What happened to old fashioned home parties..??

[MrsD79]

With 2 birthdays ahead of us this and 2 pestering kids pleading for parties, the impending cost made me think why oh why oh why is it such a huge palava? Every single invite my kids have had is for a party in a hired venue with an entertainer! We never had that. It was at home in the front room, mum made a trifle and sandwiches and the cake. We didn't have entertainment! My query is why is it now the norm to hire a venue etc. It costs a bloomin fortune! Is it wrong to take a trip back to nostalgia? After all if it was good enough back then, what's the problem now? We don't want people in our homes, we don't want to be judged, we are scared, germs even, or we just want to show off?

[eastwest]

I would also love to have parties at home. But as people have said,
nowadays people seem to invite the whole class. And no-one has space for the whole 30 kids plus parents (they're only little, parents stay), everyone lives in small terraced houses or flats. And it is scarily possible to spend 500 when you're feeding and entertaining 30 kids.
i think that next year when dc has made a solid group of friends, and we've settle into the new house a bit more, I will have a home party. I do prefer them. BUT, we are lucky to have that option. We were living in a very small flat till a month ago and it would have been absolutely impossible. It is funny how things have changed from the 80s I agree. People have more cash to spend, but still, no room -space at home is the real luxury these days. And these days of course so many more families have two parents working f-t.

[Hygellig]

I had parties at home as a child - maybe 6-8 children round for a party tea and games like Musical Statues/Bumps/Chairs, Pass the Parcel etc. The only big party I had was a swimming party when I was 11. Now we have a big house and I don't mind making food, but now I'd be too anxious to stand up in front of a group of children and entertain them and organise games. DS had a science party at home for his 6th (everyone said we were brave having it at home!) but before that we did soft play parties. We have a big garden, so if they had summer birthdays I would proably hire a bouncy castle and hope that the weather stayed good.

One friend of mine did a party at home with some Lego-themed games, but apart from that all the parties we've been to have been at soft play, or at a hall with an entertainer.

[Blueflowers2011]

Wayfarersonbaby perfectly voiced, that's what I was trying to say.

Hire of hall for this year was so much easier, it's what DS1 wanted to do because we have never done it, yes will pay whatever we have to pay, but that's my choice. Not because I want to show off, im not competitive in the slightest and part of the 'party game' as others put, but because this really is the easiest thing for us.

Having a party for a few friends at home would ideally be much more easier and manageable. I will do that too definitely as son gets older, I am sure it is equally just as good or even better sometimes. But when you live in a first floor flat, although there is a large enough garden, logisitically it doesnt work.

I dont think there is a right or wrong here, every type of party is great but I really dont think people should judge if people do the whole class thing, spending money etc. It's down to personal circumstance for a lot of people, house/flat, time to organise etc. We both work full time and DH works every weekend so I really dont mind paying for it. It's not going to be every year.

[beingsunny]

I live in a small apartment, sadly no space for parties

[BitOutOfPractice]

My DD2 had a home party with games etc when she was 8ish and it went down a storm!

[RiverTamFan]

I used to help run a kid's sports club and we ran hugely popular parties at Christmas and Halloween for members who used to bring half a dozen friends each. Apparently it was because I ran "traditional" party games like Musical Chairs, Pass the Parcel etc. In this age of so many soft play parties and school discos an actual party had a novelty value!

[trilbydoll]

DD goes to two childcare settings, plus an nct group = about 20 kids invited plus younger siblings. She's only 4 so parents still stay. I think our house is literally about 10% of the size I would need to accommodate them all I'm thinking this will do for a couple of years and then I will try to guide her down the "outing with a couple of friends" route.

[Eschra]

And frankly we bothcwork full time. who carrs about the mess, or throwing a load of money at a birthday just to have it go away. my daughter's pleasure is far more important than "the hassle" to me. she's only young to make childhood memories once. I'd rather she remember the effort I went to on her behalf than I chucked a load of money we don't have to make the hassle go away.

[Eschra]

A lot of our friends do home parties. we love them. It'll be either home party or local sports club for us this year, but self catered and we will do all the games at ourselves. While wacky warehouses etc are okay, TBH after a while they all become samey samey and boring. my 3.5yo daughter much prefers the individual parties where really thought has been put into them.

[Wayfarersonbaby]

I'd love to do parties at home - I've a great nostalgia for the kids' parties of my 1980s youth!

There's nothing like old fashioned party games - musical bumps, sleeping lions, pin the tail on the donkey, pass the parcel, musical chairs, what's the time Mr Wolf, Simon Says, and a few musical ones like Oranges and Lemons and In and Out the Dusty Bluebells. Followed by all piling in to the front room to squeeze around a table on mismatched chairs for the "party tea": scratchy paper tablecloths, meat paste and Primula sandwiches, hula hoops, Skips, Ringos, a cheese and pineapple hedgehog, cocktail sausages, jellies in little pots with squirty cream on the top, butterfly cakes, party rings, jam puff biscuits, Cadbury's animal biscuits and chocolate fingers. Then into the garden for a run around, and finally a thin plastic party bag full of the usual tat you can still get today. It wasn't a proper party for me unless you left with a balloon and one of those necklaces made of sweets.

I would LOVE to do the same for DD. But times change...and all that. When I was a kid everyone had bigger houses - even if they were just a standard 3-bed semi or terrace. Now, house prices are massively inflated everyone I know lives in a teeny flat or terraced house with 2 beds and no room to swing a cat. We only have one sofa to sit on, so about 3 people can fit in our living room at any one time, and nowhere to fit any kids around a table; our garden is like a pocket handkerchief. (I'm often sad thinking about the gardens of houses where I grew up - it's not like they were palatial, but they weren't minuscule scraps of patio either, just proper gardens with a lawn and flowerbeds and maybe a swing. My DD doesn't have anywhere to play like that and it does break my heart a bit.

