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I think I was naive.

(302 Posts)
Gatorgator Thu 14-May-20 09:04:28

In my head - when this started - twelve weeks was worst case scenario. I knew the virus wouldn’t go away obviously, but I thought after twelve weeks the nhs would be better prepared, we’d know more about the virus and there would be a degree of acceptance that we just have to live alongside it and know there’s an elevated risk. I’m in an at risk category so I’m not just dismissing this risk.
However instead it seems that we are going to live like this indefinitely. I didn’t think theatres, sporting events etc would be open for a long time, nor did I think the travel industry would pick back up, but I did think I’d be able to visit my elderly parents who live two miles down the road.

Now it seems like this is the new normal. All meetings are going to be virtual. We are having (unsuccessful) virtual play dates with other children. The few friends I’m still communicating with I’m mainly messaging but really - if I’m never seeing them again then what’s the point?

There are a couple of big Christmas things nearby that are annual events and they are cancelled. More and more I’m coming to realise that this is it. This is in fact the new normal everyone keeps talking about. Only seeing the people you live with and being terrified to even leave the house to collect something essential like a prescription.

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Terriblehairdontcare Thu 14-May-20 09:08:55

Op everyday I wake up it's like a bad dream that I'm not waking up from. I think a lot of us are feeling the same.

Drivingdownthe101 Thu 14-May-20 09:10:15

I think there a lot of people who do have the acceptance that we have to live alongside it and that there is an elevated risk, and are happy to get back ‘out there’, I’m certainly one of them. Unfortunately there is what seems to be a significant number who are happy to stay at home for the long term, and they seem to be more prevalent on Mumsnet than anywhere else.
The WHO have said today that there’s a chance the virus will never go away... to be honest I thought that was already accepted. We do need to learn to live alongside it, to take precautions to protect those most at risk but to get back to a semblance of normality.

RickOShay Thu 14-May-20 09:10:30

It’s hard, but it won’t last forever. We will get through this.

Bigfishylittlefishy Thu 14-May-20 09:13:09

It’s so depressing - I feel desperately sad for my children. My year five boy is doing well and seems fine at home. Yesterday he was in the car with me, and he spotted his friend & friends mum walking down the road. He nearly cried with happy tears, just at physically seeing them through the window.


GiveMeAllTheGin8 Thu 14-May-20 09:13:30

It’s shit, it really is. I get through by burying my head under the sand and just taking it day by day. I try not to think about it long term and the effects it’s having on my children’s mental health .
There is nothing any of us can do at the moment , except follow guidelines and hope that one day we will look back at these times and appreciate everything we’ve got gin

KaronAVyrus Thu 14-May-20 09:14:53

I’m starting to get depressed about it all.
Can’t see friends and family and I’m bored to tears.

Tartan333 Thu 14-May-20 09:16:20

It's so depressing. I hate the phrase "the new normal". I want this whole situation to be relatively temporary. It feels like this is it now, things will open but social distancing means nothing is really enjoyable. I feel that my dcs childhoods are ruined. It's all so awful for everyone.

MoltoAgitato Thu 14-May-20 09:16:37

No, it’s not the end of everything. Polio used to be a thing and life didn’t grind to a halt. Yes, it will be a bit weird for a while but there will be a new normal where we will see people again.

I also think that if we hadn’t had a technological solution to working from home, then we wouldn’t have locked down, because then everything really would have ended. COVID is just something else we will adjust to.

Terriblehairdontcare Thu 14-May-20 09:19:48

Drivingdownthe1 I agree, I'm happy to get back out there, with some adjustments to be safer.

What does depress me is looking at my children and feeling that they've had the joy in their lives snatched away.

Some people seem to be content to hide away forever and doom and gloom how we can't do anything because it's too dangerous.

Gatorgator Thu 14-May-20 09:20:45

Exactly - social distancing is not normal.
How can children make friends? Or adults, for that matter. Or start a new relationship? It’s not normal and rebranding it as the ‘new’ normal doesn’t really make me feel any better.

I think it’s never going away and the two - admittedly crappy - options are either socially distance indefinitely or accept the elevated risk, mitigate to some degree (masks possibly, hand washing, no large gatherings) and get on with it.
A lot of people I know are really enjoying lockdown and don’t want it to end. They are on full or 80% pay and it’s like an extended holiday. Others are too terrified to contemplate going ‘back out’ and having listened to the news for weeks part of me feels the same. Even though I know logically that despite being in an at risk group, I still have more than a 90% chance of being fine.

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Cornettoninja Thu 14-May-20 09:21:13

This is the new current normal but things will keep changing. In the event there’s no vaccine or it’s taking longer than people thought we will eventually reach a point where it dwindles to isolated outbreaks and becomes an illness that it’s much more like something like TB or polio before vaccines. Ideally it will stay stable enough for natural immunity to last long enough for it to become less of a threat and the more we understand about how to treat it will help ally fears too.

We’ve lived in a bit of a golden age and location for vaccines and antibiotics, we’re just not used to living alongside such a prevalent threat but this was the way people lived within living memory and there was still life going on.

