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DS/DD off to Uni? - Empty nest support thread

(1000 Posts)
rustybear Thu 31-Aug-06 20:09:19

DS is off to Warwick in October - anyone else feeling old? Or are there any old hands with advice ?

MABS Sun 01-Sep-13 11:25:51

think ds is gong to struggle a bit when dd goes, just 2 weeks left !!

eatyourveg Sat 31-Aug-13 21:08:08

ds1 off in 3 weeks leaving ds2 and ds3 both autistic - it will be very hard for all of us but especially them

JGBMum Sat 31-Aug-13 19:20:51

I am dreading October when both boys are gone. Dd & DH still here, but the house will be very quiet.

mumeeee Sat 31-Aug-13 19:14:29

Well it"s harder with DD3 she is 21 but has learning difficulties and no way near as mature or street wise as the other 2 were. Also she is the youngest so our house will be very quiet when she's gone

ISingSoprano Sat 31-Aug-13 18:14:25

Does it get easier mumeee? I'm guessing probably not!

mumeeee Sat 31-Aug-13 17:44:05

I'm one of the. first posters on this thread, DD1 was just going into her 2nd year. I'm now on it. third time round. DD3 starts uni in a fortnight.

Milliways Sat 31-Aug-13 12:14:46

Wasn't a bad thread for a "Newbie" Rusty, Thanks! smile

I am not the only one here using this thread for the 2nd time around.

JGBMum Sat 31-Aug-13 11:12:08

Need to bump this one to the magic 1000 first grin

RustyBear Sat 31-Aug-13 10:18:33

So, today is this thread's 7th birthday. And just in time - only 8 posts left. Someone will have to start a new one soon....

Milliways Fri 30-Aug-13 23:02:22

I agree that real letters are really appreciated when they are away. I used to send DD random cards and packages, along with the odd Graze box. (Old graze boxes are an ideal size to fill with treats and post.) DD worked most summers and got married the year she graduated so I am very aware that saying goodbye to DS will be hard when he leaves in a fortnight. Busy making lists and trying to get stuff sorted here but work us a nightmare and hard to get away from at the moment.

DalmationDots Fri 30-Aug-13 20:13:42

Think this has some good messages for your DC about the common mistakes they make... spending too much, trying to fit in by being someone they aren't, thinking you should instantly make best friends, forgetting the importance of your course etc.

mumeeee Fri 30-Aug-13 18:12:39

They don't always come back lots. DD1 did as she was in uni in our town.DD2 came back lots in her first year but then got a job so only came back occasionally after that, They have both now left home. DD1 is married and lives in London and DD2 decided to stay in Kingston. I expect DD3 will come back every holiday, We will be keeping in touch with her by phone and emails as we do with the other 2. In fact we are heading down London way at the moment to have a. family get together before DD3 heads off to Bolton in a couple of weeks.

DalmationDots Fri 30-Aug-13 17:52:09

Remember they come back, some lots! And you will hear from them a lot, visit them, still be involved in their lives.

DD is just starting 3rd year and it has flown by! She has been home all summer, after asking lots of advice on careers last year she did an internship this summer and now is excited for her final year before she starts her (recently obtained :D) graduate job in London next year. All so exciting.
Wow she has grown up from the quiet girl I sent off worrying and tearful phone calls in the first few weeks, to the confident, motivated girl so passionate about what she is studying and with lots of great friends and memories from uni. Proud mummy.

(Btw still feel just as sad/worried as I send her off each term and the thought of her properly moving out next year is horrible...but you soon adapt and get used to it all. In some ways it has all given me a new lease of life and a bit more ambition to do more in my own life)

fussychica Thu 29-Aug-13 18:30:00

How lovely. DH & I used to write daily when I was a student (pre marriage)- used to rush to the pigeon hole every morning. I wish my parents had written but they weren't the writing kind. Likewise re them being proud - shame they never got to see him leave our nest.

whitecloud Thu 29-Aug-13 16:44:06

Thanks fussychica. My dd wants me to send her parcels and letters. Will be doing so. Us aged ones know there is nothing like receiving a heandwritten letter and the pleasure of knowing from the writing who it is from. Reminds me of my Mum, who is no longer here and used to write to me at university and long afterwards. She would be very proud and excited about dd's move to university.

fussychica Thu 29-Aug-13 14:26:11

Yes whitecloud I have just the one. Am 2 years in now with at least 2 to go - this year will likely be the hardest as he's abroad.
Miss him loads but Skype is wonderful. You'll both be fine.
I'm very old - remember lettersgrin.

whitecloud Thu 29-Aug-13 11:17:43

My dd is going at the end of September. Are there any other Mums with only one dc? We are very close and I know I am going to miss her dreadfully. Am trying not to get upset now - want to be supportive. Ladies, there are some lovely things on the quotes thread, but have stopped looking for the mo. It's making me tearful.

To think this time last year they were all writing personal statements, deciding on where to apply and hadn't even started their interviews. Am feeling very proud - well done to all the dcs who have worked hard for this. Think most Mums might be feeling a bit tired with emotion, getting ready and relief that the results turned out well. Look after yourselves amidst it all. I am looking forward to more freedom, it's true -but as with everything in life, mixed emotions. At least the dcs can communicate easily with mobiles and computers - no shouting down a draughty, public payphone. Now I know I am really old!!!

heirraising Wed 28-Aug-13 23:12:53

Out of tonic so using kids' mango juice smile

fussychica Wed 28-Aug-13 18:36:39

Had a G&T the other week for the first time in ages - it's usually wine instead. Realised how lovely it was and how much I missed it. Tip Aldi award winning gin rather naicegrin typed gin instead of grin - oops
Obviously withdrawal symptoms - time for a gin!

MABS Wed 28-Aug-13 18:11:37

oh yes smile

ISingSoprano Wed 28-Aug-13 17:26:02

Oh crikey yes - a Gin emoticon is very, very necessary for the month of September grin

MissMarplesBloomers Wed 28-Aug-13 14:06:14

ISS hayfever has been bad recently hasn't it? wink

Predicted to be bad on & off throughout Sept I believe. Particularly at w/ends.

<Leaves industrial quantites of tissues>

<also similar amounts of wine cake brew and gin. >


ISingSoprano Wed 28-Aug-13 13:59:08

I think I must have hayfever..... eyes keep watering!

JGBMum Wed 28-Aug-13 13:57:54

I wish mumsnet had a 'like' button. So many lovely posts.

MissMarplesBloomers Wed 28-Aug-13 12:29:25

ISS Not selfish at all- all sorts of emotions will be surfacing now.

I don't think it's unreasonable to say we're all very proud of our chicks (and boast away fussychica I think it's allowed ) and how hard they've worked to get to this point.

But at the same time we can't help feeling a bit sad that it's the end of an era, and we're waving them off after years of supporting/caring for/nagging them.

I think we should all allow ourselves to be proud of how well they've turned out despite because of our fabulous parenting!!

greyvix that must be the hardest in some ways, your last one flying the nest, but think of the freedom!

<<hugs>> for those that do them.

I seem to have something in my eye. Again

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