We had DD's first proper party at a church hall nearby which was v cheap to hire - but once you've hired a hall, you tend to need something like an entertainer or soft play to occupy the children because it's not a home with toys and a garden for playing. Everyone I know seems to do that - hire a room or hall, do a buffet and games/hire an entertainer or activity for the kids. But then everyone is in the same boat as us with the teeny houses (in this town a 2-bed workers' cottage with one downstairs room and a downstairs bathroom can easily go for £575k+....so you have to be on fantasy money or seriously lucky with a massive inheritance to afford what was quite a normal working class 3-bed house where/when I grew up.)

[Graceflorrick]

We've spent lots on DDs birthday party, the last one probably was between £4-500. I don't really mind but I'm hoping they'll get cheaper as she gets older (sleepovers, films, treats etc).

[2cats2many]

Huggy Bears

[2cats2many]

I live in London and have always spent around £150ish plus food and party bags. The kinds of things we've done have been hire the swimming pool or sports hall party. I've done home parties too which have been ace.

I did whole class parties in R and Y1. After that, they know who their friends are and it can all be scaled down.

Huggy Bears are really good for a make your own bear party at home. It's about £8 or so per teddy and the soft toys becomes the party bag too.

[gincamelbak]

We've just had DD's party at home. 9 kids (plus her younger brother and a friend's baby sister) about 4 mums stayed. I did pass the parcel, pin the tail on the donkey and they had food in the living room - sandwiches, sausages, carrot sticks and cake.

Apart from massively overdoing the sandwiches, it wasn't that much of a PITA. The kids mostly wanted to play with toys and colour in, the parents ate the food and gossiped. I think they appreciated it was at home and within walking distance to their homes rather than a drive away.

We couldn't afford a whole class party. We couldn't face another soft play party. The one at home was great fun.

[Littleraincloud]

We've had both and the one at home was best. We invited 6 kids between 4 and 5 and it was lovely. It helped it wasn't raining as I put them in the garden to run off steam and just played it by ear. When they got silly I moved onto the next game

[naturalbaby]

I live in Europe and things are a bit more old fashioned here. We have a few kids round for traditional party games, food and 2hrs later pack them off home. At first I felt guilty that my son wasn't getting the fancy decorated cakes and activities like his uk friends but now I'm getting school friends telling me how nice my home made chocolate cake is .

I've did the village hall and entertainer thing in England. It was beginning to feel very much like keeping up with the Jones's - the kids hardly noticed all the effort we went to so it was mostly for show.

I kind of like the old fashioned way - no worrying about the theme, expensive decorations that the kids barely notice but I do miss being able to pay someone to entertain loads of kids for me so I can have a coffee and chat with my friends!

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

I do not want to try to compete in the 'party' game.
I know what you mean. We had that at nursery but refused to compete. Fortunately we live in a school area that is more 'normal'.

[CottonSock]

I've hired a scout Hut. It's 25 quid for an afternoon. Yes thanks

[AngelPot81]

My older two (18 and 14) always had parties at home with about 16 friends but when my younger so turned 5 he hadn't formed close friendships so we invited the whole class and hired a hall because I did not want 30 children and parents at mine. His 6th birthday will be at home with a bouncy castle and pass the parcel. I do not want to try to compete in the 'party' game.

[Titsywoo]

And there wasn't much choice back then. I'm sure if there were our parents would have utilised it.

I had one party for DD at our house for just the girls in our class. It was a nightmare. One girl broke the handle on our back door hanging off it. I said never again after that.

[Titsywoo]

All the birthday parties I went to in the 80s for school friends were at venues other than their homes. I had one with a magician in a church hall. Lots had them in a leisure centre that had a load of gym equipment set up in a circuit (gym horse, benches, ropes, mats etc).

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

I'm sure it was a nice party Blueflowers We just pitch within our price bracket- did a whole class party in reception class jointly with another child in the class at a wacky warehouse on a half-term Tuesday teatime for I think £7.50 per child. Asda cake, and a small bag of sweets and a balloon each. It was ok split between two families. kids whose parents were at work helped each other out so they didn't miss out, a few were on holiday so about 25 children there all together it was hell on earth for 2 hours they loved it. I doubt they would have liked it any more if it had been more expensive. DS just remembers having a great time rushing round like crazy with his friends, Tommy got stuck on a rope ladder and Billy was sick on the floor. (*names have been changed)

[Liska]

Dd is 10, and all the parties we've had have been at home. She gets to invite up to 7 kids, and we do various games. Alway pass the parcel. We used to do musical bumps/statues, but the last two we've had a treasure hunt round the house, and hook a duck in an old paddling pool in the garden (hook a duck kit courtesy of Poundland). Then sit down tea of sandwiches crisps and birthday cake. They love it. All the parents say their kids have come back really happy having had a great time. Really don't see the need for whole class parties. She's been to some that are very similar, some in halls, and one friend always has hers at an adventure playground (apparently the kids don't like those very much, but the girl is really popular and fun - no one's ever told the parents). I genuinely don't understand why you'd bother with anything big and complicated when they are little. Next year, of course, we'll be changing up to proper tween stuff.

[Blueflowers2011]

sorry for long post, that was longer than i thought.