A friend needed to go into hospital for a small procedure and asked if I would be able to collect her after it and drive her home. I said I would, so long as when she had the date, I didn't have other arrangements already - she knew I had a week's holiday in October, plus a weekend away.
I hear nothing about it for a while, then on 7/10, while I am on holiday, she sends a message saying the procedure is in 6 days and that 'I have to stay with her overnight or she will have to stay in hospital'. This is the first time an overnight stay was mentioned.
I tell her immediately that I don't know if it is possible as the date of her procedure is the date my car has been booked for a service - this wouldn't have mattered based on the original request to pick her up as my OH was happy for me to use his car for this. However, it doesn't allow for an overnight stay as with only one car between me and OH, one of us wouldn't have been able to get to work on time the next day and being on holiday, neither of us could request the next morning off.
I tell her I will try to change the service date for my car, but remind her that I'm on holiday and may not be able to get a reply from the garage straight away (I reality, I think this bit was my mistake, I should have just said it wasn't workable at this point).
The garage could not move my service and I let her know that I cannot stay overnight. I offer to collect her from the hospital if someone else is able to stay with her. At this point it's 4 days before the surgery.
Long story short, she has a massive rant at my via message and is no longer talking to me. She says I am selfish and have let her down.
I do feel bad that I wasn't able to help & understand why she feels a let down, but that her reaction is OTT. I feel that giving someone 6 days notice of the need for an overnight stay when they are on holiday & can't really sort the necessary things out isn't entirely fair and she should have seen that herself really.
It feels like it should be a storm in a teacup but it's been a couple of weeks now and she is still not talking to me.
Am I a selfish cow? Have I gone totally wrong here?
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AIBU?
AIBU to think my friend changed the goalposts
154 replies
StepCatsmother · 26/10/2021 14:00
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
969 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
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