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Fantastic 40+ Thread - Part Eight.

(1000 Posts)
goldengirl71 Thu 11-Oct-12 21:51:58

"Come on ovaries! Let's get this party started, yeah?"

hopefulgum Tue 01-Jan-13 23:16:59

Jbrd, so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could offer some good advice, but when I miscarried early (5-6 weeks) it was just like a period and I didn't notice anything pass. My other miscarriages were missed and I had an ERPC for each.

I hope you can get some answers soon, as I know how horrible the wait is and not knowing. hugs bear

Hippy - it is nice to hear from you.Thanks for your kind words. Ihope we've seen the back of missbone/cuckoo/vivian/golden, but I am willing to bet we haven't...

Fireflies, I am so glad your son is well again, how frightening for you when he was ill. I am very excited you'll be joining us ttc againgrin Are you going to try Au Nateral or will you have some treatment?

Jrd and Calibee - I do hope you both have answers soon.

DoctorWhoFan Tue 01-Jan-13 22:58:50

JBrd, I have no experience of what you're going through, but it sounds incredibly worrying. I can only say that I'm thinking of you and that I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you x

Irishmammybread Tue 01-Jan-13 22:42:52

Oh JBrd ,it's such a worrying time for you but you do hear of ladies who bleed even with clots and still have a good outcome.
Right, sorry if this is tmi !
I've had three miscarriages without intervention, the one at 6 weeks was more painful than a normal period,heavier bleeding with clots and maybe strands of stringy tissue but nothing identifiable really.
With both the others I had bled a lot over a few days before the gestational sac was actually passed. Leading up to passing the sac the pains intensified and felt more like mild labour pains,so it was obvious something was happening. The tissue I passed was larger than you describe and solid, it looked a pinky/brown colour ,like placenta, with an area on the side which was the empty sac where the baby had been(I didn't see the baby which must have come out separately both times but there had been big gushes of blood leading up to this).
Sometimes clots of blood can look quite fleshy so maybe that's what you saw, but I think you do need the EPU to scan you, hopefully for peace of mind!
With DD2 I bled red blood at 9 weeks and 15.5 weeks and she was fine.
You could phone NHS Direct tonight for advice but I must admit I didn't get much joy from doing that, I was advised if I was in a lot of pain or bleeding heavily to go to A&E but otherwise to phone the EPU when it was open!
I hope things work out for you. xxx

hippychick66 Tue 01-Jan-13 22:28:10

Jbird - with my second loss i was told at the scan at 6 weeks that they could only see a very small sac - i went on to MC naturally a week later. i have to say that i do remember passing a blob of blood covered tissue (TMI - i even fished it out of the loo to look at it because i had to know if it was the sac). i can't tell you if this was what you passed or not though so it's not much help I'm afraid. i have heard of people bleeding quite heavily and still being pregnant. It's so awful - the not knowing is so scary. fingers crossed that you can get a scan tomorrow and know what's happening. Although i lost my 2 pregnancies over 2 years ago i still remember lying in bed in the darkness feeling incredibly sad and scared and my thoughts really are with you right now. XXX

Diege Tue 01-Jan-13 22:17:49

Oh Jbrd I'm so sorry you're going through this sad. I'm not sure my experience will be of much help. I've had 3 mcs over the years, and with one it did follow a scan where they only saw a sac (very irregular in shape). I did pass pieces of tissue in the time after the scan, but with my follow-up scan a week later the sack was still there and had just moved further down. There's nothing I can really say that will help much I know, but I am thinking of you and I really hope you can get some answers tomorrow. Please try and rest, take things one step at a time, and remember we are always here for you whatever the news tomorrow xxx

Hippy lovely to hear from you as always!

JBrd Tue 01-Jan-13 21:47:25

Ladies, can I ask a question about miscarriage, please? I don't want to stir up painful memories, so please ignore if you don't feel up to answering.

Those of you who've had a miscarriage that went without medical intervention, what does the gestational sac look like when you pass it?

