It's real now - leaving home to go to uni (part 3)

[user9512736123]

Here you go @Lucysky2017

[Stopyourhavering]

Well I'm heading up to Edinburgh this weekend to collect eldest dd who's just finished her MSc....before she heads to China next month to teach for at least a year....middle daughter in placement year in Leeds and ds will be heading to Dundee for freshers in 2 week!!.... it's going to be a busy few weeks....then dh and I are off on mega holiday at end of September to the Indian Ocean to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary!!.....the empty house will be very strange to return to after 24 yrs of noise and family fun!

[moneyquestion]

I put this on the loans thread but not sure people reading that anymore :

I've N/C for obvious reasons and would really appreciate thoughts / advice.

We have found ourselves in a completely unexpected situation. A very kind relative has today out of the blue offered to pay DS tuition fees. It is apparently a 'gift' they have been planning for a long time.

They are fully aware of all the arguments for and against and the financial implications.

I am completely overwhelmed by the gesture (DS doesn't know yet - he is out celebrating with friends.) it is something i could never ever have done for him.

So a/ would you take it?

B/ DS has obviously already applied for the tuition fees loan - if this goes ahead is he able to still cancel the loan and the fees paid direct to the uni or is it too late?

I'm really sorry if this post is difficult for some people. I realise how unbelievably lucky DS is to be in this position. (Can I just add how proud I am of him - he worked so so hard through some difficult situations and got into his first choice :-))

[user9512736123]

I would take it as long as DS was the only child - it'd be unfair (unless it's his godparents in which case it's a different ball game) if he had them paid by grandparents if they couldn't afford to do the same for younger siblings.

We had an offer to pay for one child to go to private school but we turned it down after a lot of deliberation because it could only be paid for one child.

[aginghippy]

Thanks user

In response to your question on the other thread, dd has already sent a screen shot of her results. I assume they are going to accept her, otherwise they would have said no already. They still want official confirmation from the college via UCAS.

To give dd credit, she is handling the stress really well.

[Carriemac]

i'd take it. what a great gesture and a lovely start to her career.

[Lucysky2017]

money, I have paid our older 3 children's fees and will the twins (in fact I emailed Bristol this morning to ask if they do a discount for up front payment) and a lot of my sons' friends' parents are paying too this year (private school although for many of us it is still a struggle to pay).

The reason I think you should take the gift is because the interest rate is over 6% onthe loans. If you think your child will never earn much though then the loan is worth taking as it's never paid back. If you are a family where it is likely they may earn a fair bit - my daughters and I are London lawyer and women in our family work full time even when babies come - so we are obviously a family where it is likely a massive 9% graduate tax loan would hit very hard just when you are paying full time childcare with a huge London mortgage. Also as a family we hate debt so that's another reason I want to make sure all the children graduate debt free.

So yes take the money. if the relative might die within 7 years be aware it is possible 40% inheritance tax may be due by the wicked Big High Tax State, the rotters. Hopefully the relative will live more than 7 years.

[moneyquestion]

Thank you for the replies.
(Yes had thought about the IHT implications. Hopefully (for many reasons - but mainly because they would be greatly missed 😊) that won't be an issue but it is an important consideration.

DS is aware now and is v grateful for the offer. I think we are going to accept and just need to work out the practicalities of cancelling the loan.

Has anyone got a link to the thread that had a useful list of things to take with you to uni ?

[Lucysky2017]

On cancelling it I think the sooner you contact UCAS the better. My twins did not apply for SLC finance on the original UCAS form but I presume if someone did then they just need to notify the student loans company and UCAS to get themselves taken off the system before the SLC starts issuing money to them but do make sure the relative is actually going to come up with the cash and it mgiht be worth having at least an email about it with them eg if your child drops out what happens, if they fail and are thrown off the course. It also may be best if they pay the money direct to the university so they can control that as students are adults and universities don't tell parents things. One chap took the full student loan left university and used it to fund his travel to fight for ISIS. We also had a mumsnetter a few years ago whose university would tell them that their child had left university and when they left nor where they were.

[moneyquestion]

That's all really useful - thanks Lucysky

[RedHelenB]

I'm sure they can cancel because they have never had the money and not even started uni yet! What a lovely surprise!

[HSMMaCM]

What to take/remember for Uni?
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/further_education/2982663-What-to-take-remember-for-Uni

[moneyquestion]

Thank you for link

[RedHelenB]

How are things going? Dd got 4th choice accomadation which is further out than she wanted but has accepted it as she's now in Spain. She reckons there are a fair few a bit disgruntled so they will have something in common when they arrive! Got her moving date and am adding bits to get box of stuff each time I go shopping (her favourite pens yesterday and her fav shampoo that was on offer the day before)

[ErrolTheDragon]

Mine has been on an FB chat with some of the other girls who'll be in her college, apparently they were discussing what to do if they brought a vast excess of pans between them and decided they would construct a piece of feminist artwork to add to the existing collection in the place.

[HSMMaCM]

DD thinks I'm psychic. She's waiting for her accommodation confirmation, but she wants to know :

• will I be in the block I wanted
• will it be all girls or mixed
• will my housemates be nice
• will there be anyone in my house on my course

And many other questions that I can't possibly answer. I think she's made the transition from excited to nervous. Hoping she goes back the other way soon.

[Horsemad]

My DS has got his first choice of accommodation in Newcastle, so he's happy!

[RedHelenB]

My dd is going there and no one she knows has got their first choice Horsemad !

[Horsemad]

Really? Wow, I'm surprised at that.

[Lucysky2017]

My 2 find out mid week if they got their accommodation choices at Bristol. |They seemed quite relaxed about it. In fact one said he deliberately wrote no description of his preferences (quiet, noisy) etc as he did not want to be labelled, wanted most choice and might well change radically. I thought being able to say what you are like so you on a corridor with similar people sounded a really good idea of the universities!

[RedHelenB]

I 've just taken all the hangers not in use our my wardrobe and stuck them in her box.
Think she knows so many people going that she will know someone in every hall of residence!

[FreedaDonkey]

My friends DD loves Newcastle, her accommodation was right opposite St James's park!

We've got a little group on FB which has got a few MNers on if anyone wants to join us.

https://m.facebook.com/groups/488235648182391

This isn't my usual name as it's still anonymous but all welcome

[user9512736123]

@Lucysky2017 - mine did the opposite and was very specific so we'll see what happens! It's hard to know which way is best really.

[Horsemad]

I'm LOL at Lucysky's DS thinking he 'might well change radically' !

[ErrolTheDragon]

I 've just taken all the hangers not in use our my wardrobe and stuck them in her box.

When DD was reading the 'dont forget' list and got to hangers, I suggested she pack everything she wants to hang up on one so she can hang things up quickly when she gets there.

[differenteverytime]

No accommodation allocated yet (dd1, St Andrews). I think it'll all seem a bit more real once we know that. Dd1 and friends departed on a post-results jolly almost as soon as her place was confirmed, so apart from a few travel arrangements (as there's sea in between) the planning and packing are waiting until she gets back.