Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4 5 6

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I don't know what to make of this.

127 replies

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 20:49

DP always told me he hadn't done something.

I discovered today that he had.

It's not a bad thing, but it's really weird that he never told me.

I don't even know why I'm posting. I feel odd and rather unsettled. Like I don't know him.

OP posts:

Report

docket · 16/08/2013 20:50

Can you say what the thing is? It's hard to gauge without knowing that but I can understand you feeling unsettled.

cozietoesie · 16/08/2013 20:50

Is it the sort of thing that he wouldn't want to think about himself, even?

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 20:52

I can't say what it is as I'm afraid it'll out me.

It's something that if you were asked you'd say if you had done it. He always said he didn't. But he did.

OP posts:

ImperialBlether · 16/08/2013 20:54

So it would be a good thing to do?

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 20:55

Yes it would be. (I know his sister is on here so I don't want to say)

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 16/08/2013 20:56

Then I'd call him on it. I could understand if it was something slightly distasteful that he might not want to admit to himself that he'd done - and then just knee-jerked a response on it. But otherwise? (I'm just slightly wary of falsehoods being uttered when there seems to be no need. Even little ones.)

Just ask him - but keep it fairly lighthearted - and see what he says.

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 20:57

That's it cozietosie - it's a stupid thing for him to have lied about.

OP posts:

DearPrudence · 16/08/2013 20:59

Would he have had a reason to claim not to have done it, or was it a pointless lie? I understand why you don't want to say what it is, but the context is probably important here.
Not nice to find out you've been lied to anyway.

cozietoesie · 16/08/2013 20:59

You don't know his reasoning. Ask him about it?

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:00

It's a pointless lie.

I feel sick.

OP posts:

Walkacrossthesand · 16/08/2013 21:01

Surely whatever it is can't be so unique that revealing it would 'out' you - there are few activities that only a handful of people have done! Climbed Everest without oxygen? Won an Olympic gold medal? Or are we talking more 'done a bungee jump' or 'smoked dope'. It's hard for us to comment on the significance of the deception without more information...

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:01

I can't ask him right now. I found out in front of other people. It is such a weird thing to lie about.

OP posts:

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:02

It's a totally normal thing. I don't understand why he lied.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 16/08/2013 21:03

Then talk to him about it and resolve the matter one way or the other - otherwise, it will poison your relationship even though it's not a bad thing. No point in just sitting there and feeling bad.

Is he home this evening?

Twinklestein · 16/08/2013 21:03

It's really impossibly to judge without knowing what it is.

There's few things that only one person in the world has ever done.

cozietoesie · 16/08/2013 21:04

x post.

Have it out with him as soon as you can, then - within reason. (Not when he's doing 80 in the outside lane.)

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:05

He's away on a stag do for his future BIL this weekend.

We were at his sisters earlier (I was dropping him off). I saw a photo. It was on top of the piano. It's a totally normal thing. No unusual in the slightest.

OP posts:

CrapBag · 16/08/2013 21:05

If its something good, I don't really understand. Ok, you are upset because he has lied but unfortunately, without knowing what it is, we can't really say.

Is it really that unique?

IfYouLoveSomebodyLetThemSleep · 16/08/2013 21:07

If it's that normal then surely you can tell us what it is without outing yourself

cozietoesie · 16/08/2013 21:07

I knew it - he was a prefect at school!

Reality · 16/08/2013 21:08

I thought it was wanking. But the photo has thrown me.

TallulahTT · 16/08/2013 21:10

Is it a major thing? I wouldn't forget I'd broken a world record but may forget I've been to years if it doesn't stick out in any memories.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Greeneyed · 16/08/2013 21:11

Is it possible he has forgotten he did it? I.e no I have never ridden a motorbike, forgetting he'd actually gone on the back of his mates 20 years ago?

Is it possible he wasn't listening when you asked him as in Darling have you ever been skiing. Er.... No never darling, as he checks the football scores on his phone?

Mum2Fergus · 16/08/2013 21:12

Is it something he could have forgotten he's done? In that it wasn't such a deal as to be worth remembering?

Spottypurse · 16/08/2013 21:12

He couldn't have forgotten. It's a formal photo.

Oh damn. I don't really know him at all do I?

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.