Today I passed what looked like a big, long-ish piece of fleshy tissue, bigger than a 50p piece. I'm now petrified that this was my gestational sac... I'm bleeding again now, not much, but it's red blood... The EPU appears to be closed (no one picking up the phone), and can't reach my midwife either. I feel so crushed and exhausted, just want to know what is happening to me.

Will call the EPU first thing tomorrow morning and see what they suggest. To top it all, I have my booking appointment tomorrow afternoon... sad

hippychick66 Tue 01-Jan-13 21:29:23

Just popping in to say Happy New Year to all you lovely ladies. Calibee i have everything crossed for you - let's hope you just peaked at your little one a wee bit too early and that the next look will show a healthy heartbeat like JBird's wonderful xmas miracle story.

gum i didn't get a chance to read what the delightful Miss Westwould wrote on the other thread because it was deleted by mumsnet but i assume it was something rude about you and the fact that you are TTC. I'm sorry you're having to put up with all this from someone whom, to my knowledge, you haven't asked for an opinion from.

All i can say about missbone/cuckoo/goldengirl is 1) anyone who has to change their name every 5 minutes on MN is obviously doing it cos they are pissing people off left right and centre and 2) is there any way we can change the code on the snug door so the stupid woman can't keep getting in? oh yeah and 3) This is a support thread - please go and have some more rampant bloody sex with your DP and give us all a break. grin

10000Fireflies Tue 01-Jan-13 15:05:56

Avo all! We had a quiet NYE - fast asleep well before midnight and no amount of fireworks would have woken any of us. Rock'n'roll babies!!

Today we've been for a lovely walk in the park, with bacon butties and coffee at the half-way mark. Now have to try and knuckle down and try and sort out some of the unbelievable mess that is our home and crack on with TTC #2. Ideally would like to be preggers again before 44th (ouch, how did I get so old??!!) birthday in August.

Gum thanks for asking. Baby FF utterly gorgeous. We feel truly blessed to have such a lovely son. Had a bit of a difficult time mid-Nov to Dec with him being quite poorly (2x trips to A&E, one in ambulance, with paramedic being called), and we had a lot on, but he seems to be much better now and things have calmed down generally for us. I need to get him settle now and into a good routine of eating and sleeping otherwise we might go mad!!

New Year's resolutions sound remarkably similar to others already shared:
*lose weight (start The Shred)
*stop haemorrhaging money
*be more organised
*conceived DC2.

Much love to you all and special hugs and hand-holding to those having an especially tough start to the year. May 2013 be good to us all. FF xx

hopefulgum Tue 01-Jan-13 11:39:42

Ohh, Littlepink, that's just not nice of Aunt FLo. That bitch is always turning up where she isn't wanted. Here's to us all getting our bfp's in 2013. We've all waited long enough!angry It is about time we got what we wanted! So take that (picture Gum giving Aunt Flo the bird).

Wow, we had a hot day today. Bloody hell, it was flaming hot ( 41 degrees clecius - that's 105.8 fahrenheit) . We had to go to the beach three times. It is now dark and still steamy. Hopefully we'll get a reprieve from this heat tomorrow. My youngest DS is so overtired after staying up late last night, beside himself actually, but won't go to bed. Sigh...Oh wait...I've just noticed he has fallen asleep on the couch while DD1 has read him a story. Hurray!

Isabeller are you still doing the C25K? Today I did week 2 day 3. I'm finding it isn't too hard, but my knees are really complaining (I'm not surprised seeings they have to carry my weight). I feel I won't be able to keep this up if I don't solve the sore knees. Any ideas?

NY resolutions:
-also want to lose some more weight, especially after the Christmas and New year's crappy eating.
- was hoping to be able to run 5 km, but do wonder if it will happen
-to get my sewing projects finished, they've hung around too long
- to exercise regularly,whether I can run or not
- to get pregnant with a take home baby and leave all the ttc madness behind once and for all.

Not too much to ask is it???grin

littlepinkfizz Tue 01-Jan-13 11:17:42

Appy new year ladies!

