What happened to old fashioned home parties..??

(50 Posts)
MrsD79 Mon 08-May-17 20:17:59

With 2 birthdays ahead of us this and 2 pestering kids pleading for parties, the impending cost made me think why oh why oh why is it such a huge palava? Every single invite my kids have had is for a party in a hired venue with an entertainer! We never had that. It was at home in the front room, mum made a trifle and sandwiches and the cake. We didn't have entertainment! My query is why is it now the norm to hire a venue etc. It costs a bloomin fortune! Is it wrong to take a trip back to nostalgia? After all if it was good enough back then, what's the problem now? We don't want people in our homes, we don't want to be judged, we are scared, germs even, or we just want to show off?

OP’s posts: |
CaulkheadNorth Mon 08-May-17 20:21:40

Less cleaning up and less distruption and faff to have it else where.

SecretNutellaFix Mon 08-May-17 20:22:49

Modern houses are a heck of a lot smaller than the house in which I grew up and there is next to no outside play space for kids to run around if it's not pouring with rain?

Penhacked Mon 08-May-17 20:26:27

We do home parties. Don't invite the whole class, just my his close friends. Invite parents as well and habe a drink play pass the parcel.

MirriMazDuur Mon 08-May-17 20:26:38

I don't understand why anyone would have a party at home when they could pay someone else to do it for them. I can't think of anything worse than having 20+ kids and potentially their parents at my house and having to organise party games. AWFUL. I'd far rather throw money at it and make the problem go away.

Lules Mon 08-May-17 20:28:36

My DC are too young for this to be a problem yet, but I live in a flat so there would be no space for a children's party.

MagnumAddict Mon 08-May-17 20:29:49

My DS is at that age yet but I'm guessing number of guests plays a big part these days. Aren't whole class parties quite a big thing?

My ds's first bday was definitely a small family affair in the house after a day out just the three of us. I will enjoy that type of birthday as long as I can get away with it!!!


Slightlyperturbedowlagain Mon 08-May-17 20:30:47

Nope it's because I work so don't have the inclination to spend the spare time I've got catering and organising games like my mum did, I plus a group of small boys are hideously lively and need space to rush around, which we don't have (and have winter birthdays). I'd rather pay someone else to clear up and not have the house trashed. Now the oldest is at the stage of having 2 or 3 friends over for pizza and film/games and sleepover for his birthday instead we are happy to do that at home. Actually my dad was banned from having any more birthday parties at the age of 7 (in about 1955) when they inadvertently trashed the house, so it's not a new thing grin

SauvignonGrower Mon 08-May-17 20:32:11

Nobody had whole class parties in the 1980s, as I recall. House parties would have maybe 6 guests. The whole class thing is the norm for years R and 1 in our village.

Yika Mon 08-May-17 20:34:44

Here whee I live it's a mix, some people do home parties with traditional party games and tea and they are very much appreciated, just as much as the big events. Depends on whether time,money or space is your main issue.

YesILikeItToo Mon 08-May-17 20:34:55

I did not invite the whole class to parties in my home, and I don't want to invite the whole class here! I've done them, for fourth and fifth birthdays, and I'll do them again (not sure - eighth? Ninth?), but for the whole class period, it's a hall and a professional for me.

ApocalypseNowt Mon 08-May-17 20:35:34

Most parties DD1 has been invited to have been at venues but there have been a couple at people's houses.

For me my DC have birthdays very close together so are still doing 'shared' parties so even not inviting most of the class there are a significant number of children. I'd rather pay and have someone else organise it. I get to enjoy the party more and talk to other parents and someone else has to clean up! Win win.

I do however throw a massive halloween bash at my house every year. It starts at 2pm and goes on into the evening (children have left/been put to bed at that point). I don't mind doing that because I lurve halloween. may have already started planning this year's do

ErrolTheDragon Mon 08-May-17 20:36:27

Some of DD's parties were at home - not the ones when she was in KS1 and the done thing is to invite the whole class but at 3 and 4 and some in the 10-13 range, I think about 8 girls. They seemed to have a lot of fun ... yes, even tweens and teens enjoy silly games. Food mainly pizza and icecream, not hard to do.

defineme Mon 08-May-17 20:37:54

My kids have been to lots of home parties, usually a theme eg dvds and popcorn or fancy dress and 'disco', but pretty low key, most recent was a sleepover where they made their own pizzas and played football in the garden.
I think it's the mess and responsibility being handed over to professionals that appeals, and also at primary school it's nice to be inclusive and invite the whole class. I have twins in the same class, but I did an out of school party whole class party for about £100- £30 for 2 hour hire of church hall that had a kitchen attached I did hot dogs or a cheese roll, crisps, followed by jelly and ice cream plus squash which honestly cost about £20 from costco. Got mates rates on a bouncy castle for £40 from a friend of a friend. My mum makes their birthday cake and party bags were a slice of the cake, balloons and sweets. We used the toys from the playgroup that used the hall and I did party games. We wouldn't have had room at home and i would have been stressed about 30 kids running amok.

