-to 'persuade' my daughter that tampons are not evil? LONG sorry.

[oopslateagain]

There's a backstory here! A bit graphic too, sorry. DD(12yo) has had periods for about 8 months. She came home from school earlier this week dying to get in the pool as she was so hot, I had to remind her she was still on her period.

Anyway she came downstairs a few minutes later in her swimsuit lookign all pleased with herself, I'd bought her a box of Tampax in case she ever wanted to try them, and all by herself she'd gone and put one in.

Three hours later and she came in for a shower, then yelled for me. She'd got the tampon out about half an inch and said it hurt to pull it, said it was a 'stinging' pain. Then she said she'd used a Super tampon (I got her a multipack). She was on day 5 of her period, so very very light.

I figured it was probably not ready to come out i.e. still a bit dry, but it was hurting as she'd already got it out a little bit.

Cue a very entertaining hour in the bathroom - I ran a bath, got her to lay in it and 'open' herself up, hoping it would soak the tampon. She was a little bit tearful because it was hurting but we still had a right giggle, the way she was laying there was like giving birth (she just did that subject at school) and we were making cracks about seeing its head, and whether it was a boy or girl). Anyway, eventually she managed to get it out, there was barely any blood on it at all.

She said it's put her off; but I would hate her to get it into her head that Tampons Hurt. I'm inclined to really try and persuade her to use one (a SMALL one) right at the beginning of her next period when it's really heavy, so she can see how easy it is to get out the 'right' way.

My friends think I'm mad and evil and should let her wait. I'm really worried that if she does, she'll never use one. She swims a lot, and goes to dance class, and absolutely FLOODS at night (enough to where she's started wearing Depends - she ASKED to), and I think tampons would really be a good idea.

I would never push her into something she's not ready for, but she actually used this one herself, so she obviously wanted to. I just don't want her to be 'scared' of trying a tampon again.

So, at the end of all that - AIBU?

[minipie]

YANBU, I think tampons are great, but I also think that if you make a big deal of it, it might backfire and she might be more inclined to reject tampons rather than less.

Just remind her that they should only really be used when she's got a reasonable flow, that it's very unusual for one to get stuck like that, and that there are different sizes available. Then drop it. Once she gets sick enough of pads I reckon she'll try them again by herself.

[kreecherlivesupstairs]

YY minipie, I remember my first foray into lillets, I didn't push it in far enough so it was bloody sore. I'd foolishly inserted it just before a PE lesson so spent an hour running around the netball court in agony.

[echt]

Just leave her to it. My DD thought they were "disgusting" and would never use them. Six months later...

Make sure there are different kinds of tampons for her to try in her own time.

[frakkit]

YABU in a way, but NBU in another.

Perspective:

I did this when I was 13. The tampon was dry and it got caught in my hymen (TMI!!!) which had partially broken because I did a lot of gym. If it was a hyemn issue then it will hurt until she loses her virginity.

I actually ended up having to go to the minor injuries unit to get it out and nearly died of embarassment.

But YANBU to not want her to be scared and for her to try it properly.

[jessiealbright]

Oh dear, I hope that in future she's going to read instructions on things. Toxic Shock Syndrome, anyone? Ah well, I suppose she's only 12, I really must stop being so judgemental, blah, blah. Right, I'll blame you! Um, I mean judgement is so unproductive and unhelpful. Yes.

Anyway, could you buy her some Lillets to try? They're smaller, aren't they? (Never tried tampax, y'see.)

[Shaz10]

Vaseline?

[Morloth]

I hate tampons.

I just skip swimming when I have my period.

[missmoopy]

YANBU at all. I think you should continue to encourage her and keep tampons in house so if she wants to, she can try again. She is so young at 12 to have to deal with this and she will eventually use tampons I am sure. Just let her get there herself.