Bad Start for me with a visit from flamin AF....bitch...

But here's to 2013 for all of us x

DoctorWhoFan Tue 01-Jan-13 10:29:01

Fingers crossed for you Calibee. I'm with Gum in that the CB test is a good sign. Chin up love xx

Thanks for asking Diege, I'm at the "it's never going to happen" stage. To make things worse, I'm cramping, feel mildly nauseous, have some cracking zits on my chin (WTF?) and I'm ridiculously irritable. So I think on move day I shan't br doing much lifting just in case my mind isn't playing tricks on me.

Talking of which I need to go eat something cos I'm starting to feel sick again! Gah!

Lots of love to all. And those lovely ladies who are struggling for whatever reason today are in my thoughts xx

Diege Tue 01-Jan-13 09:25:01

Hello to everyone and Happy New Year smile.
Calibee my love you must be going through hell sad. I'm so sorry you've got to wait to see how things turn out, although as others have said it does seem that there are positives from the scan and there are so many good outcomes I've read on MN of people having exactly the same experience, and all being well on the next scan. Is dp back at work now? Have you got any support in RL?

Jbrd how are things with you today? Has the spotting stopped now?
Had a quiet night last night and watched a film on BBC2 (Julie and Julia?) Pretty good, though was in bed for 11 and only woke briefly with the fireworks.

My New Years resolutions are (as with Gum) to spend less. There's a great thread on MN on cutting costs in the credit crunch section, so am going to buy a flask and start taking my (decaff) coffee to work. Stop buying so many magazines.Also a stone to lose (I have put on 10 Ibs over Christmas!!!).

Drwhofan How is the moving prep' going? All packed or at that 'it';s never going to happen' stage? grin. Any more cramps?

Hope all is well - lots of hugs and hand holding needed sadly at the moment, but that's what this thread is so good at doing. Love to all xxx

notsoold Tue 01-Jan-13 01:37:44

Calibee...I offer my hand to hold

hopefulgum Mon 31-Dec-12 22:26:23

calibee, you are in my thought's, sending a great big hug bear I know it isn't the thing to do on MN, but I am sending it anyway. I think the clearblue test is a good sign.

Fireflies - it is nice to hear from you. I hope all is well with babyfireflies ?
I often think about your "graduates". I know you are all very busy with your little ones, but I do wonder how things are going. We haven't heard from Lolfactor in ages - if you are out there- pop in. The same goes for Angelgeorgie and Miaalexandersmummy.

I am up early despite a late night and feel rather ordinary. I wish I could sleep in but my body just won't do it biscuit It's going to be a pretty slow day today.The forecast is for 38 degrees so I am thinking I'll skip the running today, and do it tomorrow.

Has anyone made any new year's resolutions? I honestly haven't been able to come up with one. I thought I might say " this time next year I will no longer be ttc actively", but I just can't say that, as I thought I was going to give up on my 45th birthday, and we can all see that didn't happen! Besides, women can and do get pregnant at 47 grin One resolution I should make is to spend less money on things I don't need...hmm but we all know that will last about 5 minutes!

I hope it is good news all round for Calibee and Jbrd and anyone else waiting for news.

littlepinkfizz Mon 31-Dec-12 21:38:37

Aw calibee really thinking bout you. It could be good news just like jbrd, but the wait will be tough on you. I agree with irish re clearblue. A good sign surely x

10000Fireflies Mon 31-Dec-12 21:37:03

Just popping in to say hi. I haven't done a very good job at keeping up with you all, have I?? Not even been lurking.

Calibee that's tough news to hear today. I hope everything works out for you. Keep strong in the meantime.

