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Vague question

(106 Posts)
KnockMeDown Tue 26-May-15 12:12:46

Sorry for the vague question, but I would be grateful if you could indulge me.

If you saw some photos of a man and a woman, in bathrobes at a spa, taken of each other, then close together in a spa pool, then a photo of their feet entwined in the spa pool, would you suspect that they were sleeping together, or were just mates?


Balders74 Tue 26-May-15 12:17:55

Sounds like an intimate relationship. I suspect you already know that but need some validation of your suspicions. Sorry.

molyholy Tue 26-May-15 12:23:01

Well I certainly would not act this way with any of my male friends. Urgh. I can barely touch my dh's feet, let alone intertwine feet with a friend grin. I would go for intimate relationship.

AnyFucker Tue 26-May-15 12:26:50

I would consider that an intimate relationship and definitely a step over the line from just good friends

can you give us more context ? Are you being lied to ?

KnockMeDown Tue 26-May-15 12:34:31

Well, I certainly think I am being lied to! DH maintains this woman is just a mate, but I have had my suspicions for a long time.

If I confront with this, he will just majorly deflect with how dare I snoop on his FB (which he unusually left logged in and accessible).

My gut is screaming that this is more than just mates, but confronting will lead to a major blow-up with sulking after, and we are due to go away this weekend for his 50th.

Things seemed to have been improving lately too, now I suspect that was a front sad

DontKillMyVibe Tue 26-May-15 12:38:29

The entwined feet suggests intimacy that shouldn't be there if it was just a friendship. The rest alone wouldn't arose suspicion but I wouldn't pose for a pic or sit with my feet entwined with any of my friends

Quitelikely Tue 26-May-15 12:40:42

I would not entwine my feet with anyone except my children and husband.

He is lying.

Is she married?

LadyBlaBlah Tue 26-May-15 12:41:28

Is it relevant if they are sleeping together? Is that your breaking point?

I'd be done with just the evidence you have - photos of intertwined feet and wearing robes in a spa, all done no doubt while I am at home looking after the children.

Why have you been suspicious before?
And why should sulking have to stop you confronting him? If he is unprepared to talk and reassure you it tells you everything you need to know.

KnockMeDown Tue 26-May-15 12:41:32

Yes, she is married.

SwedishEdith Tue 26-May-15 12:42:51

Who were they at the spa with?

sebsmummy1 Tue 26-May-15 12:43:07

Has he a history of infidelity and lying?

Melonfool Tue 26-May-15 12:53:39

Did you know they went to a spa together, what were the circumstances of that happening?
Seems quite odd to take photos in a spa anyway.
Were the photos hidden, you found them or did he proudly show you, having previously explained to you about how the day had gone?

I think entwined feet actually just suggests silliness/playing, but I wouldn't want my partner to be doing it with another woman either way.

They may not be having an affair but they don't seem to know the right boundaries and if it's not an affair I'd be putting him very straight on that and probably telling him I didn't want him in contact with her.

KnockMeDown Tue 26-May-15 12:54:50

Swedish - it was just the two of them - it was her gift to him for his 50th, including a back massage. Photos were selfies or of eachother.

sebs - yes, he has.

Apologies if I don't come back till later in afternoon, am at work and lunch has finished...

SwedishEdith Tue 26-May-15 12:56:56

I'm sorry, but, I can't imagine giving that kind of gift to a married man unless it included his wife.

bjrce Tue 26-May-15 13:00:05

Its your DH!
God, I am so sorry that absolutely is not on, is it someone he works with?

I would be disgusted and furious, if I saw photos like that on my DHs facebook, he wouldn't get a word in to start denying anything, I would fucking kill him. How dare he behave like this and worse, to think he could actually take photos and post them on facebook as if it was all innocent. That in itself is the height of disrespect to you.

If he's not already sleeping with her, he certainly wants to.

GinSoakedBitchyPony Tue 26-May-15 13:00:56

Totally inappropriate gift.
Surprised he's posted the pics to FB. Are they visible only to his friends or to everyone?
This is well dodgy.

LadyBlaBlah Tue 26-May-15 13:02:28

I also take it you are not 'friends' with your own DH on FB.

This screams double life.

Sorry OP, but I think your gut is talking sense but your head is desperately trying to find a less devastating reason for his behaviour.

bjrce Tue 26-May-15 13:03:30

Sorry, just read further,

The two of them went together,

And you let him go????

Jesus, the mind boggles, not in a million years would I allow my H to carry on like that.
Going with a female "mate" to a spa together???

theaftermath Tue 26-May-15 13:03:41

I'm guessing they private messaged the photos to each other....

This is totally dodgy. Intimacy, romance etc.

I'm so sorry for you

theaftermath Tue 26-May-15 13:04:14

Did you know he was even going to the spa?

GinSoakedBitchyPony Tue 26-May-15 13:04:42

YY BlaBlah, as I the way I read it, OP wouldn't have seen these pics if he hadn't accidentally stayed logged in.
No problem for all his FB friends to see them though!

Gorgonzolacherry Tue 26-May-15 13:10:05

A resounding yes from me. Feet intertwined is irrefutably sign of an affair. So sorry OP. Your husband is pathetic.

Gorgonzolacherry Tue 26-May-15 13:11:29

why would he let his FB friends see photos? Sorry crosS post.... Don't you have mutual friends on there or family?

ydl1964l Tue 26-May-15 13:36:41

Have to agree with the others, entwined feet sounds dodgy to me. Did he leave his FB open deliberately on purpose. My XH despite denying for months he was cheating left his mobile at home two days before we were due to go on holiday knowing I would snoop. XH admitted years later he had left it for me to find out the truth because he didn't want to go on the holiday

AnyFucker Tue 26-May-15 13:45:22

You are being made a mug if and sound frightened to confront him

are you scared that if you pull him up he will leave ?

Then let him go, he is a cheat and a piss taker

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