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Spicy foof

(131 Posts)

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Sparklfairy Tue 10-Mar-20 11:37:45

Not really AIBU but to be honest I don't think MN have a topic for this!

I batch cooked a curry yesterday. I'm a chilli head, and have a little jar of death that I add very sparingly to it to make it the heat that I want (no one else will be eating it!).

Clearly I've dripped some over the side of the jar and got it on my fingers. I didn't really notice, didn't rub my eyes or anything. Then I went for a wee and wiped...

I'm now sitting here, legs crossed, fanny on fire. Help! It'll probably pass shortly hopefully without any lasting damage and I'm not about to go slathering mayonnaise or milk or whatever on the area, but can any kind MNer's please distract me!?

should probably NC after this

OP’s posts: |
GordonBennett20 Tue 10-Mar-20 11:40:04

😂😂😂 I would definitely get a cold flannel on it ASAP!!

Windyatthebeach Tue 10-Mar-20 11:41:22

Botox lips!!

AlexaCanBuggerOff Tue 10-Mar-20 11:41:30

This is the greatest thread title grin

I feel your pain! (Well not right now, but I have in the past 🤣)

Marshmallow91 Tue 10-Mar-20 11:41:49

You've made my day, OP grin

weedoogie Tue 10-Mar-20 11:42:00


HopeYouStepOnALego Tue 10-Mar-20 11:42:52

I think I'd put the water temp on cold and direct the shower head at my bits until I felt some relief grin

Sparklfairy Tue 10-Mar-20 11:44:10

Well, there's me hoping for sympathy and you're all laughing at me! grin

No weedoogie. I refuse to start applying random home remedies to my vag!

OP’s posts: |
Sirzy Tue 10-Mar-20 11:45:03

I was really expecting the thread title to be the best typo ever! grin

youareatwatadmitit Tue 10-Mar-20 11:45:30

That's one way to get a DIY trout pout grin

shittingmysel Tue 10-Mar-20 11:47:03

Then at least go and sit in a cold bath for the sake of your foof.

Mamalifeee Tue 10-Mar-20 11:47:38

Been there OP with chillies hahah I stood in the bath with the shower head blowing out freezing cold water then put a load of yoghurt on it then wrapped a towel around me for two hours haha! Then my partner came home while I was dropping the towel to go back in shower to rinse off he kind of thought I had to much fun while he was at work with all the the lovely white stuff around my downstairs grin

iklboo Tue 10-Mar-20 11:47:49

Honestly yoghurt will help. It's a remedy for thrush. Just use plain Greek whole fat though. Don't try sticking a Müller Corner up there grin.

slipperywhensparticus Tue 10-Mar-20 11:48:20


Sparklfairy Tue 10-Mar-20 11:52:41

It must have got on my fingers when I put the jar away this morning sad I've showered since and washed my hands loads of times. WHY IS IT STILL STINGING

OP’s posts: |
InTheSummerhouse Tue 10-Mar-20 12:01:35

Yoghurt or milk will work better than water

MulticolourMophead Tue 10-Mar-20 12:01:54

It's still stinging because the bit in chillies that causes the irritation is not soluble in water so isn't being washed away properly.

The reason yoghurt works is because it's dairy and has fats in it. The chill bit thatvirritates is soluble in fats, so the yoghurt helps.

BrimfulofSasha Tue 10-Mar-20 12:10:29

have you got any yoghurt?

JohnnyJohnnyYesMama Tue 10-Mar-20 12:11:42

Sorry op nothing helpful but gringringrin

Sparklfairy Tue 10-Mar-20 12:16:33

No yoghurt. I do need to go to the supermarket soon though. Going to wait until I'm not walking funny...

OP’s posts: |
BuzzShitbagBobbly Tue 10-Mar-20 12:20:30

You can neutralise strong smells by rubbing your hands on a stainless steel sink.

Maybe it works for sensation as well?

Although close the blinds first, you don't want to look like a dog with worms, scooting over your worktops.

Gazelda Tue 10-Mar-20 12:25:29

* Honestly yoghurt will help. It's a remedy for thrush. Just use plain Greek whole fat though. Don't try sticking a Müller Corner up there* .


Soubriquet Tue 10-Mar-20 12:27:12


Describe your walk?

Is John Wayne style or like a cross legged bunny hop?

LeaderBee Tue 10-Mar-20 12:29:41

I've chopped chilli's and been to the loo before. My pee pee was burning.
In all honesty, dairy will work but any oil should do as well so give that a try - only problem is you'll have a greasy foof instead and I don't know if that sounds any better.

Zaphodsotherhead Tue 10-Mar-20 12:32:36

I thought that if a curry was too spicy you put a potato in it? Maybe you could shove a bag of oven chips up and see what happens?

Actually, now I come to think of it I might be thinking about exhaust pipes. DO NOT put a bag of oven chips up your exhaust pipe...

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