Wishing you all a very fruitful and happy New Year. Much love to you all. FF xx

Irishmammybread Mon 31-Dec-12 21:04:45

Calibee I feel for you, I just want you to know you're in my thoughts and I'll pray everything turns out ok for you and that HCG level will rise. Surely it's a good sign that your clearblue test was 3 wks + and there were signs of activity around the sac, but the waiting must be so difficult. xxx

CaliBee Mon 31-Dec-12 20:55:47

Thanks for your thoughts you think you could keep them going for a bit? The news wasnt quite what I was hoping for at scan today.....the sonographer could see just an empty sac sad. They tried to keep me positive by saying the sac was a nice round shape and had a bright ring around it (apparently shows some sort of activity) and that maybe I had just got my dates wrong a little....however as I was being follicle tracked and DP was only home for 2 nights I doubt it could be by too much. Ive had no more spotting but am struggling with negativity tonight and feeling every little twinge. So they have taken bloods to check HCG levels and I have to go back on 2nd to have them done again.....worse than the 2ww I think. I even did another clearblue digital test which came up as 3+ pregnant......raaaa.
Happy New Year to everybody xxx

DoctorWhoFan Mon 31-Dec-12 16:32:05

Hey Gum... what Diege said above.

And Diege - don't you go anywhere...I'm hoping for some of your paella!

Happy 2013 everyone (although Gum has pipped us to the post grin)

See you in the new year, I'm off to get ready to go and visit friends for a quiet evening of nibbles and drinks. Although I don't think I'll be drinking as I'm 6dpo and getting crampy feeling in my belly and felt dizzy earlier in the supermarket. So even if I'm not up-duffed, I'm still not going to drink. Mind you, I'm such a lightweight and drink so rarely that even if I DID, I'd probably fall asleep after 1 glass of wine grin - I have form on this!

hopefulgum Mon 31-Dec-12 16:22:21

Happy New Year everyone. I have just watched the midnight fireworks, so it is 2013 here in Australia (fireworks were lovely).

It is way past my bedtime, so I'm heading off with my the newest Rebus book. I know I'll only last a few minutes before I drift off. DS (4 years old) stayed up til 11.30. I do hope he sleeps in tomorrow shock

I haven't thought about new year's resolutions yet, will give it some thought tomorrow.

May 2013 bring us all what we want - whether it is a BFP, new baby, Happy relationships, adoption, new job, new home...may we all have a happy and successful year.

Much love, Gum thanks

remnant Mon 31-Dec-12 15:27:32

happy new year everyone brew
great news jbrd <fingers crossed emoticon>
sparkly, congratulations first of all, and commiserations on your waivering dh, i don't know your full circumstances but I hope the two of you work it out. Although I have to say it sounds like he may have some things he needs to work out on his own. Seems like that could be said for a lot of people around here wink

Morien Mon 31-Dec-12 15:18:53

Hello everyone! Sorry, I've been reading your posts regularly over the last few days but haven't had a chance to say anything.

First to Jbrd, I was so happy to read about your Christmas present. Something similar happened to my SIL (before I knew her) - she was told there was an empty sac, then when she went back for a scan weeks later to check everything was ok, they found a heartbeat. Her DS is now 4.5 and is round here playing with my DSCs right now. I can appreciate your frustation re the dates; hope you get it sorted soon and without too much stress. Have you managed to get a sick note yet?

sparkly, my heart goes out to you. Your posts over the last few days have made me cry each time. When I got my BFP in June DP's response wasn't exactly what I'd have hoped for, despite his having agreed that we stop using contraception. Apparently he had agreed to the idea of having a(nother, for him) baby, but not to the reality as he didn't expect it to happen confused. He did come round a bit but never seemed really happy about it (although like gum's DH, I think it was, he assured me that his paternal love would kick in once the baby was born). I spent a lot of the 6 weeks that I knew I was pg (MC at 11 weeks) feeling angry and sad that I couldn't feel unabatedly happy about a pregnancy I very much wanted and which we'd agreed to try for (because I think that's what stopping contraception means? - & I'd been clear about what i wanted & he accepted). Since my MC we've talked a lot about all of this so I like to think things will be different next time. I think it all just happened too fast for him. As greenlizard said a while ago, men are supposed to be so much more straightforward than we are, but sometimes they take the biscuit. So, sparkly, I'm thinking if you and really, really hope things get easier for you very soon.

gum, I hope you won't be put off posting exactly what you think and feel. I regularly visit and post on the step-parenting threads too and that kind of thing happens depressingly often - we're there for help and support in our quest to make our step-families work, and someone comes along and blasts us for being in our DSCs' lives at all.

