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Summer babies for the sub-fertile: Baby thread!

(50 Posts)
Bear2014 Tue 19-Sep-17 20:55:15

Hi ladies, welcome to the new thread! How is everyone doing?

MrsCrabtree Wed 20-Sep-17 04:00:58

Hi! Thanks Bear. Excited for our new thread now we have real babies! It's 4am and I'm up feeding. Sleep, who needs it? grin all going well for us despite the sleep deprivation. Baby is a delight. DH back at work now though which is hard. How's everyone else? xxx

mistletoeprickles Wed 20-Sep-17 06:57:07

Yay found you.
I was on 4am feeding too mrscrabb, although that was when DP took over.
It is rough when they go back to work. Mine was home for almost a month and I cried ALOT when he went back.

Ds is now 7 weeks and doing well. He's now 10.5 and a very content bany. A lot easier than DD was. With DD back at school we've fallen into a bit of a routine which helps.
We've thrown ourselves into wedding planning. Unfortunately I've fallen in love with a dress that's bit discontinued xxx

Bear2014 Wed 20-Sep-17 09:18:57

Hi ladies, haha I was basically awake from 3:30 onwards last night sad he's normally pretty good but i think we're hitting the 6 week growth spurt. Not that he needs one as he weighs well over a stone already!

It's so sad when OHs go back to work. Boo.

Hope you find another dress you love, Mistletoe.

My poor sister is currently on day 6 of being induced and still not in in labour - only 1cm dilated! I really feel for them as after all that she'll probably end up having a section if it doesn't progress. But i'm so excited to finally be an auntie!!

FraggleRock77 Sat 23-Sep-17 12:34:40

Hello. Sounds like everyone is doing really well. Funny that we are on the postnatal section after all the ups and downs. Baby Hugo is still a tricky baby with reflux and colic! Plus I'm struggling with the juggle of managing two out of the house! I'm missing being adventurous and doing lots with our older DS and had forgotten how restrictive having a baby can be! I'm sure it will all pass!x

Bear2014 Mon 25-Sep-17 17:44:05

Hi Fraggle sorry to hear about the reflux and colic. Did DS1 have this?

2 out of the house is a whole new level isn't it?! I was getting so used to leaving the house with barely any stuff and staying out all day. I'm sure we'll get better with practice!

mistletoeprickles Tue 26-Sep-17 01:37:19

fraggle how old is your eldest?

With having DD I'm now doing two school runs a day. The first day it took me almost two hours to leave the house, how ill never know especially as the school is only about a 4 minute walk away.
I've got the hang of it now.
DP goes to work(he feeds dd),DD gets dressed, feed ds, I get dressed etc whilst DD plays with ds, DD's hair and teeth and we're out.
I've taken to washing and dressing ds when I get home.

We seem to of accidently fallen into a really good routine which is really helping.

It was jabs for us today. DP had to take charge because I just cry. Ds has been unsettled and really unhappy all day. Not looking forward to the next ones!

FraggleRock77 Wed 27-Sep-17 03:30:06

Thanks Bear/Mistletoe. DS is nearly 4 so won't be at school until next year. For me it's just getting into a new swing that i find anxiety provoking. I'm getting there slowly but it helps to be vocal about it x

RafflesMaidenSister Wed 27-Sep-17 05:47:18

Yay - found it! Hope you are all getting on OK. How is your sister doing Bear?

Glad everyone is OK. Hope you are feeling a bit less anxious Fraggle - we're all change today and I'm a bit panicky about it too. Our maternity nanny is leaving today. She's only been here a month but I had a bit of a secret cry yesterday because she is so lovely and Arthur adores her. Wish she would stay forever. Our full time nanny was supposed to be starting today, but it's all gone a bit wrong; basically when she was given the contract she started negotiating for more money (which we can't pay) and then decided she wasn't coming, then decided she was. I spoke to her last Wednesday and she's supposed to be coming today, but when I texted her yesterday she didn't text back, so I'm not sure if she's going to turn up or not. Frankly, even if she does it's been such a bad start I can't see it working. But it may all be OK - she seemed nice when we met her and is very qualified.

On the plus side, Arthur is awesome. He's generally very content, which is good because I panic a little bit when he cries and I can't comfort him and is doing a decent stretch at nights usually so getting a bit of sleep. Hopefully the wheels won't come off completely when the maternity nanny leaves.

Hope everyone else is doing well. Would love to hear about all the babies!

Bear2014 Wed 27-Sep-17 09:14:33

Hi ladies, welcome back Raffles! Sounds like a challenging period - I would be very dubious that I could trust that nanny to be reliable after that, what a shame. Are you going to be starting back with work pretty imminently then? You're hard core!

Mistletoe - school runs are a challenge aren't they? I take my DD to nursery 3 days a week for about 8am, Alex fast asleep in the buggy as I do it. I'm always a bit resentful that A and I could both be in bed asleep instead of pounding the streets but OH has so many early meetings at the moment she can't do it.

