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Sexual harassment from a cold caller?

(45 Posts)
fishfingersinmysandwiches Mon 10-Aug-15 18:43:11

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Just received a phone call asking if this was "Sexy Fishfingers"? I said what the hell? He said that his name was "Sexy Samuel", and that he had seen me in the pub last week, had liked my big bum, and that one of my friends had given him my number.

I of course gave him short shrift and put the phone down. He rang again and I put the phone down on him again. Am now feeling a bit confused and off kilter. Don't know what's going on. His story doesn't really ring true. For a start he used my full name when nobody ever calls me that (ie called me Fishfingers when everyone except my mum calls me Fish). Plus he didn't have a local accent. Also I can't imagine any of my friends giving out my number? But I was down the pub last week and I do have rather an attention grabbing arse unfortunately. Coincidence?

I've tried 1471 and the number was withheld. Has anyone else experienced this type of thing with a cold caller?


trackrBird Mon 10-Aug-15 19:24:29

That's nasty stalking behaviour.

It's not a coincidence: he's got your number from somewhere, sounds as if he knows your movements, but doesn't know you well enough to use your name as friends would. Yes, this behaviour is as old as time unfortunately - there have always been phone pests /other creeps who get your details somehow or other.

I would suggest only picking up your phone if a friend or known caller is in touch. Otherwise let it ring. Ask your friends if anyone has asked for your number. Never respond to this person or talk to him at all if you pick up by accident. Just end the call without speaking - because if you speak at all, he'll take that as progress, or a sign of interest on your part.

If he becomes more intrusive, or you feel unsafe at all, call police on 101 for advice. With any luck he'll drop it though.

ForalltheSaints Mon 10-Aug-15 19:29:49

Involve the police, perhaps even the pub licencee.

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 10-Aug-15 19:33:27

I'm just curious saints - what would she say to the pun licencee?

Fish - do you live alone? Or is there someone who can pick up the phone and simply say you have informed the police and they are in the process of tracing his previous calls?

Sounds like a chancer to me.

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 10-Aug-15 19:34:42

pub for crying out loud

Offred Mon 10-Aug-15 19:39:56

Yes I did. There were several disturbing texts culminating in a disclosure of the name of the fucker who had given out my number who is a man I dated who I left after he raped me and threw me downstairs when he was drunk - only made it more disturbing.

He was a taxi driver too so for years I never used the firm he worked for. It was particularly disturbing because I had no clue what he looks like (still don't).

As it turned out I ending up marrying his cousin and the link was made - dirty fucker is married with 3 kids and his wife keeps sending bags of old clothes/toys/kids stuff for my twins. sad

He was not invited to the wedding and I told his mum why. Husband is now ex - think all the men in the family are a bit fucked in the head tbh.

He stopped bothering when I stopped responding btw which i did after I found out enough to avoid him.

fishfingersinmysandwiches Mon 10-Aug-15 19:43:18

Thanks for the replies everyone. I do live alone, yes. Well, I have three children but they are away having contact with their father at the moment.

Sure it couldn't just be a cold caller bored at work? Taking a punt on the fact that there were probably plenty of women with big bums down the pub last week?

I feel a little bit scared. Am I over reacting?

Offred Mon 10-Aug-15 19:44:35

(Old) pictures I have seen of him indicate he is a balding overweight middle aged man... He's also a fecking wedding DJ but I still wouldn't know him if I saw him. I was 23 and he was mid forties at the time... Scum...

fishfingersinmysandwiches Mon 10-Aug-15 19:44:55

Also, I have asked a couple of friends whether anyone has recently asked for my number and both have said no, and that they wouldn't dream of giving it out without asking me first, which is what I thought anyway.

There are others I could ask but I really don't think they would do that.

Offred Mon 10-Aug-15 19:45:00

No, not overreacting. Not at all.

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 10-Aug-15 19:45:54

If you're scared then contact 101 for advice but I'm sure it's just a chancer.

My first thought is it could be someone from a store who has access to your name and number. Bit strange for them not to call you on your mobile if someone had given your number.

fishfingersinmysandwiches Mon 10-Aug-15 19:45:58

That's horrible Offred

I'm really sorry you got put through that sad

Offred Mon 10-Aug-15 19:46:08

If you are scared report to the police on 101.

fishfingersinmysandwiches Mon 10-Aug-15 19:47:12

I live somewhere where mobile reception is patchy. Local people know this and tend to use land lines.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 Mon 10-Aug-15 19:48:12

Could have got a bunch of women's numbers at random from 192 or something? And just be ringing and setting if he gets a reaction and then having some fun?

I add some bloke who used to ring me up, obscene calls, police said "what do you expect us to do about it" I had ideas about them getting the number and telling him off or something but apparently that's not a thing.

Vatersay Mon 10-Aug-15 19:48:46

Call the police and log it. I had a scary caller when I was a student and the police were brilliant.

handfulofcottonbuds Mon 10-Aug-15 19:48:55

I do think it's an idiot taking a chance and as you put in your OP - cold calling.

Log it with 101 if you feel concerned but I'm sure you've put an end to it after the last call.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 Mon 10-Aug-15 19:49:45

Sorry about typos, on device.

Op I would put money on this man just having a name and number and not knowing you or anyone who knows you or anything.

HowDdo2You Mon 10-Aug-15 19:50:57

Have your friends got locks on their phones?

Offred Mon 10-Aug-15 19:51:54

The police can trace numbers and unless it's an unregistered PAYG they should be able to find the person responsible if they feel it is warranted. If not they should at least be able to give advice and support about how to prevent the calls - possibly with a police report reference number the phone company may be persuaded to block his calls? I don't know if that is possible but I don't think you have anything to lose from calling 101 and seeing what they say.

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 Mon 10-Aug-15 19:54:27

Why is it that the police in my area are so utterly shit!

Op looks like the police might be a possibility if it happens again, honestly though I bet it's totally random.

BoneyBackJefferson Mon 10-Aug-15 19:57:43

report to the police and to BT (from memory) it shouldn't matter if they dialed 1471 as they should be able to trace it.

Offred Mon 10-Aug-15 19:58:53

The police in my area are shit tbh too - particularly shit on DV etc IMO. But still worth a go even if they turn out to be shit. Trouble with police everywhere is underfunding, boy's club attitudes and a huge amount of discretion over whether they actually bother to investigate anything with no real accountability as the IPCC is utterly shit.

Twinklestein Mon 10-Aug-15 20:05:54

I think it's a chancer, and with a bit of luck it'll be a one off. If he calls back repeatedly then of course report him.

ReallyNotMe Mon 10-Aug-15 20:07:17

I had a similar experience. Turned out it was a doorman from a local pub so he knew whenever I had a night out, he was dating a friend of mine and when she was in the shower he took my number from her phone. We found out when I showed her the messages he was sending me and she recognised some of the mis-spelled words and the style of writing! Also we looked at the times he sent the messages and it was always when he was off work but not with her e.g. had access to his phone.

Agree with others about logging it with police just be on safe side. Best advice I can give is not to engage with him in anyway, the guy who did it to me apparently kept asking my friend if I was ok and checking that I 'wasn't too scared' in a very concerned way - clearly feeding off it! Some people get their kicks in a very odd way sad

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