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Anyone doing ivf at 40+

(174 Posts)
lucieloos Sat 21-Dec-19 22:52:33

We're considering doing a couple more rounds of ivf at 40.5 years old. We have 2 children already but still feel someone is missing.

Is anyone else starting or already having treatment at 40+ and would like to share the journey?

twinkledag Mon 23-Dec-19 08:00:30

I'm not sure what my plans are next but wanted to wish you all the best @lucieloos as we cycled together previously 💐

lucieloos Mon 23-Dec-19 12:18:25

Thanks @twinkledag finding it hard to decide what to do. There seems to be very little in the way of women 40+ on here doing ivf so I can't really get an idea of how successful it is. I know the stats look poor. My clinic have told me that 1 in 3 / 4 blasts should be pgs normal at 40 but I never made a lot of blasts maybe 1-2 per round.

Wishing you lots of luck too whatever you next step may be xx

fool11 Mon 23-Dec-19 13:59:50

Hi, I had ivf in October , first and only try, short protocol, collected 11eggs, 10fertilised , had 2 5dblasts, rest didn’t survive - day 6, had DET and currently 8w pregnant..I’m 45. I didn’t want to do pgs testing, did lots of reading on pgs and decided not to. We still have a long way ahead of us as so many things can still go wrong etc, but I’m glad I’ve tried, at 45 my chances were 1-2%..I wish I tried the ivf at 41/42 and didn’t waste my time trying naturally..we are lucky to have a 4y old, and I also had MMC 2y ago..if you don’t have any health / fertility issues etc it might be possible..you just don’t how how your body will react..wish you all the best.

Lemongrass1 Mon 23-Dec-19 14:25:20

Hi @lucieloos, we are TTC no 2. Am 40 turning 41 by the time we have our FET. The frosties came from a cycle just before I turned 39. Decided against PGS testing after reading into it. We are starting treatment next year with hopefully a transfer in a few months time. Wish you all the best whichever way you decide to proceed, it’s a hard decision! X

lucieloos Mon 23-Dec-19 15:01:16

@fool11 wow that's amazing! Such a great inspiration. Wishing you lots of luck for a healthy pregnancy.

@lemongrass1 wishing you lots of luck with your fet. I've read all the negatives of pgs as well but it gave me my second baby and it may miss a healthy one or potentially cause some damage but I think the chances are slim and for me personally at 40 I would rather take that risk than find out much further along the line of abnormalities. Also I think for me psychologically I think i would find it easier to bank say 5 embryos and get them tested in the hope of finding the 1 in 3 or 4 that are supposedly genetically normal and then transfer that and know we have around a 70% success rate and low miscarriage rate than be transferring embryos endlessly not knowing if they are healthy or not or why they aren't working but everyone prefers to do it differently it's just whatever suits I think.

If anyone wants to stick around and share the journey that would be fab. Would love to hear how you get on.

ACAL Mon 23-Dec-19 20:46:25

I think it’s great you are doing this @lucieloos! Yes, it is definitely tougher going for us over 40s, but I’m a great believer in having no regrets! Bit about me - I have two little ones - both IVF. First one when I was 39 and second at 41. I have had two further goes this year and sadly both have ended in Mmc at around 7-8 weeks. PGS is not an option for us as we only tend to get around 5 embryos and my clinic has said they like to work with more than that. We’re going have another go in the new year - just waiting for AF post an ERPC which was about two weeks ago. All I can say is good luck - it may not work out but my god it’s worth it if it does!

Janefx40 Mon 23-Dec-19 22:02:42

Hello. We did IVF when I was 41. 2 cycles and got pregnant on second with a single embryo transfer. Our DD is now 11 months old.

We were in London and chose a clinic that had good stats for our age group for our first cycle which we paid for. We then got offered a second on the NHS so went to a different (and pretty awful) clinic who messed everything up and yet we still got pregnant.

Feel so grateful to have had this success but also have quite a few friends of my age who also got pregnant via IVF so it can happen definitely.

Good luck!!!

lucieloos Mon 23-Dec-19 22:07:01

Hi @acal I'm so sorry to hear of your losses but I agree worth your I keep thinking if I leave it too much longer it will probably be too late and then what if I really regret it after that. In my mind I kind of feel like if we do 2 - 3 more rounds and it doesn't work then maybe it's not meant to be and perhaps I can put it behind me then and feel we tried all we could.

I recently had 2 fets with untested embryos from when I was 37. I had a chemical with the first at 5 weeks which was a bit devastating and the second failed to implant at all so that's made it all a bit raw as well. I had my first baby at 37 with untested embryos and then my second at 39 with a tested embryos that we had frozen from a few rounds of embryo banking.