Fraggle, your DS is in the same school year as our DD. Do you have many open days lined up or is it quite an obvious choice? We're just over the road from a good school and we're going to the open morning on Friday which should be interesting. Scary that they're so grown up though!

Alex is a dream baby for the most part during the day he gets 10/10. He's very chilled and smiley, and will pretty much feed when it's convenient for me and DD, the rest of the time snoozing in his buggy or sling. He loves DD and grins at her, despite the fact that she gets right up in his face and makes annoying cooing noises constantly, bless her. He's up quite a bit at night at the moment, and seems to want to be awake for ages at each feed, but I think it's the 6 week growth spurt. He's 14.5lb already so no wonder.

Hope everyone is well and have a good day!

Bear2014 Wed 27-Sep-17 09:16:43

The big man!

Oh and we're an auntie, my sister ended up with a CS after a whole week of induction but is recovering well. Little girl, a diddy 6lb1! She's gorgeous smile

RafflesMaidenSister Wed 27-Sep-17 15:50:33

Lovely maternity nanny has left and new nanny has started. Hopefully it will be OK. Am hiding in my study crying. I'm such a moron but I adored our maternity nanny. She was awesome.

Congrats on being an Aunt, Bear. Hope your sister is doing well. Gorgeous picture of Alex - he is a cutey!

FraggleRock77 Wed 27-Sep-17 20:52:30

Wow Bear! He's adorable! I don't know how to upload a pic? We have already chose a school and hopefully our older DS will stay until six form. It is however a 20 min drive, which is a pain! I hope your day got better Raffles? Do you have a full time nanny because you're going back to work or you just want one? Wish i had one!!x

RafflesMaidenSister Thu 28-Sep-17 11:21:14

I've pretty much not stopped working because I'm self employed but I need to start seeing clients and going to court again so we're just getting on with it really.

Hopefully I'll get some down time in Dec and Jan to just hangout with A though.

Bear2014 Sat 30-Sep-17 18:31:57

Raffles ah yes I forgot you're self employed. Very impressive to keep the momentum going like that 👍

Fraggle on the mobile app you go to the paperclip icon when drafting your post and you can add a photo from your phone pictures. Can't think how you do it on the computer one.

RafflesMaidenSister Mon 02-Oct-17 07:54:09

I feel like it's been a bit of an error to be honest. I feel like I've had very little support from my clerks and I've been working in the middle of the night between feeds and in the day feeding, dumping poor little Arthur on the nanny/Mr RMS then shooting off to talk to tedious clients who don't actually need to speak to me.

When he was 3 days old (and when we'd been home less than 24 hours) Mr RMS's parents came and spent 7 hours with us and I barely got to touch him, except when feeding (I'm hugely resentful of them for this). Then work started back up in earnest and it hasn't stopped since. It would have been nice to spend more time just being with him. He's changed so much already and I feel acutely aware I'll never get those first days back. To top it off, I feel like I'm not doing enough for work.

But it is what it is.

How is everyone else getting on? Would love to see some more pictures. MrsCrab, did you go with Arthur as a name too? Anyone had any exciting milestones yet? Think we may be close to a smile soon, and I can't wait to see it (so the change is not all bad, or at least I hope it wont be).

MrsCrabtree Mon 02-Oct-17 08:39:28

Hi all, sorry been off radar... turns out having a baby is quite hard work!! Yes we did go with Arthur in the end smile it’s such a cute name. He is really awesome and so cute.

Raffles I don’t know how you are doing it, hats off to you. How is your new nanny going? It’s a shame the other one had to leave. I think all working mums feel guilty they aren’t doing enough on either front but I’m sure you are doing amazingly. Seriously impressive.

We are really struggling with sleep atm, he’s been up every hour through the night for the last few days. I can barely get dressed in the days let alone work confused people keep telling me it will get better but it has actually got worse as he used to sleep for 3-4 hour stretches! He seems to sleep more in the day. We’ve tried to demarcate night and day all along to get his body clock set but it doesn’t seem to be helping yet. Any ideas how to help please let me know!!

Lovely picture Bear, he’s adorable! I don’t know how you lot with older kids are doing it, it’s so all consuming for me. Well done to you x

Bear2014 Mon 02-Oct-17 10:36:16

Hi Mrscrab! Sorry you're so knackered. Is he 6 weeks? The 6 week regression can be killer. Have you tried him in a gro bag? They can help with being more cosy/settled. I'm also really rating the sleepyhead this time.

Hope nanny is going well Raffles and hope everyone else is well xx

Bear2014 Mon 02-Oct-17 10:38:56

Just seen your new post Raffles, is there any way you can step back from it for a bit? You're doing so well though, hats off!

