Caught DTD

[AtSea1979]

So DS (10) walked in. I thought the door was locked, it wasn't. He doesn't want to talk about it. I don't know how much he saw/knows.
I'm not in a serious relationship with anyone, just dating, which I think makes it harder.
How do others DTD as kids get older? Especially when you are in early relationship and don't want to put a guy off by only having sex once a fortnight when DS at his dad's!

[witsender]

Had he met the person before? I'm no expert, but would think that any man woryh his salt would respect you keeping him away from your son until things were serious.

[pestilence13610]

Pinch a 'do not disturb' sign from a hotel. Only use it for DTD and expect to hear the DC having loud conversations (outside the bedroom door) about the oldies being at it again.
Children really are the best form of contraception

[Pooka]

I don't think it's fair to your do if you're putting him in awkward position by bringing bloke to yours. Was he staying over? If ds has not met the guy, or its not a prospective serious relationship, it should not happen while he's around IMO.

If the bloke is a good guy, then surely he'd understand that your do is a priority?

[Joysmum]

We had a hook and eye on the top of our door and frame. Now we have a room with a twisty lock on it the same as the bathroom.

We often have the radio on evenings and mornings etc so nothing unusual in that to drown out noise.

[pieceofpurplesky]

If the guy is out off by you thinking about your child and what is best for him then he is not worth it. I think you did the wrong thing in the first place having sex with someone you are dating, casually it seems in your OP, when there was any changes chance of DC finding out

[pieceofpurplesky]

Put off

[WickedWax]

I don't understand.

It's not a serious relationship but this man is staying over, and/or having sex with you in your home while your DS is around?

So does your DS think he's only a friend or do you introduce your DS to everyone you're 'just dating'? If it's the latter than maybe you need to have a word with your DS about not coming into your bedroom while there's a man in the house.

[AtSea1979]

Isn't that a contradiction? How can I get to know I guy better if I can't see him at mine when DC sleeping? It's hard and expensive getting babysitters. I was wondering how others cope when they become teenagers.

[noclueses]

surely a good lock on the door would help?

[MySordidCakeSecret]

oh dear your poor ds.

[AtSea1979]

Yes I'll def double check the lock! But surely as teenagers they'd know

[PenelopePitstops]

I think you need to be more careful. Has ds met the man before?

Yes it's hard to date but you need to protect your ds. Get the lock sorted asap and make it normal for you to have music /radio on.

[noclueses]

they know but they don't want to see you doing it (ouch)

[PenelopePitstops]

Even if they know, it stops them seeing ffs.

[Shockers]

Had DS been out and you weren't expecting him home?

[noclueses]

hopefully you were covered by the duvet, mostly.

[AnyFucker]

he's not a teenager, he is 10

I think you are more than entitled to a sex life, but I am not sure that getting caught having it off with a random in your house by a 10yo is at all acceptable, tbh

I imagine you do what all other single parents do and shag your brains out when dc are with the other parent. If this guy was anywhere decent he would understand that you come as part of a package and that "sleepovers" might be off the agenda for a while or at least until he is more of a constant in your life

you don't need male attention that much, do you ?

[AtSea1979]

No he got up in the night. What do you mean it stops them seeing? Surely this is a one off! I'm just wondering how others manage with teenagers, even with locks surely they know. I can honestly say I never knew my parents did it!

[Workinprogress2015]

You do realise a 10 year old is not a teenager.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

tbh i think i'd be a pretty unhappy child if i lived in a home where my mother was regularly sleeping with men i didn't know.. and uncomfortable

[ClassicMonkey]

I think you need to keep your love life away from your DS until it's serious

[MySordidCakeSecret]

does your ds know this man? or is it some casual bloke you've got sleeping there while he's in bed..

[OrangeSquashTallGlass]

'How do others DTD as kids get older? Especially when you are in early relationship and don't want to put a guy off by only having sex once a fortnight when DS at his dad's!'

I don't actually think it's unreasonable that you should wait two weeks to have sex with a guy you're dating in order to protect your son. It's only two weeks and your ds is only 10.

[MySordidCakeSecret]

sounds very dodgy to me sorry but put your son first.

[ILoveNiceGunas]

blimey. I'm a single parent so I know it's hard to combine parenthood with dating. Only ever had one bf back to the house and even then we waited until my dc were asleep. I was always so tired!!

my children are never with their other parent. It's hard. Sometimes I feel a relationship could be in the offing and then wonder if I could even cope with the juggling.