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Have you ever told a little white lie or there's been a misunderstanding that's just spiraled out of control?

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BillyBullshitter Thu 22-Oct-15 12:22:44

This happened to me the other week and has come back to bite me. I fell over on my way to work a couple of weeks ago blush and got mud up my jeans. No problem as I always have spare clothes in my office for when it's pissing down.

However, on my way in I bumped into a colleague who commented on the mud. I replied and said the dog jumped up at me.

"Oh, I didn't know you have a dog. We must go walking together one time", she said.

Rather than me saying "Oh no, sorry, it was just a random dog" or actually just telling her that I went arse over tit, I went "grin Ooh, lovely."

I got to my office, shook my head at what an idiot I am and thought nothing more of it.

This morning she has texted me "Hi Billy. Just wondering if you fancy going over the fields on Saturday with the dogs? About 11am."

I have no idea what "the fields" are but assume I would know if I actually had a dog.

I don't feel like I can text back and say it was all an elaborate bullshit to cover the fact I fell over because this makes me look like a knob on so many levels.
So, what are my options here?! Tell her the dog is dead. No, that's horrible. Tell her I'd love to and then beg, steal, borrow or buy a dog in the next 40 hours. Possibly but that's just adding to the lie. I haven't decided.

Tell me your stories of white lie spiraling?

JonSnowKnowsNowt Thu 22-Oct-15 12:26:07

ha ha ha ha.

Can you say, sorry, i wasn't clear, it's just a dog I was looking after for a friend who's on holiday, and they are coming back at the weekend?

MoriartyIsMyAngel Thu 22-Oct-15 12:28:01

Borrow a neighbours dog? (And hope she doesn't know the dog?) Or put her off for as long as it takes to adopt onw {grin]

This sounds like it could be a Miranda episode!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 22-Oct-15 12:39:09

Yep. This happened to me at the supermarket while I was pregnant. I was buying fish fingers, petit filous etc and generally indulging my cravings when the lady at the till asked me how many kids I have. I was too embarrassed to say that I was pregnant with my first and that all the kids food was for me so I said, "two" thinking that would be the end of it. Oh no. The lovely lady started asking me all these questions and before I knew it I had a whole imaginary family. But when she asked me where my "son" went to school, I went blank! What kind of mother doesn't know where her imaginary son goes to school?! So I said that he'd been excluded from school and that I was too upset to talk about it. blushhmm

What is wrong with me?! I blame pregnancy! We have to get all our food delivered now...

AnnaMarlowe Thu 22-Oct-15 12:39:28

What a pickle! (Why on earth weren't you honest?)

What Jon said. It's your only hope.

nameschangerer Thu 22-Oct-15 12:46:55

I once went to the hairdressers on my 18th birthday and she asked me if I was up to anything special etc. As hairdressers do. So I told her it was my birthday and she said happy birthday and asked how old I was. I really didn't want to chat and I knew if I'd said 18 it would have invoked all the usual oh wow big birthday chat. So I lied and said 30. I look young for my age anyway but that was really ridiculous. I remember her not talking to me after that, so I got the silence I wanted....

Also yeah I know 30 isn't exactly a non landmark birthday!

MaidOfStars Thu 22-Oct-15 12:48:55

I have had a friend spiral a lie to me, regarding the number of children his (then) partner had. I have no idea why he told me the wrong number in the first place, and when it came out, it turned out that he didn't either.

Such a silly thing to continue to lie about. I don't know if he genuinely got it wrong in the first place, and was then embarrassed because he felt he should have known such an important detail. He spent six months carefully picking around it, then let it slip one night and casually mentioned [different number].

Baffling. It wasn't anything to do with me, I didn't care how many children she had.

VelvetShroudatMidnight Thu 22-Oct-15 12:50:51

Tell her you were looking after your parents' dog while they were on holiday, but they are back now smile

BillyBullshitter Thu 22-Oct-15 13:12:44

Lorela grin That's amazing. Hope your imaginary son is back on the straight and narrow now

nameschangerer Haha! Many times I've given a whole load of bullshit to hairdressers about my plans for nights out when I'm actually at home in my PJs watching shit TV. Never been caught out though.

Thanks for suggestion of a friend's/parent's dog, that's actually brilliant. I'm going to text her back now to say the dog's gone back home.

Anna I wasn't honest because, as a 30 year old professional woman, I felt like a dick saying I fell over on my way to work. It's not icy, I wasn't wearing stupid shoes, I did actually just fall over blush.