My clinic is pretty good and will let me test whatever I want.

Did it take you many rounds to get your second baby at 41 or was that round a fet?

lucieloos Mon 23-Dec-19 22:08:37

@janefx40 that's brilliant news! I'm loving all the success stories so far. It's really giving me hope and inspiring me to go for it. I just feel like one more would complete us as a family.

ACAL Mon 23-Dec-19 22:20:26

@lucieloos totally get where you are coming from. Our losses were sad, even though you know nothing is guaranteed, you start working out what life will be like - I absolutely allowed myself to get carried away far too early.

So, we were really lucky - our two successful pregnancies were with our first two rounds of ivf. We live in London and went to ARGC which is a total bootcamp but has high success rates. That said, these most two recent rounds have been with them as well, and obviously haven’t worked out. We’ve never had any embryos left over to freeze - have had two embryos at blastocyst all four times but nothing else so we have started over each time.

We’ll definitely give it at least one more shot - and then poss one after that. It’s a tough one though - I’m hoping I will know when the time has come to accept it’s not going to happen again. Am determined not to become obsessed in the process too! (Well, try not to at least!)

lucieloos Mon 23-Dec-19 22:35:36

@acal yes that's exactly it I allowed myself to start imagining what things would be like, working out when it would be born etc etc which I really shouldn't have as it ended up being my 3rd loss but it's very hard not to. We sound very similar as I've also told myself this time that if we do try for a third then I'm going to try not to obsess over things like follicle size and scans and just accept it is what it is and not expect too much. My last fresh round was 3 years ago when I was 37 and I was only making 1-2 blasts a time then so I have no idea what to expect 3 years later.

What sort of protocol were you on at ARGC? I tried all sorts of different ones but found a low dose worked better for me and actually gave me lots more eggs than higher doses.

ACAL Tue 24-Dec-19 07:47:06

Yes! It is exactly that isn’t it! I Had worked out how pregnant I would be at various family events and so on next year - and then felt a bit of an idiot...

So, protocol wise - first one at ARGC was their long protocol but all others have been short. This last one they thought they were going to try natural IVF with me but when my bloods came back they decided to go full pelt and I had maximum dose of drugs pretty much every day for the first week which was full on.

Interestingly I had a better response this time than I did on my third go. Which I have just remembered didn’t make it to any blastocysts - they did two embryos transfer on day 3.

Once Christmas is over am going to start a bit of a vitamin regime and some reflexology. Have always done acupuncture as I just find it relaxing and did reflexology on my second ivf when I was 41, but nothing since. am SURE I am grasping at straws but I suppose I want to make sure I am doing everything I can!

lucieloos Wed 25-Dec-19 22:04:00

@acol hope you had a nice Christmas Day! I have done acupuncture in the past and sometimes and had positive cycles and other times not. I've stopped doing it now as I've lost count but I think I've done about 10 egg collections now and something like 8 transfers and we've spent so much money I really can't afford all the extras anymore. It will really push us to do another couple of rounds now.

Please keep in touch and let me know how you get on. Wishing you lots of luck!

ACAL Thu 26-Dec-19 16:09:53

Very lovely Christmas @lucieloos - thank you! Hope you did too. Wow - 10 egg collections - that is a heck of a lot to go through. This will just be our fifth round. Totally understand about the money front - the whole process just seems to absorb ££. I’ve come across lots of women who have done full on diet regimes - no sugar etc - but I’ve never tried that. Have you? Also the vitamin front - I read “it starts with the egg” but have to admit we didn’t follow all the advice in there as I could see myself getting completely obsessed. We have tried ubiquinol the last couple of times - but like I say our last two attempts didn’t work so I can’t say it was a defining factor for us!

Do you know when you will start again? I think you said that you might be doing a fresh round this time? I reckon we will be feb/March start this time - am in the hanging around waiting for AF post D&C at the mo. Waiting, waiting, waiting - seems like there’s a lot of that in this old IVF malarkey - that said the fast-disappearing tin of Christmas chocs is helping that along nicely right now!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 26-Dec-19 17:10:22

I did ivf when was 42.5

As well as 39 and think 41

It was the eggs from 42 and third chance that worked

Sure as abroad and did icsi which uk didn’t

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 26-Dec-19 17:11:28

Whoops hit send

And I was preg at 43 as used did fet from that cycle

And almost 44 when gave birth

Dd is now almost 3 and I’m 46

ACAL Thu 26-Dec-19 17:59:44

Ooh @blondeshavemorefun - that is wonderful to hear!! Giving lots of hope to us all - thank you so much for sharing!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 26-Dec-19 18:12:54

