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Baby cried when held by grandad

10 replies

twinklytreelights · 13/12/2014 22:40

Until about 2 weeks ago, my 3.5 month old DS didn't seem to have a preference for who held/looked after him. But now he seems to be showing a preference for me. For example, sometimes at bedtime he starts crying (proper, full on wails), but if I am in the vicinity, he won't settle for DH however much rocking/cuddling he does.

Yesterday my parents looked after DS for the first time. It is also the first time I have been away from him for more than 2 hours. When they arrived, he seemed to be in a good mood, but it was about time for a nap. When I handed him over to DF, he immediately started crying, so I had to take him back to settle him. He seemed better with DM though (perhaps has a preference for women?). I left shortly afterwards, and from what I gather, the afternoon was mixed with him being happy/playing/chatting away for a bit, then getting grouchy and crying again when he got tired. For the last nap, DH (who was in the house but working upstairs), ended up settling him.

DS was perfectly fine when I got home, so I may be worrying too much. My parents really want to look after him, but I want it to be a pleasant experience for everyone. I just want to know if this is normal, and when he might grow out of it?

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qazxc · 13/12/2014 22:58

Totally normal. DD was the same. It's the age that they start realizing who is who, so go from being happy from anyone holding them to being clingy to you and crying if someone else has them.
IME it's worse if they know that you are around. When they realize you aren't they will settle for another familiar figure.
Don't worry he'll grow out of it.

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CatsClaus · 13/12/2014 23:00

maybe grandad pinched him?

seriously don't read too much into it, babies like the same, and anything different is worth commenting on.

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OttiliaVonBCup · 13/12/2014 23:04

My great grand mother used to pinch me.
Until I pinched her back when I was a toddler.

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OttiliaVonBCup · 13/12/2014 23:16

I must add this is most likely not what is happening to your DS.

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BlackbirdOnTheWire · 13/12/2014 23:31

IME grandfathers are more nervous holding babies. My DF definitely didn't pinch(!) but you could see him tense up and his arms would be locked. He was terrified of dropping them. I reckon they sensed this, which made them cry, which made my poor father more nervous... FIL was the same, but would only hold a baby when sitting down with a cushion on his lap!

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BlackbirdOnTheWire · 13/12/2014 23:32

And yes, both sides grow out of it!

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Hubb · 13/12/2014 23:34

My DS was the same with his grandad at that age. It only took a few weeks of him seeing (very patient) grandad regularly, with no forced cuddles, for DS to relax. Now, after a lot of attention and spoiling, my FIL is the absolute favourite and DS cries when he doesn't pick him up, no exaggerating at all!!

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scarletforya · 13/12/2014 23:36

My dd was the same. She dislikes men, unfortunately she hasn't grown out of it at 2.6.

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WiggleGinger · 14/12/2014 11:51

Please don't fret.
Dd was exactly the same.
I agree with previous posters that its likely to stem from df's nerves that's all.
It will get better!

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twinklytreelights · 14/12/2014 22:17

I hope he will grow out of it by the time he is 1, as the GPs will be looking after him 1 day a week when I go back to work!