(vaseline stops them being absorbent)

[itsatiggerday]

RBH I would leave it a while. If she's active like that, at some point she'll be fed up with pads as they'll hinder her and she'll give tampons another try. I'm sure she understands why it was painful this time and that won't necessarily be repeated but I would wait for her to have her own motivation for wanting to try again. I found it too painful even to get a tampon half in to begin with and it wasn't till I has a birthday party to go to in a fab activity pool with my period that I finally gritted my teeth and did it and discovered that it really wasn't bad after the first half a second, but I know I'd have resisted any pressure to the point of stupidity. Mind you, that might just be because I'm extremely bloody minded stubborn.

[itsatiggerday]

RBH? Meant TBH sorry. And obviously our new techie solution to group text effects doesn't apply to crossing out: bloody minded!

[GetOrfMoiLand]

Just leave her.

My dd loathed the thought of tampons for years. She has just started using them. She just nicked one of mine one day and gave it a go (it was hot and she wanted to go swimming).

Don't make a fuss about it at all, just buy tampons and towels and let her make her own decision when her period comes. She may well use tampons in the future, or she could be one of those who hates them forever. But she needs to make up her own mind.

[MrsBadger]

ime for youngsters you need the expensive ones in the plastic applicator with the 'petals' on the end - Compak iirc

[tyler80]

Lillets are less likely to get stuck like that. If there's not enough lubrication for them to come out then they probably wouldn't go in in the first place! Tampon applicators are much smoother so the tampon goes in but doesn't necessarily come out as your daughter's found out.

If she does have heavy flow, I find them much less leaky than applicator tampons, which seem to end up like long ropes rather than just a fatter tampon iyswim. Much easier to carry about, stick in a pocket/bag and better for the environment too (no applicator waste)

[loopyloops]

Get her some Lillets minis. At 12 Super will have been the problem, they hurt me and I've had a child!

[missmoopy]

Tampax pearl are good - smooth plastic applicator, looks less bulky and threatening!

[LoveBeingAsleep]

YANBU however I would just suggest it when she comes on next. Have you explained why there are different ones and also about why reading instructions is so important.

[queenrollo]

i could never get on with Tampax. i found Lillets much more 'user friendly'. I had to discover all of this for myself because my mum got all flustered and disappeared into the garden when i announced my periods had started.
It wasn't until i became more familiar with the physical anatomy down there that i actually found tampons comfortable to use as i just hadn't been putting them in right.

You obviously have a good relationship with your DD (lucky girl)so YANBU to want to encourage her to use tampons so that she can carry on with her active life when she's on her period, but as i'm sure you know her recent experience will probably make her naturally wary of using them again.

[majafa]

As with morloth,
I just miss swimming, I have tried diffrent brands of tampons and dont get on with any of them.
BUt as some one else suggested buy them, let her know they are there if she needs them.
I dunno if its still the case but I under the impression that it wasnt a good idea to use tampons in the 1st year due to irregularity, not much blood etc?

[colditz]

Tampons DO hurt, leave the poor kid alone. She probably hasn't even finished growing yet. the first time I tried a tampon I was 13 and it was worse than losing my virginity. it's a horrible feeling.

[missmoopy]

I don't think there has ever been any proof that fibres are left behind. having used tampons every month since 14 yrs old, and having seen my womb at close quarters - on a BIG screen, having camera up there for various tests! - I can assure you my womb wall was pink, smooth and spotlessly fibre free!

[diddl]

I would just explain again about using the wrong absorbency & then let her decide when to try again.

My 12yr old uses them easily now but it took a few goes.

And if it went wrong once in the period, she wouldn´t try again until the next month iyswim.

She uses Vaseline to get it in.

Here tampons with applicators only come in normal size & she doesn´t yet want to try ones without.

[iMum]

mooncup? my friends 12 yr old dd use it-was given it from period day 1 so tis all she knows.....

[NoahAndTheWhale]

Tampons are horrible. Have never managed to use them.

[tyler80]

As much as I love my mooncup there's I wouldn't recommend it to a 13 year old. It took me about 6 months worth of effort to get a tampon in (not continuous effort obviously :-)) There's no way I could have used a mooncup before i was sexually active.