I was lucky tho. My amh and fsh always showed good results

Doc said I had good eggs for an old bird

So depending what the numbers show iyswim

Have to say if our 5th cycle had failed and the frozen we would have had one last try with donor eggs

But not all feel the same

I have two friends who are my age and went to de and now have babies or toddlers

lucieloos Thu 26-Dec-19 21:42:31

@acal yes it has been a lot to go through. We have treatment abroad as well so there's that to factor in. We had 2 frosties left over after our last (2nd baby) and we agreed to try those and I kind of went into it with a what will be will be attitude as we had the two children already and if either of the fets worked it would be a bonus but if they didn't then it didn't matter but the chemical really threw me and the loss from that made me want to try again and I got drawn back into all the emotions of ivf again which isn't what I wanted.

If we do cycle again it will probably be in February. I hate waiting and like you say there is a lot of it. DH has his birthday the end of jan and flights only run a few times a week until Feb after which it's every day so we will need to wait until then. DH and I agreed we wouldn't discuss trying again until after Christmas. We said we would take some time to think about it and decide how we feel. I kind of decided a little while ago that I would like to do it but I've been too nervous to bring it up yet. The last few days with the kids have been quite demanding. We've had a great Christmas but you know how things are with a 12 month old and a 2.5 yr old. He said that's it no more kids. I don't know how serious he was but I guess I'll find out soon. Although I'm tired too I haven't had a decent nights sleep for 2.5 years and sometimes I question should we go for the third or concentrate on the 2 we have but then other times I feel like I really want to.

I've read 'it starts with the egg' too. I've done ubiquinol and melatonin and I've done fairly high protein diet but not sugar free. I can't say I've noticed much of a difference with any of it really and if we do go again I'll just be taking a prenatal vitamin and we'll see what happens.

@blondeshavemorefun that's great to hear of your success! Definitely gives us hope.

twinkledag Thu 26-Dec-19 23:09:29

@lucieloos

We went to Reprofit when I was 40 and 3 months. 7 eggs collected, all went to day 5, 5 dropped off at day 6, 1 remaining was PGS tested and wasn't suitable for transfer.

Tried again at a London clinic age 40 and 9 months, 6 eggs collected, all slow growing, ended up with 1 early blasto to transfer. BFN and none to freeze.

☹️

ACAL Fri 27-Dec-19 08:20:49

@twinkledag so sorry to hear that - the whole process is one where your hopes get raised and then can get snatched away so quickly. Do you think you will try again?

@lucieloos I know exactly what you mean - this last six months I have been thinking that it’s a whole half year when I’ve been in an endless cycle of appointments, bloodtests, scans etc all the while my gorgeous little ones are growing and growing and I’ve not been 100 percent tuned into that. But your first post also resonated hugely with me - it feels like someone is missing.

Christmas is utterly wonderful and utterly knackering!!! We’re having a few quiet days now - lots of walks and reading and snoozing hopefully. Have you got family close by so you and your husband can have some time together to talk it all through - it’s so hard having those conversations snatched between things or when you are both so tired you just want to sleep. Must be really hard with the overseas element too - but success rates do tend to be better. It’s all such a balancing act isn’t it?! Hope you have a few peaceful days just to relax a bit.

lucieloos Fri 27-Dec-19 09:25:17

@twinkledag I'm sorry I have followed some of your journey. I also cycle at reprofit. They told me that 1 in 3 blasts on average should be normal in early 40s when pgs tested and out of these 1 in 2 should implant or that's what their stats have shown for women in their early 40s. I probably wouldn't count your blasts that tailed off by day 6. Although obviously doesn't mean their stats are accurate for everyone too.

@ACAL yes we do have some family nearby. Hopefully we will get chance to chat over this next week or so and can come to a final decision on what to do!

twinkledag Sat 28-Dec-19 18:20:09

@ACAL I don't know whether to try again or not. Would you? 4 failed cycles trying doesn't bode very well does it? 😞

ACAL Sat 28-Dec-19 19:05:54

Hi @twinkledag - I think everyone is different on this stuff. I think I am about to start my last attempt but I might feel differently if it fails again. I always had a hard stop of 45 in my mind, but that’s just me.

Getting to blastocyst is a v positive sign, so if it was me I would probably be feeling hopeful about another go from that. But it’s so hard isn’t it - somehow it’s got to be about getting to a point where you can be at peace with your decision. Not sure I have been terribly helpful though - sorry.....

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