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soooo my husbands slept with someone else..

(151 Posts)
Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 17:13:31

that's it really, been together 8years married for nearly 2. have had a nice few Facebook messages from said skanky girls sent me photos and messages from the 2weeks that they've known each other for. sorry feel a bit disjointed at the moment

MildDrPepperAddiction Tue 04-Mar-14 17:15:20

Oh dear humbug. I hope you are ok. Have you spoken to him about it yet? I hope you have someone to lean on in rl.

Northernlurker Tue 04-Mar-14 17:17:10

Yikes. Ok well what do you want to do? Do you want to confront him? Do you want him out? Do you think you want to work through it? You have this information now but you don't HAVE to do anything with it.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 04-Mar-14 17:17:16

Are you sure it's true? Why did she message you?

Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 17:17:34

just a bit numb, yes spoke to him I did say at least you could have gone with someone that can spell! I know its not really funny. going over my friends tonight, the girl has even lol and smile in her messages to me then told me to bore off as i'm boring her and i'm a mug so that was nice of her too

CaptainHindsight Tue 04-Mar-14 17:19:12

I'm sorry Humbug, its not very MN but (((hug)))

Is your H home?

Ludways Tue 04-Mar-14 17:19:31

You'll have to talk to him straight away.

She sent you pictures on Facebook, klassy!

Finola1step Tue 04-Mar-14 17:20:10

Oh Humbug. The only thing I can suggest is to post on the Relationships board. Lots of wise people who can give lots of good advice and hand holding. The next few days will be very tough as you hopefully find out the truth. Do you have support in rl?

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Tue 04-Mar-14 17:20:54

Perhaps you can block her so at least she's not bothering you at this point? (after copying all her messages and saving somewhere obviously)

CaptainHindsight Tue 04-Mar-14 17:21:52

^ I did say at least you could have gone with someone that can spell!^

^ Humour? In this situation shock

Bloody hell Humbug you are one tough mother.
He is going to regret the day he crossed you isn't he?

Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 17:22:36

long backstory about him talking to other women but nothing actually inappropriate but I had a feeling with this one, asked her and got the whole lot from her this afternoon he has now confirmed it after initially lying. she's met him at work and out for drinks when he said he was at the gym and also slept with him twice. once on a night out that he had to walk back from as he said he lost his taxi money and had to walk home, he did walk home just from hers instead of town, so while I was ringing the hospital see if he has been admitted as he didn't come home he was actually walking back from hers

Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 17:24:08

I think i'm cracking jokes due to all the clichés if I don't laugh i'll cry and i'm currently making pancakes with our 6yr old, thanks everyone

Deerfromhell Tue 04-Mar-14 17:25:31

I'm so sorry to hear. What is the matter with people? I would be tempted to say fuck off you skanky old dog hope I don't get syphalis then block her but ignore and block is probably better. Have you anyone you can confide in in RL who could support you? What a dickhead he is.

Northernlurker Tue 04-Mar-14 17:28:02

Oh bloody hell that's not good is it. Do you reckon this was the first time he's actually cheated then?

Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 17:46:19

yeah I do believe its the first time but I guess no one can ever be 100% sure can they. going to see my friend in a min. all this for 2weeks in lust and for 2 shags sad

Hedgehead Tue 04-Mar-14 17:59:21

Jesus Humbug poor you... sometimes you have to despair at the human race that this stupid bloke has potentially lost a marriage and a DC for 2 weeks of nothing with some random person.

You are in shock, right now, but soon you will not be. And as soon as you come out of shock, I want you to make sure you see yourself as completely above these two stupid liars: mentally, emotionally, morally (and from the sound of it - aesthetically).

Northernlurker Tue 04-Mar-14 18:00:26

What's his attitude now?

Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 18:02:09

he's sorry and wants to fix things, apparently he realised what a shit situation he had got himself into whilst doing the walk of shame home. you are all so wonderful and supportive by the way x

Northernlurker Tue 04-Mar-14 18:04:48

Ok well at least he's sorry. Can he articulate how he came to do this?

ITCouldBeWorse Tue 04-Mar-14 18:05:23

Hmm was that the second walk of shame?

Don't make any rushed decisions, but do hurry to gather copies of all your financial records, get STI check and chuck him out for at least a while so you can think and gain a position of strength.]
Do not let him manipulate him into instant forgiveness, whatever you decide long term.

Bastard. Remember you were calling hospitals while he was out shagging. You don't get over that in a hurry.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Tue 04-Mar-14 18:05:27

He didn't think just prior to being stupid what a shit situation he would be getting into? It's kind of a no-brainer. hmm He had to know at the time that it was stupid and risking his marriage, but he went ahead anyway.

AliceDoesntLiveHereAnymore Tue 04-Mar-14 18:06:55

And let's remember that

A- he didn't tell you - SHE told you. If she hadn't, you wouldn't know about it at all. Because... again... HE didn't tell you.

B- his initial reaction was to lie. Not to come clean and beg forgiveness. But to lie about it and deny it entirely.

struggling100 Tue 04-Mar-14 18:10:28

What a selfish, stupid, shortsighted arse. He sounds like he richly deserves this Facebook woman... and you deserve so much better.

Humbug0108 Tue 04-Mar-14 18:13:40

oh no she doesn't want him anymore apparently she says I can keep him and we're both mugs, will answer other questions when I get to my friends, just leaving now x

Only1scoop Tue 04-Mar-14 18:17:50

Oh Humbug....what a horrid situation for you. Awful way to find out but at least you have. No thanks to your pathetic husband. Normally there is only 'one walk of shame' hmm

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