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I'm in trouble with pre-school...

(177 Posts)
SillyBeardyDaddyman Sun 23-Sep-12 15:01:00

"can I have a word?"

Dreaded words to come from your child's teacher at any time, let alone 3 weeks into the first term of preschool!

"your dd told us today that we weren't singing Mary had a little lamb the right way today."

"erm... Ok?"

"yes... She wanted to know what happened to the bit where she cooks the lamb..."


So now I'm trying to stop myself from singing the corrupt versions of nursery rhymes. I don't really want to be responsible for small children going home crying that MiniBeard said Mary ate her lamb with mint sauce!

SillyBeardyDaddyman Sun 23-Sep-12 16:07:19


Mary had a little lamb
She ate it with mint sauce
Now everywhere that Mary goes
The lamb goes too of course!

mrsalwaysawake Sun 23-Sep-12 16:12:37

DS's bookstart book has a crocodiley version of Row row row your boat. I assumed it was an official version I'd not heard before.

YouBrokeMySmoulder Sun 23-Sep-12 16:16:05

Row your boat always involves a crocodile and a polar bear and a jellyfish in our house...

newbielisa Sun 23-Sep-12 16:16:10

We always do the second verse of Row Row as

If you see a crocodile
Don't forget to scream

They do it this way at libraries and childrens centres round here.

SillyBeardyDaddyman Sun 23-Sep-12 16:18:40

I know extras...

Row... The creek
If you see a little mouse
Don't forget to squeak!

Row... The shore
... A lion
Don't forget to roar!

TiggyD Sun 23-Sep-12 16:19:56

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a bear
I've never seen her lamb before
But I've often seen her bare

I once had a little girl sing Jingle Bells to the class with the "Uncle Billy" ending. I stopped her just in time. It's the children with the older siblings you have to watch out for.

I work in lots of nurseries and the only ones I've heard banned are the piggy on the railway, and the one involving squishing up my baby bumblebee.

StateofConfusion Sun 23-Sep-12 16:20:23

I got called in to preschool about nursery rhymes as ds refused to sing them, "its baby music, I like real music" when asked what he did like he said loud music with guitars and drums "the roach one where they punch someone in the face" blush he meant papa roach time is running out the line he mentioned was when it slaps you in the face. Mortified didn't cover it, ds' preschool was very naice and boden esque parents.

Anyway, <joins in>

"Postman pat, postman pat, postman pat ran over his cat. Blood and guts when flying, postman pat was crying, now he's got red wheels to match his van"

"I love you, you love me, Barney gave me HIV it was a hug and a kiss but Barney wanted more, I just fucked a dinasour"

He also got in trouble for singing baa baa black sheep when he eventually joined in as its racist they sung baa baa rainbow sheep I mean ffs!

DDs preschool must be really old fashioned then. I didnt see an issue with crocodiles.

Maybe their issue is with the screaming!!

StateofConfusion Sun 23-Sep-12 16:22:01

Our row row also in involves "if you see dinasour don't forget to roar, ROOOOAR!!!L

marcopront Sun 23-Sep-12 16:22:13

I like

Rock, rock, rock your boat gently down the stream.
If you rock it hard it enough over the side you'll fall.


Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream,
Ha ha fooled you, it's a submarine.

Good ones to finish with.

He also got in trouble for singing baa baa black sheep when he eventually joined in as its racist they sung baa baa rainbow sheep I mean ffs!

But thats homophobic!!

The world has gone mad grin

VerityClinch Sun 23-Sep-12 16:25:53

Not quite the same, but I got taken to one side at nursery when DD was almost two, and told they couldn't tolerate the racist language she was using and if this was the kind of thing she was being taught at home they would have no choice to exclude her...

After a bit of probing about the incident in question and asking DD to tell me what she had been saying to the particular "ethnic doll" that seemed to be the centre of the problem, I was forced to point out to the nursery staff that she was not calling the Hispanic looking doll a "dago" (shudder) but "Diego"...

OHforDUCKScake Sun 23-Sep-12 16:27:14

Youre all far more imaginative than me. I just swap the main words for 'poo'

"Mary had a little poo...."

"Humpty dumpty had a great poo..."

"The Grand old Duke of Poo, he had ten thousand poos'

You get my drift...

SayersIsBetterThanGreggs Sun 23-Sep-12 16:30:02

The shepards sat their turnip tops 'a' boiling in t'pot, the angel of the Lord came down and ate the bloody lot.

(sayers aged 5, cheers uncle David hmm )

StateofConfusion Sun 23-Sep-12 16:30:05

Realised that we have a lot of extras in row the boat. We do rock rock rock the boat, and bounce, when dd was a baby she loved bouncing on our knee so it was altered from there.

wannabe I've a good mind to go to the next agm and bring the homophobia up shock I knew something was up with that place it all makes sense now wink

Ebb Sun 23-Sep-12 16:30:42

Mary had a little lamb, she thought it rather silly, she threw it up into the air and caught it by it's willy was a watch dog lying in the grass, along came a bumble bee and stung him up the ask no questions, tell no lies, ever seen a policeman doing up his flies are a nuisance bees are worse and that's the end of my funny little verse.

Funny what you remember from school 22+ years on grin

Pascha Sun 23-Sep-12 16:33:15

Our playgroup won't sing no little ducks when they've all gone swimming over the hill and far away in case the children get all upset, it reverts back to 3 or 5 confused. I told my sister this, she ran a nursery in london for years and she says the kids always prefer the violent, cheeky or silly versions.

puds11 Sun 23-Sep-12 16:34:35

Thanks Beardy

FrustratedSycamorePants Sun 23-Sep-12 16:37:52

Hey diddle diddle
the cat did a piddle
All over the kitchen floor
The little dog laughed to see such fun
And kick the cat out of the door

I absolutely hate the "poor old humpty" bit that nurserys sing at the end.

My kids love

Humpty dumpty sat on a wall SPLAT!
Humpty dumpty SPLAT!
All the kings SPLAT, etc,
With them vying to shout SPLAT first.

And our row row row your boat involves bears, lions, crocodiles and throwing your granny overboard.

MelanieWiggles Sun 23-Sep-12 16:41:09

TiggyD dare I ask what the "uncle billy" ending is ??


AncientsOfMuMu Sun 23-Sep-12 16:42:05

Row row row your boat
Gently too and fro
Here comes a big wave
Over the side we go

<capsize boat>

AncientsOfMuMu Sun 23-Sep-12 16:42:50

to and fro

FrustratedSycamorePants Sun 23-Sep-12 16:43:08

How can they ban the squishing bumble bee one? It teaches children to leave bees alone (despite the fact that they look cute and cuddly)

DutchOma Sun 23-Sep-12 16:48:48

Mary had a little lamb, the midwife had kittens.

ByTheWay1 Sun 23-Sep-12 16:50:32

we used to finish

row,row,row your boat
right across the lake
if you see an octopus
give his arms a shake

and they'd shake hands with folks eight times each.... giggling lots....

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