year old dp (p) has asked for this. And shouldn't be allowed anywhere near your 16 year old. Your 18 year old should be able to understand why this request was wrong. If not, then perhaps it's time they lived alone/away from your 16 year old.

for you. And

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ImperialBlether · 13/12/2015 11:44

I know a lot here will disagree, but I think 25 is far too old for an 18 year old. They're at different points in their lives.

Supermanspants · 13/12/2015 11:44

I would be telling the police about the 25 yo partner!
Why?

ARV1981 · 13/12/2015 11:46

Sorry cross posted. I think you've done the right thing in stopping the partner from visiting your home.

Flip

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