Sexual harassment from a cold caller?

[fishfingersinmysandwiches]

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

Just received a phone call asking if this was "Sexy Fishfingers"? I said what the hell? He said that his name was "Sexy Samuel", and that he had seen me in the pub last week, had liked my big bum, and that one of my friends had given him my number.

I of course gave him short shrift and put the phone down. He rang again and I put the phone down on him again. Am now feeling a bit confused and off kilter. Don't know what's going on. His story doesn't really ring true. For a start he used my full name when nobody ever calls me that (ie called me Fishfingers when everyone except my mum calls me Fish). Plus he didn't have a local accent. Also I can't imagine any of my friends giving out my number? But I was down the pub last week and I do have rather an attention grabbing arse unfortunately. Coincidence?

I've tried 1471 and the number was withheld. Has anyone else experienced this type of thing with a cold caller?

Thanks.

Some people get their kicks in a very odd way

Exactly!

But they are cowards. This used to go on a lot in the 80s/90s before mobile phones and caller ID. I'm guessing this idiot hasn't called again?

Just to add, what woman thinks her bum is too small? Lucky guess on his part to make you believe his story.

No he hasn't called again. And yes handful that's what I thought! Most women think their bums are big. Although I kind of like mine - vast though it is

Actually thinking back - as I was leaving the pub the other week there were a group of men outside, one of whom shouted, "Cracking arse!" at me as I was walking away.

But again, probably just another coincidence. If he calls loads of women his story is going to ring true with one eventually I suppose.

Similar happened to me. They only ever rang when my then DP was out sp they must have been watching me. They said strange stuff wispering and even masturbated whiles on the phone.

I rang the police who basically refused to help and In the end I changed my number. It really freaked me out tbh, change your number and try ringing the police if it persists. You might get a decent officer, not all of them are unhelpful :)

This happened to me over a period of about a month about 8 years ago. Police were totally uninterested. He would ring and say sexual but not overtly threatening things. I was told to blow a whistle down the phone, put the phone on the side and just leave him talking to himself and running up a phone bill and to just put the phone down and say nothing.

I opted for letting the answer machine pick up. It had a pre- recorded message - automatic voice, so he never even heard my voice. If I heard someone speaking I recognised I would pick up and answer the phone. If there was no voice I ignored the call. He never left a message and once he stopped being able to speak to me he just gave up. Never found out who he was. He was pathetic really.

That is not a cold caller! That is a stalker.

That is a scary thought Doreen. But a few things do point to it just having been a random call. That's how I'm going to take it for now, but obviously if there are any more calls or incidents then I will take action.

I don't think police will do anything OP.
About 20 years ago I was stalked on the phone for months by at least two different men. Problem was phone number was emblazoned over our shop window and printed on business cards.

Both callers behaved totally different and I soon worked out who one of them was but I had no proof whatsoever so nothing I could do. He came into the shop often at first as a customer and then would pop in often for no particular reason. After many months or even over a year of his daily calls he came into the premises quite a bit drunk and needing that my husband shift some things for him with our van. I told him I thought the van would likely not be available that day but he wouldn't go away, he sat there and stared at me. I told him it would be silly for him to wait and he should go home and ring later when my husband was in the shop. I handed him a card saying here's the number ring later. He then started giggling and said something like
Oh yeah as if I'd need the number for this place and went on and on.
At this stage I almost called him out on his pestering me on the phone but as he was so drunk I thought better leave it.
He never bothered me again and as he was in the neighbourhood I saw him often and he didn't stop coming into the shop but he knew "I knew" ifyswim
His calls had never had a sexual overtone to them. They were strange with whisperings and holding the phone to the tv when love declarations going on.
The other caller behaved totally different and I believe he called from a movile.
He seemed to have quite a bit of practice at it as he was always able to sound like a customer making an enquiry and suddenly make obscene suggestions which caught me unaware, so I'd hear it before hanging up on him.
He would sometimes mention parts of my anatomy in what I was wearing that day so I knew he had seen me. He could go for weeks without ringing and eventually stopped

What a way to get your kicks. Losers

They may not - but if there are 20 other women who got calls then it is only the police that can put two and two together.

20 women not reporting means they have nothing to go on.

OP - nothing about your post suggests coincidence. It suggests that someone wants to stalk you and found out your number from somewhere...may have followed you home to find out where you lived in order to find out that number. You are naive to think it is a coincidence and a 'cold call'.

fish I agree with pp that this is not a cold call. The caller is targeting you.
He mentioned your name and a part of your anatomy so that you know he has seen you.