RafflesMaidenSister Tue 03-Oct-17 18:14:09

Excellent choice MrsCrab! One of my colleagues has an Arthur as well - so now I "know" three and hadn't met a single one since my Grandad died 10 years ago. Sorry you're struggling to get any sleep - it sounds brutal. We are also using grobags and they do seem to help a bit - particularly when used with the arms tucked in because he can't wake himself by smacking himself in the face. I am in no position to give advice but before she left the maternity nanny's top tips for sleep at night were:
- make sure they are warm enough (our house is quite cold)
- tuck them in (blankets strictly below the shoulders - to play safe I keep mine below the nipples) I know this is contrary to NHS advice but take the view that overheating is unlikely in UK in October (but she also said if you were really worried about it use a muslin rather than any form of blanket)
- feed them up (we do a 2.5 hour feed and then a 3.5 hour gap before the last one of the day so he eats more at the end of the day) and I am now topping him up with half a formula feed on the last feed of the day so he goes a bit longer at night (on lovely maternity nanny's suggestion).

So far this is working for us, but I am sure this is dumb luck rather than good management and am "eagerly" awaiting the backlash. Fingers crossed though!

New nanny is going OK. She's got a trial period so we are seeing a couple of other nannies and I'm sure she is seeing other prospective families, but so far it still could work.

Re work, thanks for all your kind comments. Frankly I should have tried to be a bit less macho and just lived with the downside. But I know now if we have another one. Hopefully I am coming into a quieter period and I have had a foreign trip at the end of October moved to January so things are looking up a bit on that front. Again, fingers crossed!

Hope everyone is getting on OK and in between the worry and lack of sleep are getting to enjoy their babies.

MrsCrabtree Thu 05-Oct-17 04:46:45

Thanks both. He’s almost 5 weeks... dreading the 6 week regression then! confused

He has some reflux and evenings are fraught. He has actually slept slightly better the last two nights so that’s good. Lots of good suggestions - we have a sleepyhead which he likes, but he doesn’t like the grobags much. We do a loose swaddle/tucking him in like you describe raffles. He likes access to his hands. Good advice - might try making but sure he’s a bit warmer and feeding up more if I can. Haven’t tried formula top up but that’s worth considering too. When you say a 2.5 hour feed raffles do you mean literally feeding for 2.5 hours??

Glad you are getting sleep, the new nanny is good so far, and work is manageable. Fingers crossed it stays that way!! With babies nothing is certain is it!

Hope you’re still getting on well with both your LOs Bear. Good thoughts out to everyone else! X

RafflesMaidenSister Thu 05-Oct-17 09:57:15

No sorry! I explained that badly! Throughout the day I feed every three hours (he spends between 25 minutes and 50 minutes eating usually. That's quite long enough!). But last two feeds (on three hours would be 8pm and 11 pm) I feed after 2.5 hours - so 7.30 pm and then at 11 pm so he has longer before the 11 pm feed. That way he's a little bit hungrier, more awake and eats more so he can go for a bit longer in the night. It's the formula top up that really makes the difference though I think.

Glad he's slept a little bit better and hope you are feeling not too horrifically sleep deprived.

Bear2014 Thu 05-Oct-17 20:24:13

Mrscrab have you tried a crib wedge to help with reflux? A gets quite sicky so i tilt his mattress slightly and i think it helps. He's v close to finding his thumb (like his sister did at 10 weeks) but in the meantime he's comfort feeding like crazy and gets really greedy which i think is why he brings so much back up again.

Impressed that anyone manages to get on any kind of feeding schedule with breastfeeding. It's all pretty ad hoc with us during the day, tends to be every 2-4 hours at night with the first stretch from 8/9 pm being the longest. So as he's asleep now I probably should be too! Hope everyone has an ok night.

Oh and DD was going to be Arthur if she was a boy! We went with Alexander instead this time for family reasons but it's still one of my most favourite names 👍

MrsCrabtree Sat 07-Oct-17 11:03:23

Thanks both. Bear I did try propping up his sleepyhead with a towel under one end. Seemed to help for a couple of nights but then last night was even worse than ever!! So so tired. The sicking seems a bit better actually though but now he’s just not sleeping. I’d really like to try a formula top up raffles but DH isn’t keen, he’s worried about messing up my milk supply confused plus he does seem full when we put him down, it’s just he then wakes up quickly. Sigh hopefully things will improve soon. Of course I am just still so grateful he is here at all! X

RafflesMaidenSister Tue 10-Oct-17 14:58:50

MrsCrab - the formula top up has had no discernible effect on my milk supply - which makes sense to me since it is additional to a usual feed and only a small amount (I offer him half a feed, but he rarely has it all so usually has about an ounce of formula). But - see below - I am clearly not the right person to be offering advice.

Been to the doctors for my six week check up and it basically sucked. I have thrush in my nipples and therefore Arthur probably has it in his mouth. My scar is still infected but they wont give more oral antibiotics just cream. So what was a nice incision is now looking like ending up being a pretty ugly scar with three weeping openings on it that "might" need to be restitched. And finally, I'm still anaemic. Really starting to wish I hadn't breast fed at all. I'm uncomfortable, no doubt if Arthur has it he's going to be uncomfortable and I don't know what effect not having enough iron will have on A.

Hope things are going better MrsCrab and you are getting some sleep. Bear, it is sheer dumb luck - I think I have a very easy baby, for which I am incredibly grateful. Hope Alexander is still doing well and that your niece is growing well.

If anyone else is still out there hope you are all getting on well too!

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