MrsD79 Mon 08-May-17 20:40:31

Pros and cons to everything as usual but why have the whole class? Nobody likes everybody. I'm gona stick to my guns on this one. I'm not going to cripple myself by spending £500+ just for the sake of not offending the whole class. Sod that! By the way the birthday is a week before Christmas and also have house and car insurance due same month. Happy effing days!

OP’s posts: |
Cerberusia Mon 08-May-17 20:43:11

I had a party at home once. Never, ever again. The planning was way more time consuming than I thought it would be, I spent the whole party running around sorting out arguments, and doing food. Plus, the mess at the end was unbelievable. Much easier to go to a soft play place for a couple of hours and relax while they sort everything out. Money well spent IMO.

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Mon 08-May-17 20:43:41

£500+ shock believe me we have never spent anything vaguely approaching that.

SheepyFun Mon 08-May-17 20:48:32

It must depend on where you are - DD is 4, and has been to 8 parties in the last 6 months. 5 of those were at home (including her own). Only one of those homes was big enough to accommodate 30 children (yes, really!), the rest had far fewer guests. I did take a day off to make our house suitable for her party - given what I'm paid it would have been 'cheaper' to hire a hall (though we'd still have needed to do the entertainment). DD is already talking about her 5th birthday party, so we'll do something, but I think she enjoys smaller groups more, so it'll probably be at home again. I'm only willing to do something seriously expensive per head for far fewer guests!

Iwannasnack Mon 08-May-17 20:48:35

I've done a mix of both. When we've hired a venue it's been a village hall for about £50. Still done food and games myself. Just gives the kids a bigger area to run around and I can relax about things getting broken/trashed.

MrsD79 Mon 08-May-17 20:49:11

Living in London is a piss take! I was quoted £254 for a basic entertainer & £100 for community hall. Add to that food, drinks & the usual birthday tat and it soon adds up! Oh well. Thanks for all the opinions Guys! 😉

OP’s posts: |
Nicpem1982 Mon 08-May-17 21:39:15

I don't think there's anything wrong with a home party but my dd is 2.5 and I can't think of anything worse than 20 toddlers running riot in my house!
I'm happy to pay a vendor to do it for me

Notso Mon 08-May-17 21:52:13

It's the parents staying that put me off doing home parties. Nobody seems to leav their kids anymore. I could squeeze a class full of kids in but not their parents and the usual siblings who tag along.

MrsD79 Mon 08-May-17 22:03:35

No absolutely you gotta limit it. I'm thinking 6 or 7 6 /7 yr old girls. If they were younger than that, then I would refuse to host. They are old enough to eat / wee/ wash hands etc. I would never do toddlers at home like (2-4) yr olds. Noooo way!!! I haven't totally lost my mind yet!

OP’s posts: |
ErrolTheDragon Mon 08-May-17 22:20:24

If they're so young they need a parent to stay (preschoolers) then no more than 5-6 - little kids won't enjoy a huge crowd. I never had a parent (and certainly not a sib) of an older child thinking they should (or could) stay for an 'at home' party.

Top tip for getting overexcited kids to calm down before the food is to play Sleeping Lions.

Blueflowers2011 Tue 09-May-17 12:55:22

£500+ believe me we have never spent anything vaguely approaching that

I have just done a whole class party which cost us quite a bit in excess of that after entertainer, hall and food for adults and kids, party bags etc. I also live in London and had to swallow the escalating cost. Siblings were also invited.

We started off with the hall and entertainer topping £350 then the rest just escalated.

We hired a hall because there is no way I want anybody in our flat, even though it is a good size. We hosted a small party at Christmas for 10 children and parents, never again. It was a mess and too stressful to organise in the lead up, we both work all the time and impossible to organise with kids wanting to play with you every second of the day.

We hired an entertainer and they did a super job entertaining 2hrs+. I do not want to be doing that myself at all. They took the stress away so I could do the 'good bits'.

We wont be doing it every year, but at this age (6) we thought this would be the one to do it and everyone had a great time, adults included. I feel it's nice to offer food to parents as well as children so that's simply my choice.

Would do it again even knowing the costs involved as it was easy, in terms of I didnt have to entertain one single person.

The LAST thing I am is a show off, far from it. I did the big class party because I felt it would be a nice thing to do and involve everyone instead of being selective for once.

Would have home party for a small handful of friends if DS wanted to, no issues there But I would prefer to talk into taking them bowling or cinema or football party.

It's not the 1980's anymore.

But you should feel no pressure, just do whatever you want to do and what fits in well with your family. Every party is different and there are plenty enough that are held at home too.

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in