Eminado Thu 22-Oct-15 13:16:56


Your imaginary son got excluded?!?!? Bit extreme isn't it?! Bwaaahaaahaaa!!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Thu 22-Oct-15 13:17:51

Get a dog?

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 22-Oct-15 13:18:04

Glad I'm not the only one who gets in these pickles... It was hard explaining to my DH why we couldn't go back to the supermarket!

PolkadotsAndMoonbeams Thu 22-Oct-15 13:23:21

I was once asked how old my baby was by the cashier at the supermarket - I was buying baby shampoo and Milton. I completely panicked and said five months and then had a slightly desperate conversation about what a lovely age it is.

I didn't have any children, and never went back to that supermarket...

DadDadDad Thu 22-Oct-15 13:23:37

Simple - just tell them LorelaiVictoria's grown-up son does all the dog-walking for you now. Imaginary son - imaginary dog. grin

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 22-Oct-15 13:26:19

I know it's a bit extreme! I just couldn't think of anything else. I'd said that his name was John and that he is 7. Do they even exclude 7 yo?! Thank god she didn't ask me what he'd done to get excluded. That was the longest check out of my life!

GrizzlebertGrumbledink Thu 22-Oct-15 13:33:53

I accidentally lied in my university interview, they started with a nice easy question "what's your favourite a level subject?" And I just absolutely panicked and said English literature, no idea why! They looked really perplexed and double checked their paperwork where I hadn't mentioned studying English. I came clean immediately though and explained how ridiculously nervous I was. They all laughed at me but offered me a place!

LorelaiVictoriaGilmore Thu 22-Oct-15 13:54:06

DadDadDad grin

I'm not sure that my imaginary son should be trusted with the dog! Maybe when he's older... He could babysit Polkadots baby too... grin

ItchyArmpits Thu 22-Oct-15 16:01:48

I let a colleague think my name was Jo. My name isn't Jo. I don't know where he got that from. I think after about six weeks or so he must have figured it out (both the incorrect name and how weird it was of me not to correct it) because he has avoided me ever since blush

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant Thu 22-Oct-15 16:05:09

Just say it was a random dog, but you accept the offer a walk anyway hmm

thatstoast Thu 22-Oct-15 16:13:16

DH is a massive geek. Pre children I had a fictional child I would buy Xmas presents for rather than admit to curious shop assistants the toys were for my husband. "Yes, he's 8. He's asked Santa for nerf guns and lego."

DH has had similar conversation when I wanted a build a bear pony.

MoriartyIsMyAngel Thu 22-Oct-15 16:19:47

How about this? You broke up with your boyfriend and he got custody of the dog, and you're too upset to talk about it much?

BillyBullshitter Thu 22-Oct-15 16:44:39

I texted her earlier and told her that the dog was a friend's that I was looking after but said friend is collecting the dog early now so won't be with me on Saturday for a walk.

Now I just need to get my story straight about what kind of dog, how old, did I cope okay, was my friend on holiday. Eurgh.

thatstoast My DH enjoys those computer games where you're in charge of a <insert name of boring man sport> team. I don't see the appeal- there's enough life admin without playing a game which is basically admin. Anyway. Every Xmas I get him one of these stupid games and almost every Xmas I get asked if it's for my son. Yes, my 10 year old son who has been 10 for the last 6 years and is actually a fat, 30 old man blush

TuckingFablet Thu 22-Oct-15 16:51:49

Some one I know thinks I'm called Amy. It's gone on so long now I don't quite know how to tell her that isn't my name.
Also at baby group a woman thinks my name is my dds name and dd has my name. Again, I haven't corrected her and my other friend finds it hilarious. I don't know why people never get my name right, or why I am too embarrassed to correct them. Friend rang last night and dp handed over the phone to say it was xx wanting to talk to amy. I assumed it was you grin

KatharineClifton Thu 22-Oct-15 16:52:15

You do realise that you are going to be asked to dog-sit the REAL dog now Billy? grin

EElisavetaOfBelsornia Thu 22-Oct-15 16:59:56

I was out with DH and baby DD once, when a woman started saying what a lovely little boy. I went along with it, but she carried on about my 'little man' for a while, and then asked his name. It felt far too late to correct her and explain it was a girl, so I panicked and said, "Richard" hmm. DH and the woman both did a double take and repeated "Richard?" grin. I have no idea where the name came from. DH still occasionally calls DD Richard though.

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