Have a lovely New Year's Eve, everyone! We're just having a quiet one at home as my DCSs are here. I'm making us a nice meal though.

Diege Mon 31-Dec-12 10:09:54

Morning smile Calibee we will get the snug helicopter booked for this afternoon for you - I'm sure you are anxious and hopefully the scan will give you peace of mind; we'll all be thinking of you x
Jbrd I agree that it's very odd that the scan went from nothing to 6wk bean in a week - what explanation have they given for that? I do know (from my own experience, plus working in screening as part of my research) that very early scans can be very 'out', and also that fetuses grow at different rates (despite some sources saying they don't until post-12 weeks). Your bean may well measure 12 weeks at your 12 week date, so I see where you're coming from re: nuchal . I would hold on to the discrepancy in their scanning and think it's more to do with that than your dates.

Gum I can't believe it's a hot day for you - it just doesn't seem possible grin <looks out of window at rain and trees bowing in the wind> Hope you are ok? Please don't stop posting what you think and feel - you know what they say about bullies wink Is it still 2012 for you? (I'll admit I get very confused with the time differences blush).

Italian All very exciting, though stressful too I'm sure. I echo what Isabeller says, any little one will be incredibly lucky to have you as their mum, and I know the social workers will get that too. THis time next year you may well have another addition to the family smile

Tina, great that the spotting has stopped. MIne did quite suddenly and it never came back again. I can't imagine what 2 lots of movement will feel like - My friend who had twins said it felt as if they were fighting in there at times, which I suppose was reassuring grin

Hi Irish! I have decided to step away from the chocolate and start Slimming World today (have done it for so many years I don't need to formally attend, and it does work for me too) I am feeling quite sick with sweet stuff, and I daren't step on the scales. I think I might tentatively go for a 10 min run tonight to see where my fitness is up to!

Hope everyone is well - this is such a lovely, supportive group that I can't keep away, even though I'm not ttc-ing! (hope that's still ok!) xxx

CaliBee Mon 31-Dec-12 09:25:54

Good Morning to all...and I mean all. It seems I've missed the drama. I agree with the above comments, best ignored. Karma is a beautiful girl wink....

So I had the slightest of spotting on Friday and again last night....more just bloodstained cm really. Nevertheless I spoke to Dr and he booked me with the EPAU for a scan this afternoon.....fingers crossed.

I hope everybody has a great night tonight (weather its a quite one in or spent with friends and family)...its just me and DP here. DS still with his Dad from xmas day (although we did all get together on Saturday to see the Hobbit in 3d) and DS has already booked me to help her choose an outfit for later so I'm assuming she will be hanging for a few days lol.

Happy New Year Everybody xxx

TinaO99 Mon 31-Dec-12 09:12:24

Italian so lovely to hear from you! Glad to hear all is going well with the adoption, please keep in touch and let us know how you're getting on!

gum and everyone else kind enough to ask all is well and my spotting stopped so I've put it down to the bad cough I had, I've tried not to do too much last week and feel so much better now (apart from pesky constipation sorry tmi)

Jbrd so happy that your baby is hanging on in there, fingers crossed for you that all will be well, take it easy and hope the spotting stops soon. Pregnancy sems to be one worry after the other, I'm just waiting for the time I start feeling the babies move because I know then i'll be fretting thery're not moving enough!!

Sparkly so sorry to hear your dh is feeling down about the baby, I'm sure he'll come around but it's not at all nice for you having to deal with it, it should be such a happy time

hope everyone has a peaceful New year, I'm not sure I'll be able to stay up to see in the New year as my new name seems to be rip van winkle but if I do I'll raise a glass (of fruit juice) to you all!

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