No need to scare the op! Names can be found with numbers on the net. All women have arses! It's far more likely to be a random. Like they used to just call women in the phone book.

Have you got caller display?

If so, don't answer any withheld numbers.

I do have caller display. But lots of people come up as number withheld - my car insurance company for example, and my mother if she's calling from work.

Has anyone ever had any experience of something like this from a cold caller mucking about? Surely they are risking a huge amount in terms of their job and prosecution if someone went to the police? But then maybe they just bank on the fact that the number isn't traceable if it's withheld? Or that most women don't bother reporting? Just seems a big risk to take for a cheap laugh/thrill.

Perhaps I'm overthinking it all, but it's just weird. He called me my full name which no-one ever does, which is what made me think it was a cold caller. But he also asked if I wanted to see him? And sounded more jovial and friendly than threatening. Also, "big bum" seems like rather restrained language for a perv that could theoretically say what he wanted. It was almost as though he was trying not to sound too scary.

I experienced something like this a few years back. I was on a work trip, staying by myself in a bunkhouse at a campsite. I was on my own in the room, and the door opened straight out to the outside world, which didn't help my feelings of security at all.

I received a phonecall and a couple of texts from a bloke. They didn't without their number, but it wasn't one my phone recognised, nor did I know the voice who spoke to me. They wouldn't give me their name, but they knew mine. Nothing they said was awful, but, even so, it made me feel uncomfortable. I did go to the police on the advice of people here, but they couldn't do much. The WPC I spoke to did offer to ring the number back from my phone to speak to whoever it was who was ringing, but I didn't want the other person realising how much they were freaking me out.

Never did get to the bottom if it. But never heard from them again either.

Once I had a lovely call, lots of description of himself and how he would make me squeal. Lots of giggling in the background. I left he phone on the side and left him to it.

To my surprise he had NOT withheld his number, so I phoned back and, in my best teacher voice, told him what a silly boy he had been and how, now I had his number I could send the police to his door.

I rang back a week later and spoke to his mum

He had picked my number at random, he had been left home alone whilst his parents went on holiday. His mum said he would be cleaning his sisters gerbil cage and fish tank for a year

Sometimes they are just anonymous idiots. Sometimes.

It's the telephone equivalent of street harassment op, that's probably the way to think of it.

They aren't risking much as I don't imagine prosecution would ever happen unless it was a sustained campaign and there were realistic threats or something, I'm no expert though but I can't imagine anything coming of it. And I'm sure they can't either, imagine anything happening!

It would be nice if, like with street harassment, there was something that could be done. It's upsetting and stressful and a bit scary when this sort of thing happens, sometimes

This reminds me of random txts i had a few years ago, had a message saying "hi sexy, fancy meeting for that shag" I Ignored. then next day had another asking why id not replied, txt back and asked who it was and he said his name and that we had met in a pub at the weekend and that my friend had given number out. I was actually out that weekend but with my sister and she swears didnt give my number out I didnt even remember talking or getting any attention off men that night.

All forgotten couple weeks later had more or less same message ignored again and that night bombarded with withhelds. Still none the wiser to who it was but changed number and not had any issues since so god knows where he had got my number from x

Jovial or not, it was an unwanted invasion of your privacy, sexual language was used, and he kept his anonymity. And he called you back when you put the phone down. It's a nasty, intrusive way to try to get attention.

So I can't read too much innocence into it, iyswim, any more than I'd read a deadly threat. It's an unwanted nuisance most of the time, as is all sexual harassment.

It's not that big a risk for the perpetrator.

Yes I've had a chance caller. I could tell he was young, though not a kid.He passed my number to his mates. I could see the numbers, didn't really follow it up, but I got unwanted calls for some time. I never answered any of them. People who like doing things like that are surprisingly persistent.

His mum said he would be cleaning his sisters gerbil cage and fish tank for a year - Class. I'd have made him clean the kitty tray too.

I had 2 callers. One used to ring up and ask what services I offered. After the third time, I put on my best civil servant voice and said that if he called again, I would call the police. He never called again.

Another used to call me, say nasty things, hang up and then ring again. He did this for a couple of weeks till I had a male friend round and got him to answer the phone. Utter bliss! He never called again. I just get a man to record my answerphone message when I need it.