That being said I bloody hate this, was calling for lockdown at the beginning and advocate mitigation methods like masks now. I’m not fearless and I am scared but history tells us that this too will pass. It’s a threat but it’s not a unique situation.

If you can handle it right now it’s worth having a look into how life was during the Spanish flu and during the time of TB sanatoriums. There are so many parallels with how that it provides some hope that there is a blue print of society pushing through it.

Afternooninthepark Thu 14-May-20 09:21:54

I had the same thinking as you op, I knew this wouldn’t go away anytime soon and had been preparing for it for a long time but I thought we may be getting somewhere with treatment etc.
The contradiction on advice is overwhelming too.
I was particularly downhearted when Boris said the other day that in the worst case scenario we may never get a vaccine against this.
And watching Good Morning Britain this morning my heart wept when they were showing primary school children back at school in Scandinavia, all the teachers were wearing masks, they weren’t touching the children, they were teaching the kids to self hug and the poor little kiddies were being made to sit down at break time on special markings on the floor socially distanced away from their school pals. If this goes on too long what will be the emotional fall out of this? It’s making me feel very anxious and depressed tbh.

Cornettoninja Thu 14-May-20 09:22:46

How=now - fat fingers

Gatorgator Thu 14-May-20 09:23:38

I personally, and clearly I dont really know, but my gut instinct is we won’t find a vaccine for this very easily. I think years, rather than months.

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Sandybval Thu 14-May-20 09:24:36

The government need to actually provide solutions and support for getting things going again, it's not sustainable like this, but it's also not realistic when there's no pressure on TfL, for example, to increase their services now demand is rising, and schools haven't been given support in implementing the guidance (which is weak anyway). I'm really keen to get back going, if people who are lower risk do so, it is more sustainable to have mechanisms in place to protect and support those who are vulnerable. If we just all stay in for years we can't support anyone and everything will be down the swanny.

Chillipeanuts Thu 14-May-20 09:29:09

A lot of people probably had the same idea because I’m fairly sure that at the very beginning 12 weeks was mentioned in one of the briefings, by BJ I think?

ElizabethMainwaring Thu 14-May-20 09:30:42

I really don't want this to turn into a another school thread, with its potential for teacher bashing, but that sounds awful about the school in Scandinavia.
If we insist on physical distancing like that there is no point in kids going to school other than for childcare (which I know is needed).
It sounds very traumatic for everyone.
It's such a sad situation.

nether Thu 14-May-20 09:31:33

We need to know considerably more about the immunity the disease confers (how good is it, and how long does it last)

I feel most for the shielding group - which is not defined by age and many of whose members were good day tomday health with normal lives. They are facing a need to remain in their own homes and, if following the guidance fully, isolating even from their cohabitants.

As many cohabitants have been furloughed, off school, WFM (which may or may not endure), then it's been possible to keep your cohabitants behind your shield. That might not be the case when people start to go out and about rather more. Which means the shielded become very, very cut off.

And the number of shielded now exceeds the population of NI, so I really hope a group that large does not end up 'out of sight, out of mind'

Mrsmummy90 Thu 14-May-20 09:32:38

I have constant anxiety over it all. I just want it to be done with and life to go back to how it was but part of me worries that that'll never be the case. I'm scared for my family and myself.

Gatorgator Thu 14-May-20 09:36:40

Yes I think in my mind it was going to be four blocks of three.
It’s not though.

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m00rfarm Thu 14-May-20 09:47:07

I have said this before on multiple threads. We are in the Algarve and this week we have had around 3 new cases in a population of around 450,000. In my council, we have had no new cases for over a week in a population around 30,000. So it IS possible to be virus free but I believe it needs to be done in pockets. We are still wearing masks and have gel in shops etc. But hairdressers etc are now open, shops are opening and restaurants open next week. If we start to get more cases, then everything will be closed again for a while.

At high risk times such as easter and may holidays, no one in Portugal was allowed to leave their council areas to ensure the virus did not spread from the north where it was much more prevalent.

I am terribly worried about my family who are all in the UK, and i have no idea when I am likely to see them again. But eventually there will be some sort of response to the virus, whether it is a vaccine, or it simply runs out of people to infect, or ways to replicate itself. I am no scientist, as you can tell. But this is not the first time the world has seen something like this, and it will not be the last.

Gatorgator Thu 14-May-20 09:48:40

But because of technology and social media etc this is be first time the world has reacted in this way? I think.

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CallmeAngelina Thu 14-May-20 09:51:40

This is what I have been worried about right back from January, when everyone on here and in RL was thinking I was being pessimistic and a scare-monger. I'm normally an optimist and look for the positives in situations, so I've decided to just live this day-by-day and deal with things as they come.
I've never been particularly worried about actually catching Covid, but it's always been more about the effect on daily life and on the economy.

Celeriacacaca Thu 14-May-20 09:53:36

I think this is natural to feel like this at this stage, especially when the future is so unclear.

I've been trying to keep upbeat but yesterday really felt so down about everything.

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